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alright, here's how it's ended up.
My computer is slightly less ******** up.
I broke up with Friday because I'm a fool, Exotic. I got scared of people finding out. But then a long talk with a few very, very, very proud lesbians (and two very straight boys whom i love dearly) brought me back to my senses and she forgave me. We're okay now. She keeps insisting that it's alright, but I know that she was really upset.
Her words:
"It's alright... but not really. But it is. I love you. I forgive you."
Basically, I ended a perfect relationship with an amazing girl because I was afraid. But knowing that people can accept me, and that I have a whole group I didn't even know was there backing up the gay students at my school (i know, it's so awesome!), has healed my momentary insanity.
Yeah, secret organization xD haha.
A lot is being done around here, now. To make things more equal and all. We, the "freaks", are going to start flaunting it with all we have. Show how happy we are together. Get it through people's heads. We're trying to strike up some kind of rebellion in the schools, though a peaceful one- our principal/dean/whatever-person is a total homophobe. We're writing her letters about our relationships, trying to make her stand up and put her foot down. Maybe rant a little in an assembly or something. Try to spread awareness- awareness as to how very human we are. (besides, it'd be a golden moment to see this woman flip out about us. i'd laugh so hard...)
Life has turned around, though I'm now failing an entirely different subject- no longer algebra, but earth science, of all the things!
Erm... otherwise... two of my friends have come out to me, and I actually screamed "I'M IN LOVE WITH THE MOST AMAZING GIRL ALIVE!" in the middle of a busy corridor at school. So I'm out xD and one of the twins i spoke of (sam, the one who came out to me finally) freaked out about me being a flaming dyke.
I love it. I am something of a flaming dyke.
I'm just afraid that my father will hear.
Oh! oh! And I finally got my dress! It's gorgeous- though, I lost a little weight since they fitted me so it's kinda loose in places. But still gorgeus, and it fits fine otherwise. I'll try to get pictures on here soon.
I still feel terrible for what i did to Friday >_< she's such a sweet girl. I love her so unbelievably much... I can't believe I broke up with her. It's alright now, I suppose, but I'll never let myself live it down.
Thta's how it's been since my last update. You see, I broke up with her for no good reason. I was just being an idiot. I was getting tired of all the negative attention we were getting, but now the negative attention makes me laugh.
You realize that I've never had a girlfriend before. It's paranoia. Whenever I go out somewhere with her I just imagine someone being there and the whole school would find out. But I sort of don't care about that anymore and I promote it, in fact- allowing my friends to write gay pride slogans on my shoes and discussing our relationships and such openly with them. I've gotten over my fears, and now I might actually be able to be with Friday without caring about what my father makes of it.
PS: after frightening bills from the hospital and numerous procedures, my mom's back. and i think she knows about me. she says things like "why don't you take friday someplace nice tonight" or "you and fri can live together in the city when you're older." so yeah.
she loves friday though. it's cute. she thinks she's pale as a ghost. personally i don't see it.
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