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I feel broken.

Defective.

Gah! It is so frustrating! I hate feeling this way. I tried doing the chasing, and I tried doing the waiting.

From this point on I declare that I quit! That's right. I'm quitting the whole "Love" crap. I'm too gullible for that stupid stuff. I will believe anything anyone says anyway. I'm tired of having some false hope. It hurts just to hope that someone will like me. No one ever tries to even attempt to ask me out. Everyone I ever seem to like doesn't like me. I end up chasing the wrong guys! And then the guys who do like me [if there are any] won't even speak up. It is so stupid and unfair! I hate it so much! It makes me cry sometimes.

Is it so much to ask for? I would kinda like a boyfriend. Just some guy who wants to see me and be around me. HAH! Yeah. Maybe it is. Maybe I'm too picky, but I don't see how. I'm really not all that bad. I guess I could be too impatient.

I feel ready to snap inside! Like my emotions are all piling up in my stupid heart and being shut out. Stomped on, smothered, stabbed, proded, and mutilated! It fails. I hate it.

The internet sucks. Even if I happened to like some stupid guy online, what's the point? I'm stuck here. None of these stupid hicks even attempt to like me. I mean really... It's nice to be called "Hot" or "smokin" or "sexy" but what the ******** is the point in it? They won't even give me a ********' chance. They won't say it to me. I have to hear it from others.

I mean...am I intimidating? Is something wrong with me?! I try as much as I can to be nice and friendly at school. I never even fight with anyone! I get along with just about everyone... I mean hell, what more does someone want from me?! It's not like I am gonna beg some stupid p***k to date me and care about me! I'd rather ******** die!

So I'll just give up. Maybe someone will come to me sometime in my life. I highly doubt it at this point. I just don't want to care anymore about it.

I've always been too afraid anyway. To be in a relationship. The idea scares me, while it also makes me happy. It's not commitment issues..it's heart break issues and rejection issues. Afraid they wouldn't like me for me. But that's kinda why I want a boyfriend. So he could like me for me. Tch. I quit anyway, though.

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