About
A Little Bit About Natalie Renee
Name: Natalie (Nattii) Renee
Age at Death: 13
Died of: Leukemia (A Type of Cancer, Acute lymphocytic leukemia (ALL))
Date & Time of Death: Feb. 18th 9:42pm 2012
A Little Bit About Leukemia: Leukemia is a type of cancer that causes the body to make too many white blood cells, causing a breakdown of the body's immune system. This uncontrolled production doesn't give these cells a chance to properly mature. The immature cells either won't function well or will interfere with the production of other white blood cells. Normally, these cells play an important role in the body's natural defence system. They target and destroy foreign invaders like viruses and bacteria. White blood cells are made in the marrow (the spongy core) of your bones. Without healthy and functioning white blood cells, the body is at risk of developing severe and sometimes fatal infections. Acute leukemia develops within days to weeks, and large numbers of immature cells called "blasts" build up. These cells can't function as well as normal white blood cells, so people with acute leukemia are at a higher risk of infection. Because the body is so busy producing "blasts," it can't make as many red blood cells or platelets, which can cause anemia and bleeding disorders. (copied from Leukemia - Causes, Symptoms, Treatment, Diagnosis)
Name: Natalie (Nattii) Renee
Age at Death: 13
Died of: Leukemia (A Type of Cancer, Acute lymphocytic leukemia (ALL))
Date & Time of Death: Feb. 18th 9:42pm 2012
A Little Bit About Leukemia: Leukemia is a type of cancer that causes the body to make too many white blood cells, causing a breakdown of the body's immune system. This uncontrolled production doesn't give these cells a chance to properly mature. The immature cells either won't function well or will interfere with the production of other white blood cells. Normally, these cells play an important role in the body's natural defence system. They target and destroy foreign invaders like viruses and bacteria. White blood cells are made in the marrow (the spongy core) of your bones. Without healthy and functioning white blood cells, the body is at risk of developing severe and sometimes fatal infections. Acute leukemia develops within days to weeks, and large numbers of immature cells called "blasts" build up. These cells can't function as well as normal white blood cells, so people with acute leukemia are at a higher risk of infection. Because the body is so busy producing "blasts," it can't make as many red blood cells or platelets, which can cause anemia and bleeding disorders. (copied from Leukemia - Causes, Symptoms, Treatment, Diagnosis)
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I guess i should start from the beginning...I messed up...That's the easiest way to say it, but it's far from the truth...I wish i could just say i messed up...But i would be lying if I left it at that...I broke the promise i made you...I told you i would never leave her...No matter how many ways i could twist the meaning of the promise, I know the truth, and it makes it that much worse...I know i've done a lot for Lizzy, i've done a lot for you too, but i feel like i can't give her what she really needs...Granted, she still needs me, but i can't make her as happy as me and you know she needs and deserves to be... i can't make her feel as special as she needs and deserves to be...I let her leave...I tried to let her be happy, but it's only caused her more pain...I tried to move on, but it's hard for both me and her...I can't leave her...I can't hurt her more...If i left forever, she would never recover...she'd be so hurt...I could never let her be like that...I couldn't live with myself wondering day by day how badly i hurt her, wondering how much pain she is going through, wondering if she'll ever be happy again, or if she will be a lifeless shell or if she will just kill herself...I can't let that happen...I can't lead people off a cliff...cause im the person who would look behind me, looking into the faces of each person and realize how many people i would hurt...it may start with a handfull, but it builds and builds and builds and in the end, i'm hurting probably 100 people, 200 people, maybe more...i couldn't do that to people...i just couldn't...I just want to say that i love you Natalie...I broke your promise...i broke the promises i made to Lizzy, to God, to myself...and it's hard to deal with that, but i can't do that to people...I miss you...everything was different with you here with us...