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Is anyone else dizzy?
this whole school thing is and then everyone in it is
im kinda afrid im going to have another break down but im scared.
i hate this feeling that im not good enough
and sense i think that im all freaked.
my dad is trying really hard that i dont but it school not him
and when he does do something wrong and i think
"i hate him"
it makes me feel bad and like im a phony
he doesn't get that when i dont say how i feel its not cus im angry at him its because i dont want to cry infront of him or make him think that im a bad kid.
Then theres this guy thats super confusing
First he would say "your cute" to me like everyday but he had a girlfriend so i tried not to like him
then i stared felling guilty because i knew i liked him but i love Jack
then he was hanging out at my house and he almost cryed becuase he wasnt sure about his girlfriend
and you know what he did then?
he says to me "im not ure if i love her anymore because i really like you"
i fliped.
happy and sad
i told him i liked him too but i dont want to be a reason for you to break up.
He said its okay and just act like we never said anything
pretend i didnt say anything and just act like you normally do.
This just made me more confused.
and then he would call every night saying "do you still like me?" in this tone that i cant explain but it made me fell amazing
i would say yes and he would usually say something like "alright" or "thats good because i do too"
it freaked me out.
then when i decided i wanted to ethier be his or be nothing i had Emilee ask him for me.
he said he couldnt date me because he does love his girlfriend but he still wants me to like him.
this is what infroiates me
you cant do that to someone
having them know you like them and them like you and turn around to make-out with your girl.
its sickening
at first i still wanted to be friends but just with out the "your cute" comments so i wouldnt fall for him still
he wouldnt stop so i stop hanging out with him
now i feel bad because every time i see him i imagen when he cryed at my house and how i wont be the one he can cry to.
all in all
high school sucks.
bad grades.
bad guys.
no new friends.
and more panic.
HATE IT!
icrush{sick and confused}
 Icrush · Sun Nov 23, 2008 @ 10:58pm · 0 Comments |
