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you're not wrong, things are a mess

I came back to make a statement. Some people might return to old accounts, reminisce seeing PM's to me (like I have) so I'm leaving this here.

I miss the era where sites like this thrived. It was the best childhood development I could've asked for, even for today's generation of youth (circa 2023). A ridiculously and surprisingly safe outlet for edgy humor. At times, scary that you may be talking a young child down from possible suic*de. The era before a hotline algorithm stepped in to intervene is weird to think about.

I spent so much time on about me sections, youtube links (before ads) forcefully subjecting the public to my 12 year old music taste, and drawing art for profiles. God, the roleplays. Learning to vend to pay for ever-increasing prices on 24 pixel items. Begging my mom for 15$ of gaia cash so I could ascend above the proles for a change. All while undergoing trauma of my own, like many others I'm sure.

If you're a visiting (likely) adult and ever received art from me in the past, hit me up. it'd be cool to reconnect now that i'm 10+ years older.

to the friends I made, thanks for being there at the time. To the friends I didn't make, you had your place in my life, too. I hope ya'll are alright these days.

So, shout-out to anyone that had fond memories of this place, which has become almost a shared delusion of an immaterial, pleasant optimism that I don't think can be recovered. Maybe it's just me and I'm getting old. Not bitter, just outdated. I'm grateful this can serve as a time capsule of sorts for now.

This site gives me weirdly anguished nostalgia, though. A husk of a better time and outlook. Maybe you're just 12 years old and wondering why a senior citizen is writing a manifesto on Gaiaonline.com.

I'm writing this in memory of Ryuki. We barely knew each other, and weren't super close - but it's wild to know there's literally friends I made on here that have since died. If it weren't for your donations when I was a noob, I probably would've never kept playing. If I can say anything in the hopes that anyone would ever see it, it'd be that more people should regularly recognize even the smallest things compound into an absolutely insane change in trajectory for another person's life. Butterfly Effect'd the ******** outta this tired, elder zoomer.


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