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- 08/08/2015 5:40 pm
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- 11/07/2008
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Ummm idk what to right for this so heres some fuuny stuff till i think of something better.... Written on hospital papers
The patient refused autopsy
The patient has no previous history of suicides
Patients medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only a 40 pound weight gain in the past 3 days
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it
disappeared
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993
Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission
She is numb from her toes down
Occasional, constant infrequent headaches
Patient was alert and unresponsive
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy
Skin: somewhat pale. But present
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
Here are some maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by airplane mechanics. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor!
P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log and S stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.
P: left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: almost replaced left inside main tyre.
P:Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to strck.
S: Thats what theyer there for!
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect youre right.
P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined airplane. the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Radar hums.
S: reprogrammed radar with words.
P: Mouse in cockpit
S: cat installed
The patient refused autopsy
The patient has no previous history of suicides
Patients medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only a 40 pound weight gain in the past 3 days
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it
disappeared
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993
Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission
She is numb from her toes down
Occasional, constant infrequent headaches
Patient was alert and unresponsive
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy
Skin: somewhat pale. But present
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
Here are some maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by airplane mechanics. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor!
P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log and S stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.
P: left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: almost replaced left inside main tyre.
P:Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to strck.
S: Thats what theyer there for!
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect youre right.
P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined airplane. the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Radar hums.
S: reprogrammed radar with words.
P: Mouse in cockpit
S: cat installed
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