Here in this lone room.
Awaiting my certain doom.
This pain lurking under me.
A wound so deep that no one can ever see.
How strange I find it that this emptiness,
To me is quite bliss.
I stand here day after day,
The more I hold it in the further I stray.
I am now caught between a decision.
One that will mark my soul with a deep incision.
What is it that I can do to make my emptiness go away?
I sit here now pondering on my decision watching the clock sway.
I want to end it all,
Because when I call,
Nobody is responding at all.
No, that is not true.
Some try to help me through/
However, as they begin to help me,
I don't want them to be.
I hide my sorrow and pain in a mask of joy,
But I can feel it's affect on me and slowly destroy.
What is happening to the life I once knew?
Is my time served in this wretched life through?
I think I know what I want to do,
I want to start over, start anew.
The only one that I actually felt is worth while,
Is separated from me by each mile.
Day by day I stray,
Seeking a different way.
What I once knew is right,
Those morals I want to fight.
I want to isolate myself from everything,
And yet I want to be nothing.
I wish I could leave and never return,
For a moment of silence and peace is what I yearn.
I take out my own emptiness on others by making them miserable.
By fooling myself and them my reason, "just cause I am able."
I want to be left alone and never show my face,
Oh for such a place!
I want to leave to somewhere where I can find my true being,
And write down what it is that I am seeing.
Writing this I feel tears flowing,
But why am I crying?
I feel soon, when I am ready,
I will depart from me.
And I will go to where I long.
And find the place, I truly belong.
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I can Only Remember Pieces...
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