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well i've been feeling depressed lately
i dont really know why
i mean Jack hasnt been on but i know its not his fault
i feel
...
sorta guilty that i cant help him
i always want to help him or see him or talk to him on the phone or something
for the past few mall days i keep thinking that maybe today he will be here
i know he wont but you know
try to get your self syked for a mall day
not just that though i've been feeling stupid and unwanted again
my entire ENTIRE math class was fighting over who had to sit next to me and Sammy
my first thought was whatever they can deal
then swiched to RAWR SHUT UP SLUTS
then to how does a whole class not like me
then why would all my friends tell me everyone loves larissa
that wholeday was kinda lame
then i had to sit next to Seth and Tommy
2 doushes that almost everyone hates once they see past there hotness
almost everyone thinks i still like Tommy but i was over him the middle of 7th grade
i mean yeah hes hot but why did i even want to go out with a jerk like him
all they were doing was makeing fun of the not so pretty girls as they walked by
why would they even do that they dont even know htese people
its only worse becasue some of it is sorta funny and i always feel guilty after i talk to ethier of them
im sorta pissed off at life right now too
and Jack
you really need to get someone to help
your dad sucks and i hate him
i dont want you hurt
i always want to cut but i wont because of you
and if you really are sticking to your promise
you wont be
but your dad i cant convine and i just cry
i really am sick of him
and him not letting you be here
and everything!
i such a loser that im crying right now
i really do love you
its even worse though when my friend complains about being lonly
she says to me at least you have someone that loves you
then i say yeah but they cant tell me it
or show me it
or anything
its just words on the computer right now and start crying
she already had a first kiss and a guy who makes sure she doesnt cut
he actully takes the safty pins from her and hugs her
tells her shes pretty and smart and funny
then she runs off crying saying she not loved
i cant stand it how she can even think it
she the right hight weight and everything!
then she says...i hate my self!
now that its almost 2:00 am here im going to sleep
...
or what i hope for is sleep and not my long dreams of what could be
LOVE YA
icrush~<3
 Icrush · Sun Apr 20, 2008 @ 09:56am · 2 Comments |
