Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Twilight
my name is Bella. im 18.i a vampire.im going to write alot of random stuff so......ya thats about it.Bye
omg its the 3 page

my decision, each one ready to tear itself open again. Both pieces of my heart screamed at me as I tried to decide whom to save. As the battle raged on around me, the battle inside my head began. The outcome of each battle would be the same. The fate of the war, and the lives of Edward and Jacob, depended on my decision.
In the darkness of the night, the war continued as I tried to make the impossible choice.

Chapter 11: Provision For The End
Another agonized scream from Jacob tore through the air. I looked back and forth between Edward and Jacob, trying to force myself to come to a conclusion. I knew I had no choice; I wouldn't-couldn't-go through the pain of losing him again. I took a step towards Edward.
"I'm so sorry, Jacob." I whispered.
Pain took me over as I walked towards Edward, leaving Jacob to die. I was a monster, a hideous monster. After all Jacob had done for me, I had continued to put him in pain even to the end. I had loved him, but it wasn't enough. It was just enough to hurt him.
I knew I couldn't live without Edward, but could I live without Jacob? Could I go through my eternal existence knowing that Jacob would've lived if I had chosen him? But I knew that, whatever my choice, I would have to suffer. Pain was my only option.
Jacob screamed again, as if begging me to change my mind. My legs became Jell-O as pain continued to wash through me. I struggled to keep myself standing, to keep walking. I had to help Edward. But then a miracle occurred.
Jasper ran out from the mayhem to Edward's aid. Together, they fought against Embry and Leah. Both sides now had an even chance. There wasn't anything I could do that would be helpful now.
I looked back at Jacob, who was still in need of my help.
The sun broke over the treetops as if encouraging my new decision.
I ran at vampire speed towards Jane. And then, with a thundering boom that sounded like boulders smashing together, I knocked her to the ground. Jacob's screaming stopped immediately, but he stayed unmoving on the ground.
Jane and I both stood up. Jane glared at me, her crimson eyes glowing with anger. Then she launched herself towards me, her hands held out ready to tear me apart. I dodged and she missed me by an inch. She then spun around and launched herself at me again-to my side this time. I tried to dodge, but I was too slow. I screamed as Jane sunk her teeth into the marble skin on my arm, letting the venom flow into my empty veins. But before she used her teeth to rip my arm out of it's socket, I lifted my leg and kicked her in the stomach with all my might. Shocked by the blow, her jaws released my arm. Then she went flying through the air and landed several yards away.
I lifted my right hand to my left arm-to the place where Jane had bit me. The venom didn't send the burning sensation running through my body, but it stung a lot. I clenched my teeth as the stinging continued.
But then Jane returned and the fighting resumed. I never found an opening to attack, so all I could do was dodge her. But she was getting better. She began predicting my movements as the fight continued. I had no fighting experience at all, I was just a newborn; I was only running on my survival instincts and adrenaline. Jane had thousands of years of experience. It wouldn't be long before I lost.
Jane continued to attack at me from different sides and before I knew it Jane was behind me. I knew I wouldn't be able to dodge, or even turn around, in time. I waited for the deathblow. But instead of another attack, I heard what sounded like thunder crashing. I turned around and saw Jane-flat on her back-with Jacob on top of her. Jacob tried to get his jaws around her neck, but she managed to push him off her. Before Jane could get the advantage and attack Jacob, I ran at her again and knocked her back down. And then Jacob was at my side and, together, we dismembered and decapitated Jane, ignoring her screams. I thought I was going to be sick.
"Jane!"
Jacob and I turned to see Alec staring in horror at the shredded remains of his sister. Then horror was replaced with hatred as his crimson eyes turned to us. And then, beside me, Jacob collapsed.
"Jacob!"
I knelt down beside him. He was still breathing, but his eyes were closed.
I looked back at Alec. Frustration was now on his face as he stared at me. What was he trying to do? What was he doing to Jacob? Failure spread across Alec's face before he began to advance towards us. But before he took a single step, Alice came from behind him and was suddenly on top of him.
I looked around. The Volturi were no longer fighting with the Cullens, they were fighting against them. All alliances were gone. It was now a three-sided battle. And-from what I could see-the Volturi were losing.
I heard Jacob take in a deep breath. I turned to him and saw that his dark eyes were open.
"Jacob, are you alright?" I asked.
Jacob let out a sigh as he stood up so that he towered over me. He nodded.
Then I saw a movement in the corner of my eye. I turned and saw one of the Volturi guard-with only one arm-running at us. Jacob also saw, and then charged at him and began doing the same to him as we had done to Jane.
Now that Jacob was safe I began looking around at the mayhem searching for Edward. Was he alright? Had Jasper's help been sufficient enough? Had he survived the battle?
I began to panic as my search came up empty. I left Jacob's side and ran through the chaos, searching frantically. I didn't see him.
No, not again! I can't lose him again! Please let him be alright, please! I begged silently.
As I searched I saw the black wolf, Sam, begin running towards me. I gasped.
"BELLA!" I recognized the velvet voice at once. It was Edward's voice. Even though Sam was about to kill me, relief ran through me. Edward was alive. I turned and saw him running towards me.
My relief disappeared when Edward placed himself between Sam and me-arms lifted protectively in front of me-ready to protect me from Sam.
I took in a quick breath, as Sam got closer. Then, just a foot away from Edward, Sam stopped dead in his tracks.
I looked around and saw that Sam wasn't the only one. All of the werewolves had frozen, everyone except Jacob.
Jacob was looking at Sam, walking towards us. He stopped in front of Sam and continued to stare at him.
"Ah, come on! It's no fun if you don't fight back!" I heard Emmett complain on the other side of the clearing, glaring at a wolf with dark silver fur, Paul.
"Emmett, shh." Edward said so quiet that if had still been a human I wouldn't have been able to hear. Emmett looked at Edward with a curious expression.
I leaned around Edward's arm and looked at Edward's face. His gaze was locked on Jacob and Sam, fascination on his face.
I looked back at Jacob and Sam, wondering what was going on. They continued to stare at each other unmoving. Then Sam nodded and took a step away from Jacob.
Then the whole werewolf pack, except for Jacob, began to move towards the trees surrounding the clearing. Silently, they disappeared into the blackness of the forest.
Jacob took a step towards Edward and I. Edward kept his protective stance in front of me.
I gazed into Jacob's eyes. Pain ran through me as I saw the pain in his eyes.
"Jacob-" I wanted to try and comfort him some how. It hurt me to see him this way. His pain was my pain. It had always been that way.
But before I could continue, Jacob suddenly darted away and followed the rest of the werewolf pack into the forest, leaving my family and I alone in the clearing with the shredded remains of the Volturi guard.
Dozens of emotions came crashing down on me at once. I knelt down on the ground and began crying my tearless sobs. Edward knelt down beside me, picked me up, and cradled me in his arms.
"It's alright, Bella. It's over now. You're safe. It's over." He chanted in my ear.
As I continued to cry the Cullens began to converge on us. I felt another emotion, relief, when I saw that all of the Cullens were there, unharmed.
"Bella, are you alright?" Esme asked.
I didn't answer. Why should they care if I was alright or not? I was a monster. I wasn't worth caring for.
"She seems to be alright. You better take her away from here, Edward, help her calm down. We'll take care of things here."
I was pretty sure I knew what he meant by taking care of things: to take the remains of the Volturi-including Jane who I had helped destroy-and burn them. I shuddered.
Edward stood up, and then we were flying through the forest away from the clearing. I continued to cry until we reached the stolen car. Edward opened the car door and sat me down on the passenger seat before sitting down next to me and closing the door behind him. I tried to calm myself down. There were so many questions I had for him. Edward waited patiently as I struggled to compose myself. Eventually I was able to stop the sobs, but I didn't know how much more I could take. I decided to start with the easier questions.
"How did the werewolf pack find us?" I asked first.
"They caught the Volturi's scent and went to investigate. When they saw us they couldn't attack unless they knew we had broken the treaty. Jasper was standing in between you and the werewolves, so they couldn't see you." He answered.
"So when Jasper moved…"
"The werewolf pack saw you." Edward finished.
Then another question popped in my mind.
"What was Alec's power? He started doing something to…" I took a deep breath, "Jacob, but I'm not sure what."
"Alec's power is what usually makes the Volturi invincible, well except for tonight…" Edward paused when I shuddered at the memory of the destroyed Volturi guards on the ground in the clearing, "He has the ability to weaken someone's body with his mind. He can weaken an entire army at the same time. It's pretty handy talent in a fight." He answered.
Then I reached my final question.
"What happened? Why did the werewolf pack leave?"
Edward kept his face emotionless as he answered.
"Remember how every werewolf pack in Quileute history has had a pack leader? And then another leader below him? An Alpha and a Beta?" He asked me.
"Yes."
"And how the rest of the pack have to obey the Alpha's and Beta's orders?"
I nodded.
"Did Jacob ever tell you that he was actually supposed to be the Alpha? Not the Beta?"
"Yes, he did." I answered in a whisper. Pain tore through me at Jacob's name.
Before Jacob had become a werewolf, Sam, the first one to transform, had been a temporary Alpha. When Jacob had transformed, Sam had offered him his rightful place as leader of the pack, but Jacob had turned him down. He hadn't wanted the responsibility. So he had become the Beta instead while Sam remained the Alpha.
Edward was silent for a moment.
"When Jacob saw Sam running at you, he knew the only way to stop him was to order him to stop. The only way he could do that was by becoming the Alpha. He chose to become the leader of the pack to save you. Without him, the war would have continued." His tone was full of gratitude.
All of the emotions hit me again. But with the revived pain and guilt, I felt gratitude. He had saved my family, my friends, and myself. Without him I would have lost everything. But the gratitude was what fueled the pain and guilt. He had saved me during my darkest night and brought hope and light into my new life of darkness when all hope was gone, like the breaking of dawn. And all I had done was put him through pain. And now he would be in pain for the rest of his life because of me. I knew that the sight of me as a vampire would haunt him forever, as would the memory of the pain in his eyes haunt me.
"Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked, his voice full of worry. I realized I was crying again.
I looked up at Edward, nothing but concern for me on his face.
No, my life was not a life of darkness. I still had Edward, the one I loved more then anything-even Jacob. But to be with Edward I had to let Jacob go. I remembered how Edward had said that I couldn't save everyone and I couldn't make everyone happy. It was true. I knew it would be hard to except, but that's how things were. Even as a vampire that would have been an impossible task to accomplish. All I could do was hope that the wounds I had inflicted on Jacob would heal over time.
I knew that if everyone on in the world had a soul mate, then Edward was defiantly mine. Someone for Jacob had to be out there. He just had to see her. Hopefully she would be enough to make him happy, because I couldn't make him happy anymore. I had chosen my path. I was a vampire. I would spend the rest of eternity with the Cullens, with Edward.
As if I had called them, the rest of the Cullens appeared.
"We're done." Rosalie said, no emotion in her voice.
I looked up in the direction of the clearing and saw a pillar of strange, purple smoke rising in the distance.
"I'll need to go to Volterra and explain all this. It should be alright. Aro, Marcus, Caius, and I are old friends." Carlisle said.
"Why did we have to burn them? Couldn't we have just let them put themselves together?" I asked.
"They'd probably end up looking for revenge. It's better this way." Edward answered, his voice emotionless too.
I looked back up at the smoke and shuddered. I felt like I was about to cry again as the memories of the war ran through my head. It had been so horrible
But it was over, I reminded myself. The war was over and everyone I loved was safe. I was surrounded by my family and my true love, the ones who I would spend the rest of my eternal life with. Jacob had saved them all, had saved everything and everyone I cared about. He had been my breaking dawn. And for that I would be eternally grateful.


Epilogue: Happy Endings

I couldn't believe I was actually here! It had been a whole year since I had been here. I had thought I would never be able to return in order to keep Charlie safe. But here I was walking up to the front door of Charlie's house.
Carlisle had said a year ago that, because of my unusual self-control, I might be able to see Charlie. That was before I had crushed Tanya's front door knob and also smashed the coffee table into splinters. Then he said we should probably wait until I was no longer a newborn and had gotten used to my new vampire abilities.
When Christmas had come, I had called Charlie with the excuse that Edward and I were still trying to get settled in. It took a while to convince him, but eventually he gave up. Then summer had come and I told him that Edward and I were just to busy with school. Charlie had become very suspicious when I couldn't give him many details as to exactly why I was so busy. But when Christmas came again I was able to call Charlie and tell him that Edward and I were coming this year. Of course, Charlie was very excited. So, a week after I had called Charlie, Edward and I got into my new Audi coupe (Edward finally beat me and got me one) and drove to the airport. And now we were here, ringing Charlie's doorbell.
"I can't believe I'm here!" I said to myself, though of course Edward could hear me.
Edward was smiling, happy to see that I was happy.
Then the door opened and there stood Charlie with a smile on his face. His smile disappeared as he looked at me, stunned. I had been afraid of this. I had hoped that I wouldn't look too different to Charlie. I had always been pale, and my gold eyes were just a bit lighter than before when they were brown. And the dark purple under my eyes could just be because of a lack of sleep, which was true. But Charlie noticed the change.
"Wow, Bella. You look…different." He stuttered in shock as he continued to stare at me.
I didn't care if he noticed how different I looked. I was just thrilled to see him. I ran up to him and hugged him, making sure I was gentle enough so I didn't accidentally crush him.
"It's great to see you, Dad." I said as I released him.
Shock was still on his face, but then it melted into a smile.
"It's great to see you too, Bella. It feels like it's been a century since I last saw you. What's been going on lately?"
I glanced at Edward, holding back a giggle. Edward was still smiling his beautiful smile. Then I looked back at Charlie.
"It's a long story, Dad." I said with a smile.


Charlie, Edward, and I sat together in the family room talking. At the moment we were talking about college. Charlie was still under the impression that Edward and I were still going to the University of Alaska. Though of course we weren't. So we had to make up stuff as we went along.
"So, have you made any friends in college?" Was one of the questions Charlie asked.
"No, not really." I answered. It was true, unless you counted Tanya's family. Except for Irina, who was still upset, we were all getting along really well. But I was still glad we didn't have to live together any more. Instead, we now lived in a house near Tanya's house.
We continued to talk until the doorbell rang. I looked at Charlie curiously. Charlie suddenly seemed uncomfortable, embarrassed.
"Who is it, Dad?" I asked him.
Charlie was silent for a moment. I looked at Edward. His smile was gone and his face was now empty of emotion. I looked back at Charlie.
"Um, when you called I, uh, told Jacob you were coming to visit. He had wondered if he could come down and see you, and I said yes." Charlie finally answered. He smiled weakly, embarrassed.
I didn't say anything. Jacob was at the door. The memories of the last time I had seen him, after the war, popped into my head. I just stared at Charlie with my lower jaw hanging. Charlie stood up.
"I'll go answer it." He said before walking out of the room. I listened as he opened the door.
"Hey, Jacob! Hi, Angela! How are you doing?" He greeted them.
Angela? I perked up and listened harder, though I knew it wasn't necessary. I could already hear everything perfectly.
"We're doing good. Is Bella here?" I recognized Jacob's voice, a voice I hadn't heard in a long time.
"Yes, she is. Why don't you come in?" Charlie said.
A few moments later, Charlie walked into the family room with Jacob and Angela, who were holding hands, behind him.
I stared at Jacob's face. It seemed like forever since I had last seen his human face. But Jacob didn't meet my gaze. He was looking at Edward with discomfort and apology on his face.
I had to strain my neck to look up at him. He was huge! It seemed like he had grown another two feet since the last time I had seen him human more then a year ago. I wasn't sure if that was just because I hadn't seen him in a while, or if it was because he really had grown.
There weren't enough seating places, so Jacob and Angela sat on the floor-keeping their hands entwined. I wondered…
"It's great to see you guys again. I've missed you. It was like you disappeared off the face of the earth." Angela said.
"We've been really busy with college." Edward said with a conversational voice. I looked at him. He seemed to be alright, but I knew better then to believe what I saw. I hoped he was okay.
Angela looked at us curiously. I wondered, if my suspicions were correct, if she knew everything.
"Yeah, I was going to the University of Washington. But when I came down to spend the summer with my parents," She turned to Jacob, "I met Jacob at the beach. We fell in love and I decided to drop out of college to marry him," She turned back to us, "My parents were a bit mad. They thought I should get a good education first. But I couldn't wait."
I struggled to keep my lower jaw from dropping again. Had I heard her right? Jacob and Angela were married? Had Jacob imprinted on her? Angela? Who'd have thought?
I was taken by surprise when I felt a small twinge of jealousy. That wasn't a reaction I had been expecting. This was what I had wanted: For Jacob to find his soul mate, to be happy. Jacob seemed very happy sitting next to Angela. I shouldn't be feeling jealous, but a part of me was.
Before I could stop myself, a question from the jealous part of me escaped my lips.
"What happened to Ben?" Had I still been human, I knew I would have blushed.
"Things didn't work out. We broke up." She didn't seem sad about this fact.
"Hm." I tried to sound uninterested, trying to make up for the rude question.
The conversation didn't last long. Nothing exciting had been going on lately, at least nothing we could say in front of Charlie. None of us spoke much. So, after a long moment of silence, Jacob and Angela stood up and said that they should get going. Charlie, Edward, and I began to walk Jacob and Angela to the door. But before we got out of the family room, Jacob stopped.
"Could I talk to Bella alone for a moment." He asked, looking at Edward and I.
I looked at Edward. Worry was on his face, but he nodded. Then Charlie, Edward, and Angela left the room-leaving Jacob and I alone.
"You imprinted on Angela?" I asked, though I was pretty sure I was right.
"Yep." Jacob answered simply.
"Wow." I muttered.
It was silent for a moment, but then Jacob started talking quickly as if we only had a few more seconds to talk.
"Oh, Bella. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you. I'm sorry for attacking Edward. I know you love him. It was just so hard for me to except that you chose him over me. I know I shouldn't have interfered, but I couldn't just stand there and let him bite you. He could have killed you. I would have died if that had happened to you. I was only trying to protect you. But that's no excuse. I'm so sorry. I wanted to apologize sooner, but I didn't want to make you upset. But when you left, I couldn't sleep. I was always wondering what had happened to you. It nearly killed me, not knowing. I'm so sorry!" He said in a rush.
"Jacob," I stopped him. Why was he apologizing? That was what I was supposed to be doing, "It's alright. Edward's fine. I know you were just trying to stop Edward from biting me, though that wasn't what he doing, but it's alright. I forgive you." I smiled, trying to make him feel better.
Jacob looked at me with a confused expression, "He wasn't about to bite you?" He asked.
"No, he was just…" Would it hurt him if I told the truth? I didn't know. But he deserved to know, at least, "kissing me. You know?"
His confused expression was replaced by guilt and embarrassment.
"Oh." Was all he said.
"But I had one question. Why didn't you burn him?" I asked.
"Well, I realized what I had done and I knew it would hurt you. I hoped those legends of vampires being able to put themselves together was true. Turned out they were right." He answered.
Neither of us spoke for a moment. I could tell that Jacob was uncomfortable in the silence. He looked at the floor.
"Well, that was all I wanted to say. So, I guess I better go now." Jacob said, breaking the silence.
Before I could stop him, Jacob left the room. I ran after him.
I had to slow down to a human walk once I was out of the family room. When I reached the front hall I saw Jacob with Angela about to leave out the front door.
"It was nice having you over." Charlie said.
"Thanks for inviting us. It was nice to see you again." Angela said to Edward and I when I reached them.
"See you later." Jacob said, mostly to Charlie. Then he and Angela walked out the door.
"Wait!" I let go of Edward's hand and ran to Jacob. Jacob stopped and turned towards me. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him.
"Thank you so much, Jacob." I whispered in his ear.
"Anytime." He whispered back. I let go of him and saw that he was smiling. Then his smile faded.
"I'll miss you." He said.
"I'll miss you, too," I said, "Don't worry, I'll still come back and visit a lot. I'll visit so much that you'll get sick of me." I smiled. That had been one of the first things I had said when I had visited Jacob in his house for the first time. Jacob's smile returned.
"I doubt that. I've never gotten sick of you." He said.
Jacob glanced at Angela and then began to reluctantly back away from me.
"Bye, Bella." He said.
"Bye, Jake." I said back.
Then Jacob turned around and ran to Angela. Then they got in Jacob's Rabbit. I ran at human speed back to where Edward and Charlie stood. I turned around to see Jacob and Angela leave as I took hold of Edward's hand. Silently, we watched them drive away until we couldn't see them anymore. I turned and looked up at Edward. I smiled at him before bringing my lips to his.
I knew that I could now be happy for the rest of my eternal existence. I would be with Edward forever, Jacob was happy, and I would be able to visit my mortal family. The dangers were gone. James, Victoria, Laurent, and the Volturi guard were all gone. Carlisle had told Aro that the Volturi guard had attacked us and had never told him about the werewolves. Aro had believed him, and Carlisle was certain that the Volturi would no longer be a danger to us. No threats lingered in the darkness. No more risks would have to be taken. No more sacrifices would have to be made. Edward and I could be together for all eternity and our love would last forever.
As the sun shone down on us, Edward and I continued to kiss with a passion that could not be broken and a love that would never end.






User Comments: [1]
LittleJuggalette_420
Community Member





Sun Jul 06, 2008 @ 05:15pm


omg i am a emo vampire and i found a fellow vamp yay.(oh god i sound like a prep sumone kill me)


User Comments: [1]
 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum