"...
Buff and scarred.
A woman's battlefield.
Her pride is on the line.
DUN DUN.
One woman...
DUN DUN.
One main dish...
DUN DUN.
A family of fat ******** summer, Kera is... The apprentice ramsay."

lots of walnuts on these treats
made for you, made of sweets
do you find it better than poultry and meats?
surely better than celery and beets
-Dan Winters

Roses are red
violets aren't blue
this poem was written
especially for you
-Veria Alsmont

(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ 1,2,3
bye. *:･ﾟ
-iiEndii

Jumentous your face is like spring back in my home town..

I wish I knew how to write poems
-Infamous Lithium

Rose are red
Bacon is red
I like bacon
I like you.
-Kaezir

You asked me to write with vigor
A ditty of presumptuous woo
So staggered, the best I come up with
Is a poem of veritable poo.
-Seppia

To the girl with the antlers,
and the lovely red eyes
If I found your body in the woods
I'd ward off the flies
So you would stay pretty
Even after you die...s
-violet fantasay

So, here you are staring,
a million stars spinning above your head,
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
as I stand here thinking
them eyes are way qt.
-Cookie_Booger

The sidewalk grows with a rainy light.
Fast, faceless women roughly signal a cold, faithless man.
The Corners sell despair, stinking old cologne.
Fear, anger, and desire.
-The Plasmarifle

Roses are red

violets are blue

i l ike you face
-NoT WhAt

Dear Jumentous,

We will never know each other

like you know that special someone

but atleast our paths met

on cb this horrible sunday.

We will live our lives separately

attempting to bring meaning to our lives desperately

trying to achieve our dreams continuously

only to fail or succeed

the choice is yours and mine

and the will of the gaian gods.
-KaleOnFire

rose red violet blue i c** in my dad shoe
-helo my nam lindo

Ah, the day that one asks for a poem,
Is the day that the Chatterbox show 'em,
All the nasty, and ghastly, of the human mind,
Only if to make them pass a little time
-Mistress DragonFlame

For the presence of Death,
Abated it’s breath.
And all men kneeled in awe.
For it was foreshown,
And humanity known
Jumentous! Stood one who killed God.
-Immortal Traceur

once there was a fine lil mamma
she said "ay can u spare tha dolla?"
ofc im a shady fella
wanted her to feel like cinderalla
so i showed her i was thicc
and she was like "ayo u got that big dicc"
-Conquistadork

We fear what we cannot contain
for this we take our toll.
We expect the sky to rain
though that's not in our control.
-Lyre3

Hair blue as a robin's egg,
Wings black as coal.
Eyes piercing as an arrow head,
Posture of a noble soul.

How do I describe Jumentous?
With these words I cannot describe
The beauty and grace of this user,
Nor the joy that Ju brings to my mind.
- A Monochrome Nightmare

»roses are red
violets are blue
here's 10b
buy yourself something pretty
-Cuttin Up Hookers
<3

"Jumentous my dear
Haikus are poems also
Should pay me for this"
-Hellbound Dreams

You are like a dove that flies from above,
You are like a tree, you can see me 360 degree,
You are like a rainbow, I can see you through any window,
Am I inlove because I kept on asking from God.
-Ajeei

Love me for long time
Long time equals three days here
Should have signed pre-nup
-Hellbound Dreams

We are so far apart, still your in my Heart,
Thoughts just keep on running in my mind,
Wandering why you're so hard to find,
Oh My Gosh! I am really in love.
-Ajeei

That is what she said
Always answer in haiku
Can do this all day
-Hellbound Dreams

i love jelly beans theyre yum
if you want i give you sum
they gon make us fly to space
were gona find the marshmellowrace
they will teach us how to dance
like they do on planet shrance
then we ll all get really high
because we want to fly up the sky
-KUIKEL DER HEXENMEISTER

I highly doubt that
Should not copy someone else
Be true to yourself
-Hellbound Dreams

Awesome to hear that
Flooding your heart with haikus
I bet you love it
-Hellbound Dreams

I do not need rest
Just ate my fill at dinner
Round two begins now
-Hellbound Dreams

Ju
Ju
Jumentous
Your heart is enormous
I'd like to give you something
Probably a forehead kiss
-Fitze, 2015

Roses are Red.
Violets are blue.
Watch down girl,
I'm gonna hurl.
-RoboGandalf

jumentous,
you are momentous.
with pale nude pixels
the sky parts,
and she who descends is
jumentous.
"how splendid!" chant the
children,
the elderly echo,
"tremendous!"
all who deny are demented,
for the fabled one has come
and graced earth with her presence.
the infinite, omnipotent,
gaia user jumentous.
-kid incubus

It was delicious
Burgers, hot dogs, and some chips
George Foreman grills rule

Are you hungry now?
Can grill up more food right now
Rather cook it fresh
-Hellbound Dreams

Sadly I do not
I love barbecue beef ribs
Not a fan of pork
-Hellbound Dreams

weeks went by that felt like hours
spring would lie in summer showers
in my hair were winter flowers

this has only just begun
autumn winds have surely sprung
twilight nights hung among

colours of the masquerade
watch as they fall away
faceless under faces made

and we said
this has only just begun
in the end
time forever favors the young
-youngdildo

Foam from the rivermouth
Knocks the glassy eye askew
Our sight is foam and water
Currents surging to start anew.
-LabTech647

a**s
-Blunge

You are a clever thing to say.
A funny thought stand still...
-the saint was evil

Well you said no balls
We prefer different things
Could cook you pork ribs

I do not like pork
You can have all the pork ribs
More beef ribs for me

Still writing haiku
I'm sure you are sick of it
But this is your fault
-Hellbound Dreams

chips are round
hash browns are too
fries can be crispy
fried potato for you
-Intricate Moo

roses are black
violets are black
everything is black
i can't see
-Super Weenie Hut Jr

roses r gray
violets r gray
everything is gray
im colorblind
-Yuunachi

THE END
-LiIIIy

Roses are red
This poem is flirty
Wait, no it's not
It was going to be dirty
-Azial

pizza with mozzarella
rumble, rumble a midnight stomach
please bring home a pizza
mozzarella cheese
-Kuroko with Pitbulls

Pp touch
-nirvagina

Toaster, oh toaster
why does only one side work?
I hate you toaster
go choke on a bagel
-v Dovahkiin

Take my hand,
And we'll away,
To magical places,
And flowered glades,
Follow me through,
The sacred groves,
Where no living human,
May make their abode,
To stately mountians,
where rivers flow,
through ghostly plains,
and caverns that glow,
Until you come upon,
The blessed fields,
where no mortal go,
and secrets yield
-Daedra_Queen

Blood is red
Veins are blue
Organs are slippery
I want to feel you.
-Magically Dicklicious

Through the Seated Years


I knew you since we were tots
You built a foundation between my mother and I
you lifted me safely on my baby cot

In through the years we began to see distance
as everyone else shook the foundation
we never change not even for an instance

outspoken you were
yet not popular with those who I would have liked
however with the group I fell into you were not the same cour

Sure I may find the best lass
And I'm my head is too far close and too far in
You were always there to make me perfectly crass

I love you, my a**
-The Philosophical Poet

The night is like that guy on the corner of my street
He used to be a rapper and he still has that beat
He told me a story of a girl with cute feet
He told me where to find her so that we could meet
Perhaps you are the girl pretty far below
Approaching you like this is the only way to know
I forget how it goes or does it go nowhere?
Oh well, there's some shitty poetry to be fair.
-Rexford Radical

Ｉ  ｆｕｃｋｉｎｇ  ｌｏｖｅ  ｐｏｅｍｓ

i stole them as a reference
cos my luv is tru
like the sticker 2 my wal
im stuk 2 u like glue
-crank dat soulja boi

jumentous senpai
ur so cute and sly
i wanna bake u a pie
preferably one ur allergic 2
so all that u will poo
is a bunch of gross goo
but jumentous just kno
that i will always love u
-frank underwood

Mom told me I was going to be a prostitute.
Oh, shoot.
-Calisai

There's a poem here
I'm pretty sure I'll find it
Eh, whatever man.
-Inflatable Mattress

Roses are Red
Violets are Violet
...
I'm not good at poems...
-Cheat_Skill

roses are red
violets are blue
id ******** you
-boner tickler

mid day summer wind
oh how the curtains love the breeze
watering the plants
while petting their little leaves

sweet jume sweet jume

she wanders the yard to wack the weeds
but weeds never really bothered her
she just wants to be in the sun
and remember the good memories where she had fun

sweet jume sweet jume

night time summer stars
oh how the moon loves to be among them
sitting on the roof
feels perfect in the month of june

sweet jume sweet jume
-Hard Soda

I'm not going to.
Don't really feel up to it.
If only I tried.

Keep that up you'll see.
An embarrassed man blushing.
That's really no joke.

I doubt I have more.
I truly wish that I did.
But alas I don't.

Honestly I'm not.
I just speak in weird way.
That's what I write down.
-Darth Millennial

Diabeetus.
-Brilford Wimley

spics are farmers
niggers are maids
All you faggots enjoy your AIDS
-Tranny Triggerer

roses are flowers
violets are also flowers
i like ur profile its cool
-Saher-y

Let night be night
let day be day
let the children fight
where they used to play
-HombreTaco

Tanto que te quiero
Tanto que te vas
Tanto que te amo
y nunca me amaras.
_______________
terrible translation:
How much I like you
How much you leave
How much I love you
and you'll never love me.
-HombreTaco

u remind me of a bad 1980s flick
that makes me pretty tick
im an idiot
but ur a bigger 1
ilu ok
-EdnaBear

Roses are red,
well I guess they can be yellow too...
...and White...
Yeah....
-HomebrewFox

Crossed of star with fingers dragged like a phantoms kiss across your lips.
In tantric verse. Prosaic and fleeting. A spell of slightest omen.
Cold of verse and fluid of tongue like the taste of water and wine and blood.
It speaks with words that only your heart may hear over the roar of the drumbeat in your ear.
In a language all its own it howls upon the moon of your imagination. It sings to you.
It screams your name as you write it down with shaking fingers.
As you spell the words that read disaster.
As they make the sound in your mind that deafens you.
Blinds you.
Binds you. And frees you all the same.

And you breathe at last the words that stole your breath.
In hushed and broken tones from quivering, phantom-kissed lips.

A name.
-Nation Prophetic

a** a** a** a** a**
a** a** a** a** a** a** a**
a** a** a** a** a**
- a haiku by me
User 38355615

there once was a man named dave
who kept a dead wh*re in a cave
i'd have to admit
she smelled like s**t
but think of the money he'd save
-Decaffeinated Roxy

roses r red
tulips r red
the sky is red
my eyes are bleeding

"call 911 pls" by me
-birbkawa

there once was a person on gaia
he ate some hot sauce and his a** was on fiya
-delete zella zombie

ive got nothing to do
to CB I... goo
-Kislorodystopia

" haikus are easy
but sometimes they don't make sense
refrigerator "
-I3looky

the little demon ghost
ventured to the webs
found herself a home
trapped in cyberspace
-crumpig

roses are red
my name is dave
this poem makes no sense
microwave

(its not really dave)
-Zenmender

begonias are pink
hydrangeas are blue
this is a shitty poem
but i wrote it just for u
-Your Husbando

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have five fingers
The middle one's for you
-Phrv

Refrigerator.
There is food inside of it.
Yummies for tummies.

Unfortunately,
my fridge is empty as well.
I am so sorry.
-I 0 0 4

roses are red
violets are blue
i just farted
how are you?
-J e l I I y

cat pee
-sierrv

Sometimes, in the Dawn,
Just when I think love has up and gone,
I'll watch you take a s**t on your lawn
And you'll make me feel like I belong
here..
with you..
forever..
-Filth of the Mountain

Red rose petals touch my lips
As I kiss passion goodbye
Forget-me-nots have slipped my mind
Who have stated the obvious

Gentle lilies of the valley
Could be poison in disguise
Morbid violets show their pain
By their beaten, bruised demeanor

Those poor, nave irises
Have no inkling of their fate
Which lies in the uncouth hands
Of He Who Operates The Lawnmower

Pity the wretched dandelions
Seen as vile, treacherous weeds
Ignored just as wallflowers are
And never seen for their true beauty

Outward spreads the Orange Blossom,
The very symbol of true love
Deftly grows the Orange Blossom,
Which I'll likely never see.
-Kripto

The grass glows greener with every night,
As they soak up the sweet moonlight.
Oh heaven for sin,
What have I done-
There is no glory in basking in sun!

The moon she ails me to her side,
A silver silohette in the sky.
Such soulful and unharming rays,
Than that of the sun for many days.

She shimmers at night where her stars gather around,
And most nights you can hear nature- a glorious sound.
So peaceful, picturesque, the moon my love.
My depression sinks away as I look above.

The night is a place where I wish I could stay,
So silent, so pure, unlike the day-
Cursing people raging around,
As the grass lies dead upon the ground...

OH! A bad poem-

Turtles are green,
Just like goo,
And I love potatoes,
Now I need the loo.
-Aura Alruna

Now, the night, is coming to an end,
the sun, will rise, and we will try again.
Stay alive, stay alive, for me.
You will die, but now your life, is free.
-Shxlbz