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Lots of things have been going on lately, and I feel guilty. I like a boy and I don't want to. He knows now and its been settled, but even though im happy with the outsome, actually makes me feel worse.
I've dated quite a few guys. None of them have really given me that infatuated feeling except, who we will call Guy X. Even after complications, I believed that I was faithful to him because he was the one guy that I liked despite myself.
Now, all of a sudden, 5 years later I get this feeling again. Guy X isn't my anything anymore. He's just the guy who hurt me.
I don't feel faithful.
And I wish it were true.
If my crush and I had a decent chance together, I could get over Guy X and hopefully move on. That won't happen though, no matter how much I wish for it though.

I wish to be unbound from him and to have my life back, but alas, I haven't found the one who is willing to break the chains.
And this chance might be the last.

I know where my crush stands on being left out of things, so he needs to know what happened.