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“I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.”
If they gave medals for honkeytonk wars...
I'd keep mine in my chest o' drawers.

There is a constant, running commentary in my head. It's voiced by those muppet guys in the balcony. Best part of the show, really.

Those balcony guys have been keeping my head running for many a year now. Every once in a while, they stop and make me think about something. Usually, it's about what somone has said to me. There's an old quote that goes; "We hate in others what we see in ourselves." I can see the truth behind that statement. I can also see how, like most of life, it doesn't always apply. There are some people in this cold, cruel world, who are just going to piss you off. No matter what they do. If they're rescuing puppies, you'd rather be kicking them. If they're sailing with greenpeace, you'd rather be torpedoing their boats. If they are anti fur, you go looking for minks.

Now, not saying that we are all contrary just to spite these people, or to piss them off. As a matter of course, we do contrary things because we can't let urselves agree with them, or make them right. We just can't bring ourselves to do it. However, there are times when our dislike, our anger, is fully ********' justified. When you see the way with which they treat the people around them, the way they treat you, the way they handle problems and situations, you can develop an intense dislike for very valid reasons. Because, quite frankly, some people are ********.

Some people don't know the meaning of the word responsibility, or hypocrisy, or arrogant, or foolish, or self-righteous, or self-destructive, or conniving p***k. Some people can't see past their own foolishness and understand that not all of life is one big drama stage. That some things, well, they just aren't that important. And dear christ, my muppet balcony guys like to rip into these sad ********. Just tear them apart. They may be fine, upstanding people when they aren't talking to me, or chatting with me, or working with me or whatever.. but, when all I see is ********, it tends to color ones perceptions.

Not that there's much a point to all this meandiring waffle, I jsut felt like saying it. Sometims, it's very hard for me to say what I'm thinking. It's all associated and interwoven with 15 million other things. There's always more meaning behind my words, but time and common sense keep me from extrapolating on this. So, I'll keep it short, blunt, and sweet.

I ******** hate the majority of people.

I would change many things about the world if I was god.

So, let's play the home version. If you read this journal, and for whatever reason, find yourself bored, play the "If I was god" homegame.

Write in your journal 10 things you would change about The WORLD, if you were god. Not about yourself, your'e god, you're perfect. The WORLD. Here's my list.


#1: All evangelical religions would be painful.
#2: No one has to beleive what you believe. People would inherently know, understand, and accept this. However, this does not mean you can choose to not believe in these laws. These laws would be fact, truth, and punishable by death. This would mean the end of war, and jehovas witnesses. I don't know which would make me happier.
#3: Smoking would make you stronger, smarter, faster, and more agile, but only if you were a smoker before this was changed. Also, smokers are legally entitled to now punch whoever says "You know, those are bad for you" or "tos things will kill you" in the face, without repurcussions. ******** off you bastards, we know and you're just pissing us off. See #2.
#4: Acting like a ******** online is punishable by law, and by harsh beatings.
#5: There is no currency. Just the worldwide "credit" system. It's all digital, everyone uses it, I'd base it off the dollar for balance reasons. All previous existing money would be converted to credits, with balances for exchange rates, so no one would lose anything. Even the playing field. You want ot keep your pounds, or loonies, or rubles? Call your credits whatever the ******** you want, they mean the same thing everywhere now, and no one cares. 1:1 ratio.
#6: All menial, shitty jobs would pay 8 credits an hour, minimum, this will increase by 1 dollar every year, until it becomes unfeasable. These jobs ******** suck, but somone has to do them, might as well make it worthwhile.
#7: All naturally occuring drugs would be legal, and readily available. If you OD and die, it's your own damn fault. If you become a hopeless addict, it's your own damn fault. See #2.
#8: Punishment fits the crime. Anyone who commits rape, is surgically sterilized and nuetered. Murderers are murdered. Theives get their s**t stolen by the victims, twice over. Assaulters get assaulted with bamboo canes. Same goes for fals crimes. People who vindictively accuse people of rape, get raped. People who accuse others of theft, the accused gets to take some of their s**t, etc... ******** them. You're going to be vindictive, you ******** suffer.
#9: There would be no sexual perversions, other than the unholy trinity. No animals. No dead people. (basically, nothing that can't give consent other htan inanimate object solely designed for that purpose. No, corpses are not designed for that purpose.) No eliminations. (scat, urine..) Everything else is all down to preference and flexibility. Along with this, there would be no STD other than pregnancy, which is fatal 100% of the time, just like it is now. Abortions would be legal. See #2.
#10: There would be a sexual position known as :"doing it Twisty style" Or "Getting your twistsex on". Men will pleasure themselves while watching this, so will women.

And that's what I would do if I were god.

------------------------------------------------

Roger Alan Wade - "If you're gonna be dumb, ya gotta be tough."

If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
When you get knocked down you gotta get back up,
I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer but I know enough, to know,
If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough

Well, I drenched my brain with Rot-Gut whiskey
'Till all my pain was chicken fried
And I had dudes with badges frisk me
Teach me how to swallow pride
I took advice no fool would take
I got some habits I cant't shake
I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I know enough to know
If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough

If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
When you get knocked down, you gotta get back up
That's the way it is in life and love
If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough

I've been up and down and down and out
I've been left and right and wrong
Yeah, I've walked the walk and I've run my mouth
I've been on the short end for too long
But if they gave medals for honky tonk wars
Hell, I'd put mine in my chest of drawers
With my irs bills and divorce papers and all that stuff
If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough

If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
When you get knocked down, you gotta get back up
I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I know enough to know
If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough


Twistex
Community Member
  • [07/13/09 05:33pm]
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  • [12/06/07 08:15pm]


  • User Comments: [11]
    I'd change animals to "anything that can't legitimately consent". Children, deafmute quadriplegics, etc.

    Aside from that, no need to make my own list. You've covered the bases already. *shrugs*

    Hehe. Co-ed naked Twister gone wrong.

    comment Moonblossom · Community Member · Sun Aug 28, 2005 @ 08:33pm
    Hm, I'll have to try that.
    Hope you don't mind if I use and add-on to #8.
    I've always been all for that style of punishment.
    All I'd want to add is a developed way to determine who actually did what.
    Otherwise who get's punished would still be determined by who can better manipulate the system (wait, would there even be a system? @w@).

    ...maybe go all Minority report and have things 'predicted'/noted beforehand or at the time fo the act except cooler because the concept in MR was flawed too ;>_>

    What about your #4 coming back to bite you in the a**? X3
    And when is #10 coming out on Dvd?

    comment McKenzie · Community Member · Sun Aug 28, 2005 @ 08:38pm
    Aye.. I'd add deafmutes, children, and family members.

    #4 won't bite me on the a**. I'm a b*****d, and an a*****e, but very, very rarely am I a ********. When I am, it's in person.

    Edited the entry, to reflect the changes I needed to make.

    comment Twistex · Community Member · Sun Aug 28, 2005 @ 09:13pm
    What about consenting family members of the same sex? ;_;
    There's no risk of birth defects... sweatdrop

    I'm kidding

    comment Moonblossom · Community Member · Sun Aug 28, 2005 @ 09:18pm
    As one of my favorite comics (preacher) once said; "Son of god or not, you can't ******** your sister and expect much good to come of it."

    One would assume this applies to brothers as well.

    comment Twistex · Community Member · Sun Aug 28, 2005 @ 09:58pm
    What about cousins? My cousin's pretty hot ;_;

    I'll just stop now. Cause this is getting odd, even for me.

    comment Moonblossom · Community Member · Sun Aug 28, 2005 @ 11:48pm
    >.> It is getting wierd.

    Anyways, I support Twistex's Muppet-balcony Mind dudes. And #4. And 5. Heck, most of them. They should be made laws.

    comment Druki · Community Member · Mon Aug 29, 2005 @ 03:41am
    Hmm... what would I change if I was a goddess... hmm.... I'd actually be tempted to wipe out humanity... or at least keep them to a one child limit. Probably would level all religious establishments.. damn organized religions.....
    I like your number 8.

    Now.. back to my Nintendogs....... sweatdrop

    comment Futo Maki · Community Member · Mon Aug 29, 2005 @ 06:00am
    You mean there isn't already a sexual position dedicated to the glorious perversion that is teh Twisty?

    comment Cassidy Peterson · Community Member · Mon Aug 29, 2005 @ 03:57pm
    Sadly, there is not. I would love to change that.

    comment Twistex · Community Member · Mon Aug 29, 2005 @ 05:59pm
    I don't think I could draw such a thing....
    Would be odd though... very odd.... 4laugh

    comment Futo Maki · Community Member · Tue Aug 30, 2005 @ 02:52am
    User Comments: [11]

     
     
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