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From the journal of Sir Dr. Mr. Bobbington, Head Researcher of the Iphicese:
"This is the Iphicese, an elusive creature who likes to chew on wall plaster. A.K.A. the one who stole the cookie from the cookie jar, and punter of small creatures. The Iphicese is prone to spurts of irrational blabbering, manical laughter, and will refer to herself in third person. She will attack anything that seems small, fuzzy, shiny, round, with unlawful enthusiasm. Iphicese may sometimes philosophisize about the meaning of life, but often comes to the conclusion that the meaning of life is the philosophisize about the meaning of life, which makes her very confused indeed. The natural enemy of the Iphicese is, strangely anough, the Iphicese, as the disorganized cognitive function of such a creature often causes her to foil herself in whatever scheme she might be cooking.
The Iphicese sometimes likes to think of herself as a writer, though she sometimes likes to think she's a watermelon as well. She has a variety of stories bouncing around her skull, and a variety of characters all yelling at her to stop procrastinating. The Iphicese is, therefore, very easily distracted. The Iphicese is often found either acting like an unadulterated idiot, or a scholarly old geezer, and is known to switch between the two with a complete disregard for consistancy (Note: Iphicese knows no transitory phase). Thus, it is proper to conclude she simply cannot act her correct age.
Occassionally, the Iphicese can be seen rocking back and forth in a dark corner while tapping her fingers in a Mr. Burns-esque fashion. No one is quite sure why the Iphicese does this, though many assume she is, once again, plotting the downfall of her enemies (Note: our researchers have uncovered no such enemies, and it is suspected they are figments of her own imagination). The Iphicese may be warded off with arithmetic textbooks, especially ones that are pink and green (for they burn the eyes). Parents are warned to keep children at least ten meters away.
Habitat:
The Iphicese can be found trolloping the fields of Word Games, but may sometimes tread into such foreign territory as Arenas and sometimes pauses to take a gander at the Writing Forum.
Likes:
The Iphicese enjoys pie, lots and lots of pie (though for unknown reasons, she refers to it as "pi"). She is also in the habit of giving others flying tackle hugs (much to their despair). The Iphicese is very fond of her turtle (aptly named "Turlte"), as well as the colour red. She wishes she had a red turtle, but realizes the inprobability of such wishes. This makes the Iphicese sad. When she is not busy mourning over her red turtle, she is partial to the concept of spontaneous combustion, and thoroughly enjoys prodding others with metallic kitchen utensils. When the Iphicese tires of tormenting others with her incessant proding, she enjoys horror movies, art of all sorts, and plotting.
Dislikes:
As the Iphicese sometimes likes to think she is a writer, she dislikes "oMg, Liek....pPl taht sPEk liek tiS!1!!one1!!" The Iphicese also dislikes small children, as they possess the ability to screech ceaselessly for hours on end. This drives the Iphicese into incredible bouts of fury, in which she curses and screeches back (often to disastrous consequences). Being an avid fan of the colour red, Iphicese dislikes the colour pink, as it is merely diluted red.
Though there is much to learn of such an odd creature, our researchers have made significant progress in unraveling the mysteries of the Iphicese. We look forward to capturing and bringing the Iphicese into the laboratory. Though we have been warned by several notable scientists that this is an absolute imposibility and that we are "dumb" to attempt this, we cannot pass up the chance to further examine this wayward beast.
-Signed Sir Dr. Mr. Bobbington"
Note: It has come to our attention that Sir Dr. Mr. Bobbington is prone to excess chatter. He has thus been banned from making further About Me descriptions and has been sentenced to six months in the Chatterbox
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Knowledge is power, power corrupts. Study hard, be [i:51a6c54d8c]evil.[/i:51a6c54d8c]
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