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Would Keiko Sell Her Friends?
Keiko: Friend for sale! Selling a friend!!
Ritsuko: Huh, what are you talking about?
Jiraiya: I’ll buy them! *Hands over money*
Keiko: Sweet! Here! *Shoves Ritsuko towards Jiraiya*
Ritsuko: What the hell!?!?
Keiko: Heh… *Runs away quickly*

Would Keiko Jump Off A Building For The Thrill?
Ritsuko: *Looking up* Keiko! What the HELL are you doing??
Keiko: Watch out!
Ritsuko: No. Tell me what you’re doing!
Keiko: Dammit! Move or I’ll land out you!!
Ritsuko: *Moves to the side* Arguing with you is like arguing with a rock.
Keiko: Here I go!! *Jumps off the building*
Ritsuko: *Walking up to Keiko* Okay, did you get that out of your system?
Keiko: Nope! *Runs to get on top of the building again*

Would Keiko pretend to be in a homosexual relationship with Ritsuko (though they're actually straight) as a joke/prank?
Keiko: Here comes my Dad. Quick! Act like my girlfriend!
Ritsuko: Fine, just this once…
Keiko: So, baby, wanna get together tonight?
Jiraiya: *Walking up*
Ritsuko: *Acting like Jiraiya’s not there* Why wait, let’s do it now.
Keiko: *Also ignoring Jiraiya* Alright. *Starts to, uh, kiss Ritsuko*
Jiraiya: *Nosebleed*
Keiko: *Looking at Jiraiya* You are a pervert!! *Chases after him*

Would Keiko Ever Give Their Creator A Headache?
Keiko: Hey Pervy!!
Pervy: What?
Keiko: So, what are you going to do with me?
Pervy: What do you mean?
Keiko: I mean, are you ever going to write the fanfiction??
Pervy: I will.
Keiko: When? I need to know how my life is going to go!
Pervy: Soon.
Keiko: Wha—That tells me nothing!!
Pervy: So…
Keiko: Come on!! Tell me a little on what’s going to happen!!
Pervy: FINE!! *Getting a headache* You are a happy person. Soon, you start an sexual relationship with Jiraiya, Tsunade gets angry at you and kills you.
Keiko: What the hell?
Pervy: Now, go away!

Would Keiko Spike The Punch At A Christmas Party?
Keiko: Hey. Ritsuko. Guess what I have...
Ritsuko: What are you up too now?
Keiko: Come with me!
Ritsuko: Okay....
*They head over to the punch bowl*
Keiko: Keep a lookout. *Pull out a bottle of sake*
Ritsuko: Wha--? What do you plan to do with that??
Keiko: *Pours sake into the punch and quickly walks away*
Ritsuko: You are SO gonna get caught...

Would Keiko Get So Drunk, That She Couldn’t Walk?
Keiko: Hey, good lookin’. *Hic* What’s you doing? *Falls down*
Tsunade: What did you get into?
Keiko: *Laying on the ground* But lovely, that’s not what you said last night! *hic*
Tsunade: *Crouching down* Are you okay?
Keiko: *Hic* Have we met? You’re a pretty lady. *Hic* Hmm, yes, a very pretty lady.
Tsunade: Keiko, get up. You’re going to go to bed and sleep this off.
Keiko: *Still on the ground* Why yes! *Hic* KFC sounds great. Let’s send one of your maids out to get us some! *Hic* Make her wear a pink maid’s outfit! With little bows! *Hic*
Tsunade: This is why you’re not allowed to have sake. *Picks Keiko up*
Keiko: My lovely lady! *Hic* You have some big love pillows! May I touch them? *Hic*
Tsunade: *Glares* Yeah, you’re gong straight to bed.

Would Keiko Fall In Love With A ‘Physically Challenged’ Person?
Keiko: *Sighs happily* He’s so cute.
Ritsuko: Huh, who?
Keiko: Oh, you know…
Ritsuko: No. I don’t know. Who?
Keiko: Rock Lee…
Ritsuko: WHO??
Keiko: Yeah, Rock Lee. He’s really cute…
Ritsuko: Uh, no he’s not. And he can only use ninjutsu. How can you love someone like that??
Keiko: Oh, you’re just jealous.
Ritsuko: Sure…

Would Keiko Set A Building On Fire?
Jiraiya: *Dragging Keiko to a burnt down shack* Tell me what this is!
Keiko: Uh, a brunt down building?
Jiraiya: Yes. And where you last night?
Keiko: At Ritsuko’s?
Jiraiya: No you weren’t. She came looking for you last night.
Keiko: I was at, uh, I was, um…
Jiraiya: I’ll give you this one chance to tell the truth. Did you burn this building down?
Keiko: *Looking at the ground* Yes…

Would Keiko Fake Her Own Kidnapping To See How Much Money She’ll Get?
Jiraiya: *Runs into Tsunade’s office* Tsunade!! I need your help!! Now!
Tsunade: Jiraiya, calm down. What is it?
Jiraiya: Keiko’s been kidnapped! Here look!! *Hands Tsunade a note*
Tsunade: *Reading the note* It’s a bluff.
Jiraiya: What? What do you mean? Keiko’s been kidnapped! Aren’t you even worried??
Tsunade: No, I’m not.
Jiraiya: But, you’re her mother!!
Tsunade: JIRAIYA! What did I say about you bringing that up! She doesn’t need to know that.
Jiraiya: But… But….
Tsunade: Fine. I’ll go “pay” the ransom.
Jiraiya: Thank you!! I owe you one!!
Tsunade: Yeah, whatever. Just don’t tell Keiko who she’s related to. EVER!
<Later That Day>
Tsunade: Okay! I’m here to pay the ransom!
Keiko: *Watching Tsunade* Why did she come and not my Dad?
Tsunade: Come on! I don’t have all day!!
Keiko: *Walking out* What are you doing here?
Tsunade: *Grabs Keiko* Come on! You get to explain that this ransom note is a fake.
Keiko: Grr, where’s my money??
Tsunade: There isn’t any.
Keiko: Wha--?
Tsunade: Hey! You’re lucky I didn’t kill you for pulling a stunt like this!
Keiko: Grr…

Would Keiko Slap A Girl?
Ritsuko: Hey Keiko!!
Keiko: What?
Ritsuko: Guess what I did!!
Keiko: What did you do?
Ritsuko: I told Lee that you liked him!
Keiko: What?? *Slaps Ritsuko* Why??
Ritsuko: Geez, I was kidding. I didn’t think you’d hit me!!
Keiko: I’ll do more than that in a minute!!
Ritsuko: Uh-oh! *Runs away*
Keiko: Get back here!! *Runs after Ritsuko*

Would Keiko Ever Run Into A Wall?
Tsunade: Keiko!! Get back here!
Keiko: Crap! I’m dead! *Runs away*
Tsunade: Hey! Come here!! *Runs after Keiko*
Keiko: Man she’s fast… *Runs into a wall and falls down*
Tsunade: *Running up* What did you do now?
Keiko: I ran into a wall!!
Tsunade: Did that teach you anything?
Keiko: *Getting up and running off again* Nope!!
Tsunade: *Smiling* She never learns. *Runs after Keiko again*

Would Keiko Eat Yellow Snow By Accident?
Ritsuko: Hey Keiko!!!
Keiko: Huh, what? *Sees Ritsuko sledding twords her*
Ritsuko: WATCH OUT!! *Slams into Keiko*
Keiko: Grr... *Spits out snow* What was that for?
Ritsuko: Um, Keiko, uh, did you see what you landed in?
Keiko: No! Why? *Looks down and sees yellow snow* Wha-- WHY?? *Starts to spit everywhere*

Would Keiko Kill For Show Tickets?
Keiko: OMG!! Icha Icha Paradise is in theaters!!
Ritsuko: Yeah, so...
Keiko: I would kill to get a ticket to go see it!!!
Ritsuko: Pervert...

Would Keiko Hide In a Trashcan Just To Surprise Someone?
Keiko: *Hiding in a trashcan* Wait for it, wait for it...
Jiraiya: *Walking by*
Keiko: *Jumping out of the trashcan* FOUND YOU!!
Jiraiya: WTF!!! *Runs off*
Keiko: That was SO worth it!!

Would Keiko down a bottle of sake for a bet?
Ritsuko: *Sets out a bottle of sake* Keiko, if you can down this bottle of sake, I’ll give you $100.
Keiko: Alright! Piece of cake! *Grabs bottle of sake*
Tsunade: Don’t you dare!! Keiko, put that down!!
Keiko: Make me *Downs bottle of sake*
Tsunade: Keiko! What did I say?? *Grabs Keiko roughly*
Keiko: Hey! Can’t I have a little fun??
Tsunade: No you can’t!!
Ritsuko: *Slowly sneaking away*
Keiko: You have no authority over me! Put me down!!
Tsunade: Keiko, don’t argue with me! You know you’re not supposed to drink alcohol!! Quit trying to get away! I won’t let you go!!
Keiko: I hate you so much! You’re not my mother! Quit acting like you are!! The only person who has any authority over me is Jiraiya, and he’s always off “researching”!!
Tsunade: *Doesn’t know what to say*

Would Keiko Eat So Much She Got Sick From It?
Keiko: *Throwing up in the bathroom*
Tsunade: Hmm, Keiko are you okay?
Keiko: Yeah, I’m just not feeling well…
Tsunade: Can I come in?
Keiko: Yeah, if you want. Aw crap! *Pukes again*
Tsunade: *Feels Keiko’s forehead* You don’t have a fever but you’re sweating pretty bad.
Keiko: I know. *Pukes again*
Tsunade: *Holds Keiko* Why aren’t you feeling well?
Keiko: I got all you can eat ramen. I guess I ate too much…
Tsunade: *Still holding Keiko* I think you did.
Keiko: *Pukes again*
Tsunade: I’m going to stay in here until you’re done, uh, throwing up.
Keiko: Yeah, whatever. *Collapses in Tsunade’s arms*

Would Keiko Eat A 6 Lbs Bar Of Chocolate?
Keiko: Chocolate!!
Tsunade: Don’t, even think about it!
Keiko: Huh, why?
Tsunade: You just got over being sick from the ramen. I don’t need you sick on chocolate now!
Keiko: But…
Tsunade: You can have it later. In little bits. Not the whole thing.
Keiko: Aww, fine.
Tsunade: *Smiles and rubs Keiko’s hair*

Would Keiko Ever Play Strip Poker?
Keiko: Ha! I win again!
Jiraiya: And I came in second…
Tsunade: *Glaring at Jiraiya and Keiko*
Jiraiya: Okay, off with the shirt!
Tsunade: No!
Jiraiya: But you lost. It’s the rules! Now lose the shirt!!
Tsunade: Fine!! *Takes off shirt*
Keiko: *Looking at the ground* Remind me on why I’m playing this with you guys?
Jiraiya: Because we need three players.
Keiko: Whatever… *Deals a new hand*
<Few minutes later>
Keiko: I won again!
Tsunade: *Smirking at Jiraiya*
Jiraiya: Aw, come on! *Has a losing hand*
Tsunade: Alright big boy! Your turn. Take off your boxers!
Keiko: What?? No!!
Jiraiya: Okay. *Takes off boxers*
Keiko: I’m surrounded by perverts! Put your clothes back on!! (She’s the only one with all their clothes on) It’s wrong!!
Jiraiya: Why?
Keiko: Just put your clothes back on!! *Runs out of the room*


Would Keiko Chase Butterflies?
Ritsuko: Man, Tsunade’s really been on you these past few days.
Keiko: I know. It’s really annoying.
Ritsuko: What do you think goings on?
Keiko: I’m not sure. I don’t think I even want to know.
*A Butterfly flies by*
Ritsuko: If something was up, I would want to know what’s going on. Keiko, are you even listening to me?
Keiko: Come back here you pretty butterfly… *Follows butterfly*
Ritsuko: You have a really bad case of ADD don’t you? *Follows Keiko*
Keiko: You are a very pretty butterfly….

Would Keiko Drink Illegally?
Keiko: Hmm, why is this bottle of sake out in the open, with no one else around?
Tsunade: *Thinking* If you even reach for that bottle, you’re dead. You know you’re not allowed to drink!
Keiko: Hmm, something’s up. Just grabbing this bottle and taking off would be to easy.
Tsunade: *Thinking* Just grab the sake!
Keiko: Hmm, yeah, not worth it… *Walks out of the room*
Tsunade: *Thinking* She didn’t grab the sake??? Why?? She usually goes for it!!
Keiko: *Laughing* Yeah, that was too easy!
Tsunade: *Goes over to Keiko* What was to easy? *Sees a different bottle of sake in Keiko’s hand* HOW’D YOU GET THAT??
Keiko: Uh-oh! *Runs off*

Would Keiko Ever Go To The Hot Springs?
Keiko: Hey Tsunade, where is my Dad?
Tsunade: At the hot springs probably. Why do you ask?
Keiko: I just need him for something. Thanks…
<At the hot springs>
Jiraiya: All the ladies are really hot!! This will be great for my research!!
Keiko: HEY DAD! *Pounces*
Jiraiya: Gah! Keiko! What are you doing here!
Keiko: Mmm, looking for you.
Jiraiya: Wha—Why?
Keiko: Because…
Jiraiya: Keiko, I’m in the middle of researching! You know that I don’t like being interrupted.
Keiko: But, you’re not researching. You’re just peeking at the women in the bath.
Jiraiya: No I’m NOT! I’m doing research. For a book!
Keiko: NO YOU’RE NOT!! YOU’RE JUST A PERVERT WHO LIKES LOOKING AT NAKED WOMEN IN THE BATH!!
Random Woman: You’re doing what?? *Slaps Jiraiya* Pervert!
Jiraiya: KEIKO!! GET BACK HERE!!
Keiko: Uh-oh… *Runs back to Tsunade’s office*

Would Keiko Ever Hit Someone With A Frying Pan?
Keiko: Dad, get up!
Jiraiya: Mmp, Keiko, go back to bed.
Keiko: Dad, you promised!
Jiraiya: Mmm, Keiko, give me five more minutes.
Keiko: That’s what you said 5 MINUTES AGO!!
Jiraiya: *Snoring*
Keiko: I SAID GET UP!! *Whacks Jiraiya with a frying pan*
Jiraiya: Alright! I’m up!!

Would Keiko Refuse To Take A Shower For A Week?
Keiko: *Walking through Tsunade’s office*
Tsunade: Keiko! You reek! When was the last time you took a shower??
Keiko: A week ago. Why?
Tsunade: Come here!
Keiko: Err, okay…
Tsunade: *Grabs Keiko: You’re taking a shower even though it means I have to take it with you!
Keiko: Huh, wha--? That’s jut wrong!! You sicko!
Tsunade: *Still has a good grip on Keiko* Are you going to take a shower?
Keiko: No I’m not! I have a right not too!!
Tsunade: Alright I gave you a chance… *Drags Keiko off to the shower*

Would Keiko Wake Up In The Middle Of The Night And Not Be Able To Go Back To Sleep?
Keiko: *Whining* Dad…
Jiraiya: *Still half-asleep* What is it?
Keiko: I can’t sleep!
Jiraiya: Yes, you can. Just go back to bed.
Keiko: But Dad!
Jiraiya: How much coffee did you have today?
Keiko: Um, about five cups….
Jiraiya: Are you sure you can’t sleep?
Keiko: Yeah, I woke up at 1:00 AM and now it’s 3:00 AM!!!
Jiraiya: If I allowed you to stay in my bed, will you shut up?
Keiko: *Dives into Jiraiya’s bed* Yeah…
Jiraiya: Geez, you’re a handful….

Would Keiko Moon Jiraiya?
Keiko: Hey Dad…
Jiraiya: Yeah, what do you want?
Keiko: *Moon*
Jiraiya: Come here!!
Keiko: *Runs away from Jiraiya*

Would Keiko Go Up To Someone And Randomly Kiss Them?
Keiko: *Slowly walking up to Lee* Um, Lee?
Rock Lee: What is it Keiko?
Keiko: I um, *Kisses Lee and runs off*
Lee: Hmm, what was that about?
Might Guy: Lee! I think someone has a crush on you! *Grins and thumbs up*

Would Keiko Eat A Peanut Butter, Cheese, and Meatball Sandwich?
Tsunade: What are you eating?
Keiko: A peanut butter, cheese, and meatball sandwich!
Tsunade: That’s gross! Did Jiraiya leave you alone again, without making you anything to eat?
Keiko: Yeah, but this is fine!
Tsunade: No it’s not! Can you even cook?
Keiko: No. I burn the food every time I try to cook.
Tsunade: *Grabbing her coat* Come on. I’ll take you to get some ramen.
Keiko: Are you serious??
Tsunade: Yeah, now do you want ramen or not?
Keiko: Yeah!! *Runs out the door before Tsunade does* Come on!!

Would Keiko Wear Footsy Pajamas?
Tsunade: Keiko, I got you something…
Keiko: What is it?
Tsunade: Here. *Hands Keiko a bag*
Keiko: What the hell? I’ll never wear these!!
Tsunade: Just take them. Alright!!
Keiko: *Mumbling* Fine…
<Later That Night>
Tsunade: *Checking on Keiko while she’s sleeping* I guess she did wear those pajamas.
Keiko: *Sleeping in footsy pajamas*

Would Keiko Go Skinny Dipping With Jiraiya?
Jiraiya: Ah. This is peaceful. Tsunade isn’t nagging at me and Keiko isn’t here to cause trouble.
Keiko: CANNONBALL!!
Jiraiya: How’d the hell you find me??
Keiko: I just did.
Jiraiya: Are you naked?
Keiko: Yeah. So? *Dives underwater*
Jiraiya: Why me? (Is naked also)
Keiko: *Coming up for air* Hey Dad. I figured out why you can’t get a woman!
Jiraiya: YOU PERVERT!!

Would Keiko Get So Drunk, That She Couldn’t Walk?
Keiko: Hey, good lookin’. *Hic* What’s you doing? *Falls down*
Tsunade: What did you get into?
Keiko: *Laying on the ground* But lovely, that’s not what you said last night! *hic*
Tsunade: *Crouching down* Are you okay?
Keiko: *Hic* Have we met? You’re a pretty lady. *Hic* Hmm, yes, a very pretty lady.
Tsunade: Keiko, get up. You’re going to go to bed and sleep this off.
Keiko: *Still on the ground* Why yes! *Hic* KFC sounds great. Let’s send one of your maids out to get us some! *Hic* Make her wear a pink maid’s outfit! With little bows! *Hic*
Tsunade: This is why you’re not allowed to have sake. *Picks Keiko up*
Keiko: My lovely lady! *Hic* You have some big love pillows! May I touch them? *Hic*
Tsunade: *Glares* Yeah, you’re gong straight to bed.


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