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I am fairly certain that my life would be less complicated if I wouldn't make it so much harder all the time. I can't blame the circumstances around me because their are people in much worse situations that are handling everything so much better than I do. I need a giant restart button for my life. I have screwed this one up pretty bad. Actually, If I stopped being so melodramatic I could see that my life isn't so bad. Its not ideal and I am nowhere near where I thought I would be at 22 but all in all its not terrible. I need to cowboy the ******** up and stop being such a baby. I'm gonna finish school, get a job (no idea at what though), possibly move, and get on with my ******** life. Part of me still hopes for Mr. Wonderful to show up and love me in a way that no one has ever loved me. To promise to never leave me and mean it. Who stays. But I have to be realistic. Not everyone finds heart stopping kind of love. Most only dream about it and settle for the love they have found. I'm nothing special and shouldn't pretend to be. If 98% of the history of the world didn't find their soulmate I shouldn't expect to find mine. *sigh* It would be nice though. Of course it would hurt that much more when it ended. God I'm such a ******** pessimist. lol I need a cookie. xd