Faerie Calling
Purpose: to call the good folk to your general vicinity for general
mischief, fun and profit
Intent: to have an addition to your home that will bring goodness and
love and warm snuggly
things.
Why the term good folk, when the main intent of the ritual is to call
faeries?
"Call us what you will and we shall be as so"
Meaning, call us faeries, we WILL be faeries. Call us good folk....well
you get the picture.
As for this working to be a love spell for alternative lifestylers, try
it, it might work, but I mean
faeries in another context.
Long ago and far away, travellers at night dreaded travelling alone when
the moon was full.
Beasties roamed the vast dingly forest, ranging from mad men who fancied
themselves
lycanthropes to the wraiths who mourned alone in the mist. Apparently the
most common of all
the beasties that were part of the collective paradigm of the time were
the faeries. Beneath a
silvery moon they would dance about making merry without a care in the
world, woe betide any
traveller who comes across such a gathering or passes a faerie mound
rousing them from their
sleep. For the faerie would entice the traveller to dance with them with
their enchanted music
where the traveller would dance himself until his heart exploded or he
experienced cerebral
haemmoraging or something exquisitely nasty and internal, to be dead the
next morning. Thats
when faeries are being faeries, so lets try to avoid that for yourself.
INGREDIENTS
Penny you found on the street, the shinier the better
A 6 sided die
Flesh cutting instrument
Sugar Water
Cookie
A small plant, preferably a mushroom, still alive and potted
Wine
Animal meat that you have prepared yourself to be tasty
NOTE: Make sure that the wine is the right wine for the meat
A wild mouse
Three twigs wrapped in twine
A small blanket
PREPARATION
With this ritual, you must find a penny, the shinier the better. Don't
steal it or take it in change,
but look for one on the ground, or in front of a cash register in the
Snickers box, or anywhere.
The simple fact being it must be found, almost by chance (so if your car
is relatively clean and
you find a penny that should work). The element of chance is important.
Take the penny and go to where you want the good folk's presence. Your
backyard, your worst
enemie's backyard, the supermarket, the peep show down the street. Fling
it unto the trees and
shroebberies making it flieth high and fast like a striking player of
rounders, and only into the
trees andye placef of nature for that is where the good folk shall be wont
to find it. Withest thine
greyest of grey matter thunk unto thineself and only be true to thineself
and wish in your heart of
hearts tin man that some poor merry maker doth find it and doth line it's
scurrilious pockets with
the amalgom of copper and zinc.
Roll the die and that many nights later go out and leave sugar water in a
small cup and a cookie
besides where you think the penny landed saying "Took took took, (weird
sucking sound), took
took took" then go back inside without peeking out so the good folk can
eat in peace. Make a
note as to the 1/2 of the number you rolled. The 1/2 the number you
rolled is how many nights
later you should begin the ritual now that you have the good folk's
attention.
Catch a wild mouse and keep it for a few days, tending to the li'l
squeaker like you would tend a
good friend.
Get three twigs from a birch tree, wrap them in new twine nine times
concentrating upon homey
scenes and crackling fireplaces. Find a small blanket, a towel will do
nicely.
Purchase thineself without haggling a playnt thou deemst most appropriate
for the li'l character
you are calling unto yourself.
RITUAL
On the night of the ritual, plant the small plant in your garden, giving
it the name you would give
the good folk that you would have haunt your domicile. Fred is nice, so
is Ashleigh, and so is
Mina and so is Oberon and so is Liberace. "Water" it with wine and tend
it as you would the
other plants in your garden. If you live in the city, allow the plant to
sit on your window sill and do
your best to keep your window open so the good folk can come in easier
than usual.
Again, over the plant, say "Took took took, (strange sucking sound), took
took took, come to me
<sillyname>, took took took" Cut yourself and allow some blood to flow
freely unto the
chlorophyll messiah (or dweller of the realm of fungi depending upon thy
taste and choice)
beneath you.
Make dinner in total silence, avoid meeting your own gaze in your
reflection, for if you do you will
see the good folk coming to the plant and whizzing upon it and that would
turn everything all
poopy. Once dinner is prepared, set up your place setting and a setting
for the good folk. Use
normal sized dinnerware or use giant sized dinnerware or use teensy weensy
dinnerware,
whichever you choose will be right for the good folk.
Eat in silence, making nothing but yummy sounds and belches to entertain
your invisible guest.
Don't clean your place, the little folk may wish to have some of your
scraps.
Repair to your room and fetch the mouse (wild of course, albino mice WILL
NOT survive
outdoors!) in it's tiny cage, the small blanket and the three twigs
wrapped in twine.
Hopefully, your "missing" guest will have partaken of the meal already in
some way shape or
form (make sure kitties aren't around to help smile )
Open the door (or window) and step out to where the plant is. Place the
small blanket beneath
the plant, maybe wrapping it around the base a-la Linus and the tiny
Christmas tree.
"With this may you keep warm <sillymoniker>"
Place the twigs next to the blankie and the plant.
"With this may you build a home <pussylaminouspseudonym>"
Let the mouse free
"Let him be your steed to take you hither and dither and always back home"
"Welcome home <sillynameofthefaerie>"
INDICATIONS
Sure, you just called a faerie, but never refer to him/her as such. Then
him/her will act like a
faerie and that would be bad unless you want the faerie to bother someone
else. Good folk is
the most common term I've come across, spirit would be second but when
they are spirits, they
take on a nastier edge like an overprotective rottweiller with rabies.
Keep them happy or they'll
turn. When they are faeries, they will have this mindset "Oh what a
splendid piece of metal that
smells all oily and of bang bang powder. Whoops, thunder. Oh, the big
fleshy thing that called
me is giving out free drinks of it's blood. How thoughtful. Well, can't
tarry..."
Don't banish! Unless you simply wanted to toy with it's little soulless
emotions and indian give a
home and hearth.
Best if done under a full moon or gibbous moon.
Do not take internally, may cause slight rash on oily skin.
From now on, talk to the little fellow/fellette(fellatio?) off and on so
it won't be bored or feel used.
Make sure the plant that is the "faerie" is tended well and thrives for as
long as the plant thrives
so does the faerie's health. Take note of the nice things that happen
after the faerie takes up
residence. Do you no longer get chain letters? Does the devil lose his
flavor on the bedpost
overnight? Is that pernicious shoe leather made into shoes the next
morning? Does your hair
stay untangled longer? Anything, and thank the li'l elf for the niceness
it brought you.
Aaaaaaawwwww.
To curse someone with a faerie who'll do wacky, amoral things to the
aforementioned person,
use a poisonous plant you picked (make sure it'll die). Serve it dog
plops and muddy water.
Plant the plant in the nasty person's backyard and tear like hell outta
there. Wear a fake mustache so you confuse the faerie.
Ravinessa23 Community Member 
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