Jayne: "Are you...are you sayin' she's a witch?"
Wash: "Yes Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the beast."
Jayne: "She's in congress?"
Wash: "How did your brain ever learn human speech? I'm just so curious."

Jayne: (Mock reading Simon's journal) "Dear diary...today i was pompous and my sister was crazy." (flips page) "Today we were kidnapped by hillfolk never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."

Kaylee: "Hey there, Inara. How was your checkup?"
Inara: "same as last year. What's going on?"
Kaylee: (cheerfully) "Oh well let's see...we killed Simon and River, stole a bunch of medicine, and the Cap'n and Zoe are springin' the others got snatched by the feds."

Jayne: "You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain i go get and beat you with 'til you understand who's in ruttin' command here!"

Jayne: "You got the...light...from the console...lifting you up...just like...little...angels..."

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Catherine: "It's raining man juice?!"
Sara: "Halleluja?"

Grissom: "Do you believe that intelligent life exists on other planets?"
Sara: "I'm not sure there's intelligent life on this planet..."

Catherine: "I like hairy men, but I'm not about to bop a six foot weasel."

Sara: "The only reason this is 'your' lab is because Grissom doesn't kiss-a**. You couldn't hack it in the field so you fail your way up, you break up our team, and now you just hang out in the hallways waiting for one of us to screw up!"

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Gabrielle: "Three hours, Joxer! I waited for you for three hours with a bunch of drunken, horny half wits. I've been grabbed more times than the golden fleece!".

Joxer: "It's me, Joxer!"
Autolycus: "How can i be sure?"
Joxer: "I'm hanging from the wall by my underwear!"

Ares: "I never knew you were looking for a father"
Xena: "I'm not"
Ares: "Well someone clearly has the job"
Xena: "Yeah, Gabrielle"
[Gabrielle smirks]
Ares: "I would have *paid* to see that..."

Joxer: "Joxer the Mighty
Roams through the countryside
He never needs a place to hide
With Gabby as his sidekick
Fighting with her little stick
Righting wrongs and singing songs
Being mighty all day long
He's Joxer—he's Joxer the Mighty!
Oohhhhhh—
He's Joxer the Mighty
He's really tidy
Everybody likes him
'Cause he has a funny grin
Joxer—
Joxer the Mighty!"

Xena: "No, no, yes, no, I tried that, yes--both ways, no, I don't know, no again. Are there anymore questions? Good!"

Aphrodite: "Could you be anymore clumsy? This is, like, a brand new antique."

Guard: "Virgins only."
Gabrielle: "Is it written on my forehead?!"

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Xaldin: "...So."
Xaldin: "Remember when you put that hank... I mean Larxene's panties on your head?
Xigbar: [reading newspaper] "Yeah"
Xaldin: "And you called us bitches?"
Xigbar: "Mmmhmm"
Xaldin: "Yeah. You know, you'd so be my b***h, if i was gay."
Xigbar: [Stares at Xaldin over his paper] "What?"
Xaldin: "You heard me...b***h.
Xigbar: "You've gotta be kidding me, fuzzface! I could totally put you over this table and have my way with you, right now!
Xaldin: "Oh really?"
Xigbar: "Damn right!"
Xaldin: "Bullshit!"
Xaldin: "you're so weak Twiggy! You wouldn't have a chance!" [Tackles Xigbar to the floor]
Xigbar: "Oh yeah!? Well you're so damn slow, Medusa, i'd be behind you before you even knew what was going on!"
Xaldin: [Pins Xigbar on the floor] "Slow! Why you little..."
Xigbar: "Um...we have company."
Roxas: "OH MY GOD, IT'S TRUE!" [Runs off]
Xaldin: "..."
Xigbar: "..."
Xaldin: "Wait...what's true?"
Xigbar: "I don't kn..."
[Xaldin and Xigbar look horrified]

I won't put the whole song, just the bits i like and are meaningful to me.

"Forgive me for i don't know what i gain,
alone in this garden of pain.
Enchantment has but one truth,
I weep to have what i fear to lose".
Gethsemane by Nightwish

"Armies have conquered and fallen in the end
Kingdoms have risen then buried by sand
The Earth is our mother, she gives and she takes
She puts us to sleep, in her light we'll awake."
Neverending Story by Within Temptation

"All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drown by your thoughless scheming
So, you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming."
Thoughtless by Korn

"Over and over
I felt so small
But one day i'll be stronger
And you'd better watch out."
Overcome by Within Temptation

"I don't need you any more
I don't want to be ignored
I don't need one more day
Of you wasting me away"
Don't Stay by Linkin Park

"It's in your eyes, what's on your mind?
I see the truth that you've buried inside
It's in your eyes, what's on your mind?
There's no mercy, just anger i find."
A Dangerous Mind by Within Temptation

"I will never know myself until i do this on my own
I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything 'til i break away from me
I will break away, i'll find myself today"
Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park

"Hold down your head now
Just let me pass by
Don't feed my fear
If you don't want it out."
It's The Fear by Within Temptation

"I lay, looking at my hands
I search in these lines
I've not the answer"
Falling Again by Lacuna Coil

"It's so easy to destroy and condemn
The ones you do not understand
Do you ever wonder if it's justified?"
Destroyed by Within Temptation

"You told i had the eyes of a wolf
Search them and find the beauty of the beast."
Beauty of the Beast by Nightwish

"Still i'll be the hand that serves you
Though you'll not see that it is me."
Hand Of Sorrow by Within Temptation

"In the white freeze, i never spoke of tears
Or opened up to anyone including myself
I would like to find a way to open to you
Been a while, don't know if i remember how to."
Stray by Steve Conte

"Tried to give you warning
But everyone ignores me
Told you everything loud and clear
But nobody's listening
Called to you so clearly
But you don't want to hear me
Told you everything load and clear
But nobody's listening"
Nobody's Listening by Linkin Park

"With a smile i watched you go
You'll never know i didn't cry"
Cold by Lacuna Coil

Lady Heather: "It's when i don't hear screams that i begin to worry"

Sara: "So you've never paid for sex?"
Grissom: "I have not. I find the whole idea very bleak."
Sara: "Really? How Come?"
Grissom: "Sex should provide the opportunity for human connection. Paid sex does the opposite of that; to me sex without love is pointless, it makes you sad."
Sara: "Well, I'm pretty sure I don't make you sad."
Grissom: "No, you make me happy."

Greg: "You know, most dogs have 42 teeth but, as you've discovered, your Cujo only has 41. Woof-woof."
Grissom: "Did you ever hear a dog say "woof-woof", Greg?"
[Greg shrugs his shoulders]
Grissom: "I mean, what is the origin of that? And what do we sound like to them, I wonder?"
Greg: "I don't know, probably blah, blah, blah."
Grissom: "Did you come here with some particular "blah, blah, blah" for me?"

Sara: "I got crabs."
Grissom: "I beg your pardon...?"
Sara: "I said I got crabs."
Grissom: "WHAT?"
Sara: "The fabric... There is some sort of insect that looks like a... umh...a ..."
Grissom: "It looks like a crab?"
Sara: "Yeah."

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Ares: "What in the name of... well, me, do you think you're doing?"

Gabrielle: "It's not like your breasts aren't dangerous enough already."

Meg: "The name's Xena; that's Xena with a capital Z"
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Sheperd Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater"

Zoe: "Sir, i think you have a problem with your brain being missing!"

Wash: "Oh my god! What can it be? We're all doomed! Who's FLYING this thing?! Oh right, that would be me. Uh, back to work."

Wash: "Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a ninety-pound girl, 'cause I don't think that's ever gettin' old."

Mal: "She was all naked and... articulate"

Jayne: "I'll kill a man in a fair fight, or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight, if he bothers me, or if there's a woman. Or if I'm gettin' paid. Mostly only when I'm gettin' paid"

Wash: "Here lies my beloved Zoë, my autumn flower… somewhat less attractive now that she's all corpsified and gross-"

Mal: "You are going to be cleaning out latrines with your face if you don't cut that out."

Simon: "Enemies? You? No, how can it be?"
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