About

*sigh* I wana hold you in my arms,.. Kiss away all your tears,.. Fight away all your worries and break your fears.

What should i say to you? There are a great many things that i could try to explain, but there are two many differences between the way that I speak and the way that you think. I would have you understand my life, but in the same instance there truly is no reason for me to go to that much trouble. As you would take the five or ten minuets to consider my existence then vanish into thin air.
Allow me to explain why my photo has not appeared in my profile. It has not for the simple fact that my own image is one that is not of any value to my self or to others. I am not who I appear to be, nor what I appear to be. There for I will no post any images of my self. The reactions to my photos are always negative. If you truly wish to see me you will have to win my trust and my respect.

Now that we have that out of the way I suggest that you take the time to get to know who I am before you decide to judge me. I am of all things honest and blunt. If you ask me a question you will get my unfiltered and honest opinion. Nothing else, just my opinion. Meaning that I will tell you what I believe to be true. Weather or not it is correct is up to you. I don’t take to much stock in what other people have to say. Unless of course they have given me reason to do so. For instance I have meet a great many people that I look kindly upon, however I do not listen when they talk. I do not care for there words. But then what reason do you have to care when I talk?

Very little I am sure.

Were did my life start? I think that when, is a much more appropriate word then were. My life did not truly start until a few years ago. When I left what I thought to be my home and what I thought was my life. I was living in hell, so to say. I have been told that I was a very old soul for only being 18 years old; I am wise and strong willed. I know how to do things and how to survive in the terrain of hell. I was once told by an old friend that those of us that live to endure pain are doing so because we have done it before that we are strong enough to take the wait of the world in a wise way. That we may endure it only as a test. I have seen first hand what the world dose to people, I have watched people that I loved die in my arms. I have watched people I know die around me slowly until I was alone and the feelings that you are left with are very cold. I learned from loving people that it is best if you simply do not do it. Investing the love in your heart into the life of another person will only let you fall, colder then before onto a harder realization that you are not strong enough to deal with it.

I could go on and on about what I have done in my life things that I have accomplished and places that I have seen, but you wouldn’t listen. There truly is no point. I think that by me telling you about all that would simply place a negative value upon my head. I think that trying to sell you the idea that I lived in some foreign country for years of my life would prove to be meaningless. I do think however that explaining the way that I think and feel to you would make a difference.

Take a Look From My Point of View

The way that I have always looked at the world has always changed. People, Plants, Animals, even land evolves and changes. My thoughts do as well. The way that I think seems to change when ever I incorporate some new item of knowledge. However there are feelings tied to old thoughts and events in my own mind. Something’s like songs will bring back a memory of a time I shared with a lover. The way that I felt, in the arms of my boyfriend before he died. The way that I smell reminds you of food, and the fact that it is time to eat. I see the world changing. I see the end of my life as thought it were just another stepping stone. Something to spend sometime working on until I figure out what is really happening around me. The world has never been a factor of life. At least not for me. In my time hear, and all the places that I have been. I have been happy at times and then had the happiness torn from my grasp. I have walked in the shoes of others and taken my judgment from others.

When I looked at what life meant to me I realized that there was little that I cared about in the world. I realized that I was hurting others with my very presence that I was looking for the light in the dark and killing others with my intentions. I realized that there is no right nor wrong, only truth. If you really want to know how I feel, how I think, and how I see. Then stand at the foot of the grave of someone you loved with all your heart and soul and ask them why they died and you cant take there place.