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Wow LOL this is a productive night, my mom is loud as hell up there, she keeps stomping on my roof, its 2:46 when i started writting this, i think i might actually have a slight case of insomnia, my mom still insists that i just have my days and nights mixed up, well she doesnt know ANYTHING, she also thought that when i first came down with depression, and when i first started cutting myself that i needed more sunligt-i spent EVERY DAY FOR A MONTH OUTSIDE and what happened, i got a sunburn, and i got more depressed, the only real reason that i think im depressed is because my parents split up, i live with my mom now, i hardly ever see my dad, he doesnt have tv, internet, or a phone, soo if i go out to the lake where we used to live it would be a huge setback for me, i just got used to havign all these things and i simply cant function without them,
anyway soo about my depression thing, when i moved in with my sista, it got a little better for the first like week, then my depression hit me hard again
so when i came home, i was only supposed to be here for a visit, i was unbearable happy, i quit my meds cause i wasnt depressed anymore, i stopped cutting, i started eating normal, everythign just seemed to get better, while i was here, i went to trish, (well i pretty much lived there when i came back) and tricia had naz added on her msn, i remeber tricia got me so hyped up i sorta went a little crazy on the comp. and well naz eventually got my msn-i think i actually forced him to take it LOL- and well everynight for about the next two weeks we talked for hours on end on msn, lol
im a newb at the whole relationship dating thing lol soo, my other friend Mary asked me-If naz asked you out what would you say?- lol i asked -why is he going to?- lol i practicly forced her to tell me^^ im glad i did though, cause the next day he asked me over msn, lol i remember it was so cute ^^ shut up Lol i found it adorable, when we first met it was all tense lol i dont think ive ever blushed so much in my life LOL it was kinda awkward though lol i was kinda worried cause i was a bit too tense xd i honestly didnt know if we were even going to last that long, lol at the beggining, we hardly talked we were both too shy, lol i didnt mind i found it to be adorable lol i still doo-always will lol
anyyway so like 2 weeks after we started going out I went to his house for the first time, lol i found his parents really nice lol i still doo, we went to his room, he showed me his bass, and we watched the grudge, (I WAS TERRAFIED OF THAT SHOW-i still get paranoid sometimes) so naz asked marty to go get Darkness Falls, lol right after marty left, naz sorta just glanced and me and muttered to himself -im just gunna do it- and he just kissed me LOL whooaa that totally caught me off guard, lol i hid behind a pillow cause a huge smile was spread across my face, and i didnt want to look like a fool lol, naz thought he had done something wrong so he sorta hid behind a pillow too LOl it was very tense xD
soo when marty got back it sorta chilled out a little bit lol, i remember after that i never wanted to go anywhere, or do anything without him(naz not smarty lol), lol i think i mellowed out a bit after the kiss, lol ill still never forget it ^^
wow im not in a lovey mood AT ALL LOL
anyway so yea this is nearly 6 months later, and were still together, lol im crazy happy, i hope he is too lol
im not looking forward to this summer though, naz is going home to new bruinswick...which is like a reeally far away place from our tiny town, hes going to be gone soon....i was supposed to go up with his parents, but the dont know if i can go now... ill understand if i cant go lol i dont want to be a burden to them Ill just miss naz like crazy xS lol anyway now that im done with my pitty party LOl i can still be in a lovey mood, lol wanna know something??? i still smile when i picture his face Lol i know its kinda wierd, i just sorta clued into it today, his face popped into my head in school, and apparently i was smilling like a fool LOL a couple girls were a little freaked cause i dont really smile all that much LoL
alright well now its 3:10 soo im gunna go to bed soon cause i gotta get up at 6 LOL this is gunna be a fun day LOOOLLL
Love you naz, seeya soon chaooo
 XxShadow_DarknessxX · Fri Jun 20, 2008 @ 11:11am · 0 Comments |
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