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Yeah, I've come to the conclusion (for the 20th time) that I am one ******** son'b***h.

I mean seriously! My mind wanders constantly and at the later points in the evening, they can be either very morbid ventures or far too thought-out. Not only that, but I've actually made my own journal entries that are listed as private so nobody else will see some of my most twisted thoughts. WTF mate? I needs therapies!

For instance this whole 'soul' thing. Junsui mentioned it in her own journal, then Dez, and now I keep trekking back to the same spot.

Do they exist? If they do, what do they look like? And if they are eternal, does that mean that the person I am now will be erased when this body dies and my soul is reborn (or condemned...you know, whichever comes first)? Will I develop a completely different personality afterward or will I actually be the same? OR! Would I make the same mistakes all over again..? Better yet, would there be a 'heaven' or a 'Soul Society'? (Cause, you know, that'd be ********' awesome).

Seriously. Weird. ********. Thoughts.

s**t, I curse a lot, I'm SO going to hell...if there is one.

Also, when I die, am I allowed to wander the earth for a little while? You know, say my goodbyes to my loved ones and get a chance to really let go of it? If I haunt a few people, will points be taken from my license? ...Can souls have licenses?

...Please lemme be a shinigami! *crosses fingers* If not, I'll turn into a hollow and kick they're ********' asses...cuz they're big meanies *rasp*

Seriously though! Is there really an afterlife and what can we do there? Do they have occupations? Like...apocalypse messengers or something? (sign me up! I call dibs on Pestilence!)

Furthermore, since Jun and Dez had gotten into the 'selling' idea, CAN you really sell your soul? If you do, are you damned forever or just stuck with whomever you sold it to? And if they turn out to be nice people, do you get a free trip to heaven with them or do you get dumped at the gates and told to wait in line with the other illegal immigrants?

Can I talk to a professional now? =_=;