That's the only word I can really use to describe my current mood. Neurotic is even more accurate, if you ask me.
To move, or not to move. That is the question. A rather daunting question, really. I've lost sleep over it. I've cried a thousand tears over it. And now, I can't really eat because of it, because stress is taking a toll on my body. I've felt so incredibly sick these last few days... And it's not relenting.
Even now I feel my insides churning... I don't think I've ever been so torn before. I have everything to gain, but just as much to lose. Sacrifice this gossamer web of reality, this cold comfort compounded, this life that I have made... All for a firm foundation that many children are blessed with, and many more cursed to be without? How could I choose? What should I choose? Would it be easier had I not met my boyfriend, the one person that I clicked with so easily... Never before could I guess that my heart would meet another in such fashion... Now I'm incredibly afraid to lose it.
I can't think clearly... I feel so weak... I finally ate and that only seemed to have a negative affect on me... However am I to survive these weeks to come?
To move, or not to move. That is the question. A rather daunting question, really. I've lost sleep over it. I've cried a thousand tears over it. And now, I can't really eat because of it, because stress is taking a toll on my body. I've felt so incredibly sick these last few days... And it's not relenting.
Even now I feel my insides churning... I don't think I've ever been so torn before. I have everything to gain, but just as much to lose. Sacrifice this gossamer web of reality, this cold comfort compounded, this life that I have made... All for a firm foundation that many children are blessed with, and many more cursed to be without? How could I choose? What should I choose? Would it be easier had I not met my boyfriend, the one person that I clicked with so easily... Never before could I guess that my heart would meet another in such fashion... Now I'm incredibly afraid to lose it.
I can't think clearly... I feel so weak... I finally ate and that only seemed to have a negative affect on me... However am I to survive these weeks to come?
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