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So. My hamster Buttercup, died afew days ago. I was kind of expecting it. She was getting old and I have less time for her, being in school and theatre. My mom often asked me, when she was mentioned "Do you think you love her?" I said yes. But often in the back of my head I wondered "Do I really or is it just a bluff?" I mean, my first hamster (gerbil actually) was gotten back when I was around eight. Then I've had others ever since. But eventually the care for them gets tedious. Som maybe it seemed like the care turned to chores so I seemed annoyed with the hamsters.

I never would have thought this way when I was a child. I was very pure when it came to animals. I loved them all and thought they all deserved love and a good home and life.
Becoming a teenager I miss that purity in my childhood being so caring and sweet and I pray that I am not losing that quality. But so many distractions come as you get older and sways your mind.

But when buttercup died, I thought I would just be like "whatever"
But I held back tears.Luckily she didn't die of lack of care on my part. She looked like she had gone in her sleep. Still, I was trying not to cry at the thought of my poor little hamster being gone.
I prayed for her that night as well.

I guess even if it takes something unfortunate to make you realize it,
Maybe you never really loose that innocence.

RIP
Buttercup.