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aaaaaaaaaand i'm back to not knowing what to say to the suicidal one *sigh* it seems we're trapped in this loop of my making a suggestion and her shooting it down. it's not that i care if my suggestions help or not, i just wish i didn't find myself compelled to keep making them.

i don't know ... i guess i'll keep trying to shift the conversation. she lost her blade so this could be a good or a bad thing. i see two possibilities a) she finds another one or another way to cope or b) she goes totally insane without it

i'm hoping she finds an alternative, though i'm thinking that's the least likely. probably she'll just find another one or something.

well, i guess there's not much i can do about that.

i didn't make it out to the grave yard after all today, which sucks, but i guess i'll live. i'm thinking of still meeting casey on the bus home, but i don't know *shrug* it's sorta pointless to ride all that way just to ride home again 15 minutes latter.

i'd ask her what her vote is, but she's still at work until after the next bus leaves. ... i guess i could txt her though, then i wouldn't be interrupting and she could respond when able. yeah, that's what i'll do.

actually, no i know what she'll say so never mind. she'll just say i may as well stay at home. we've had several conversations like this and that's what she always says. so i guess i'll stay here and start thinking about dinner.

i got the new birds yesterday, two of them. last night i was worried they wouldn't take to each other, but finally this afternoon they all seem to be settling in and making friends smile

i'm still on the hunt for a wedding present for my sister though. i just can't seem to find the right thing. i have a couple ideas and all, it's just that i can't find something that quit fits the occasion.

maybe i'll hit the mall. hmm should i see if casey wants to go to the mall together after work? she might, but probably she'd rather just come home. i guess i'll call and offer, because if we're going to i need to catch the bus in about 10 minutes.

better go call now, ttyl