Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

My mom still doesn't accept the fact that I might be bi. I am believing I am bi cause like I do find myself attracted to this girl name Lillie. But she has a boyfriend so whatever I guess. Last night she was down and I tried my best to been there for her. We were in Starbucks when my mom called me to leave. My mom was suppose to be around the corner. So when we left Starbucks I put my arm around her waist to ler her know that I am there for her if she needs me. After all, I am her friend and friends are suppose to be there for each other. Well my mom wasn't around the corner, she was down the street and she saw that I had my arm around her. So today my mom and I got inot an arguement cause the house is a mess. Then she said to me,"You want to know why I am really mad, it's because you had your arm around that girls waist." WHAT THE HELL! I thought we were pass that, I guess not........I wasn't doing it because of any feelings. I felt bad for her so I tried to comfort her. She thought I was "showing off". I wasn't and I am tired of trying to talk to her. On friday she told me that she wasn't suppose to have me, she told me that she did coke(the drug) when she was pregnant with me. She didn't say it in a bad way, but it still hurts. Now I think that maybe she shouldn't have me. Then I wouldn't feel this way and I wouldn't be anything. I won't exist. I was so depress I cried at my job, in front of my boss. I don't like to cry in front of people. But I couldn't hold it in. My mom doesn't accept. Out of all the things that couldn't have happen, I wouldn't have never expect this to happen. Not ever........... I want to move, as soon as I turn 18........even if I have to work two jobs. I will move out. I will find a roommate too. That might make it easier.
Well that's all for now, ttyl.