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GODDAMN DAVIS MOTOMIYA HERE, AND I AM SO ******** PISSED OFF. GET THIS s**t:

I’M KICKING IT ON THE ******** BEACH, TOTALLY BEING THE HARDCORE ******** THAN I AM, AND I GET THIS MESSAGE FROM MY MAIN b***h KARI (OH GOD HOW HARD I’M GONNA TAP THAT a**). SHE’S ALL “GET YOUR a** TO COLORADO” AND I’M THINKING THIS HAS TO BE SOME SORT OF p***y QUEST OR SOMETHING, LIKE IF I CAN MAKE IT TO COLORADO, I’M GONNA GET SOME ACTION, RIGHT?

WELL, I GET THERE, AND WHAT THE ******** DO I FIND BUT KARI WITH TK (OTHERWISE KNOWN AS FAGIMUS PRIME) AND SOME NEW DOUCHENOZZLE NAMED WILLIS. SO I’M ALL LIKE “WHAT’S WITH THE INVITE TO THE SAUSAGE PARTY, b***h?” AND SHE’S LIKE “WE GOTTA SAVE THE WORLD” OR SOME GAY s**t LIKE THAT. WHATEVER. MAYBE IF I SAVE THE WORLD, THEN I’LL GET SOME TAIL, RIGHT?

SO WE FIND THIS ******** MONSTER THING THAT TOTALLY WANTS TO RAPE US ALL, AND WE’RE FIGHTING IT, AND WE’RE GETTING OUR ASSES HANDED TO US, AND THE THING STARTS BENDING ******** TIME BECAUSE IT’S SO STRONG, AND WE’RE ALL LIKE “WTF IS THIS s**t, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?” BUT THEN SOME GAY ACTION HAPPENS WITH SOMEONE ELSE’S DIGIMON (I DON’T KNOW, I WAS TOO BUSY STARING AT KARI’S a**) AND WE WIN.

HERE’S THE REAL a** BURNER: ALL THIS s**t TURNS OUT TO BE WILLIS’S ******** FAULT BECAUSE HE’S A GODDAMN FAILURE AT BEING SOME KINDA WANNABE 31337 HAXXXX0R f** THAT TRIED TO MAKE HIS OWN DIGIMON AND GOT OWNED BY A VIRUS. ******** RETARD KNOWS HOW TO MAKE A GODDAMN DIGIMON FROM SCRATCH, BUT DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO UPDATE HIS ******** SECURITY s**t?

SO I KICK THE ******** IN THE BALLS, BUT THEN KARI GETS ALL PISSED OFF AT ME, AND NOW THERE’S LIKE NO CHANCE OF ME GETTING ANY ACTION. I’M ABOUT READY TO RAPE VEEMON JUST TO GET SOME PLAY.

TL;DR: WILLIS IS A ******** c**t, KARI IS A b***h, I’M BLUEBALLING, AND I NEED ADVICE.

PS: HEY GARY LOL