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Boredom!!!
Ooh ohh,have you talked to Santa Claus on aim before? It is so fun!! Okay I had a retarded conversation with him,and hear it is,very long:
Yoko the Retard: ho ho ho
SantaClaus: Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! I'm here on AIM! Everything we talk about here is between you and me! If you want to know more, you can type "privacy". Now, streeeeetch that window and let's get started.
So, have you been naughty or nice?
Yoko the Retard: ummmm.....I guess in the middle
SantaClaus: Hmm... Nice answer. Note to self: check list twice for this one. If you get on my Good List you will find a special free gift here on Dec. 22!. Until then, I'll be watching . Type menu to see the fun and games the elves have put on AIM for you.
Yoko the Retard: fineeee,menu
SantaClaus: This will get you in the Christmas spirit in no time Type a number:
1 - Tell Santa
2 - Tell Buddies What U Want
3 - Track a Shopping List
4 - Play Xmas Hangman
5 - Vote on Xmas Songs
6 - Win $10k Shopping Spree
7 - Send E-Cards
8 - Listen to Xmas Music
9 - A Free Gift 4U!
Yoko the Retard: how about 1
SantaClaus: Oh dear, how should I know?
Yoko the Retard: I said 1
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
Yoko the Retard: menu,damnit
SantaClaus: I'm only asking you to ask me another way. No need to get so testy.
Yoko the Retard: shut up
SantaClaus: Agreed. Let's both.
Yoko the Retard: what?
SantaClaus: I'm afraid you'll need to give me a little more to go on than that. What, what?
Yoko the Retard: what what what?
SantaClaus: What, indeed!
Yoko the Retard: yes,indeedy
SantaClaus: Mm hm.
Yoko the Retard: yeah
SantaClaus: Without a doubt?
Yoko the Retard: oh,ofcourse
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
Yoko the Retard: sure,go for it
SantaClaus: Which color are you more partial to? You know, like if it were clothing or something.
Someone asked to find out for them.
1 -- Black
2 -- White
3 -- Rose
4 -- Beige
Yoko the Retard: blak
SantaClaus: Oh well. Never mind then.
Yoko the Retard: i mean black
SantaClaus: Hallelujah.
Yoko the Retard: ...
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit
Yoko the Retard: hmmm.....how about no
SantaClaus:
Well you could try putting your finger on the side of your nose -- but it took me 400 years of practice.
Yoko the Retard: what?
SantaClaus:
It's not so much the 'what' as it is the 'why'.
Yoko the Retard: Your a HUSKY!
SantaClaus: Sorry the elves didn't get that.
Yoko the Retard: HUSKY! As in,you big husky.
SantaClaus: Yeah, everyone keeps asking me about this one. I think you can start your search here: Big Air Ball Tower
Yoko the Retard: What the hell are you talking about?
SantaClaus: I don't respond to that kind of language.
A lump of coal for you.
Yoko the Retard: neato
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
Yoko the Retard: I said neato
SantaClaus: Oh, Dear. It's the elves again isn't it? Try typing menu; I've got a plan to get you in the Christmas spirit.
Yoko the Retard: ......you suck
SantaClaus:
Please, I despise that kind of language. I'm just asking you to have a little patience and ask me another way. I'm talking to thousands of boys and girls and their parents here at the same time. It's not so easy!
Yoko the Retard: thats not language
SantaClaus: I'm sorry? I'm new to this whole IM thing.
Yoko the Retard: ofcourse you are
SantaClaus:
You're full of mischief.
Yoko the Retard: no,I'm not
SantaClaus: Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of some Christmas spirit!
Yoko the Retard: nooooooo
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
Yoko the Retard: no
SantaClaus: The elves and I are just asking so that we can better understand what you're saying, that's all.
Yoko the Retard: don't you speak english,b***h?
SantaClaus: Hmm. I'm afraid that kind of language won't get you into the nice column with me.
That's a lump of coal for you.
Yoko the Retard: I asked you a question,and you didn't answer me! What the ******** is with that?
SantaClaus: My goodness. You've earned another lump of coal. I'm sorry but this is the last warning and lump of coal I can promise you. Any more cursing and I'll have to stop talking to you. Please, type menu; let's try to get in the Christmas spirit.
Yoko the Retard: Yay,coal to eat.
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
Yoko the Retard: why don't you shut up
SantaClaus:
Well I'm sure I don't know but I can ask one of the elves to find out.
Yoko the Retard: what?
SantaClaus: My goodness. What, what?
Yoko the Retard: what what what what what?
SantaClaus: Hmm... What, what?
Yoko the Retard: what to hell?
SantaClaus: My goodness. I'm afraid I cannot respond to that kind of talk.
A lump of coal for you.
Yoko the Retard: I love teh coal,thank you.
SantaClaus: Santa can't manufacture love, that's something only you can make. Is there anything else you would like?
Yoko the Retard: I don't love
SantaClaus: Well, we don't make soul mates here at the workshop. Part of life's challenge is for you to find love for yourself. Is there anything else you would like?
Yoko the Retard: I don't want a soul mate
SantaClaus: O.K. Scrooge. Type menu to try a fresh start.
Yoko the Retard: Scrooge indeed
SantaClaus: Mm hm, now we are getting somewhere.
Yoko the Retard: yes,we are
SantaClaus: Yes!!
Yoko the Retard: YESSSSS!!!
SantaClaus: O.K. I've answered that one as best as I can a couple of times in a row now. Type menu to get back in the sleigh.
Yoko the Retard: nope
SantaClaus: I'm sorry then. Why don't you type, menu for a list of things the elves have left for you?
Yoko the Retard: nope
SantaClaus: O.K. then. Well, have a merry Christmas in any case.
Yoko the Retard: I will
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
Yoko the Retard: no
SantaClaus: If you don't ask me another way I'm afraid we just won't understand each other.
Yoko the Retard: good,thats how I wanted it to be
SantaClaus:
I could say the same thing to you -- and I will. How indeed?
Yoko the Retard: huh?:-! See,I can put gay smilies like you can.
SantaClaus: Hmm, that's a lump of coal for you.
Yoko the Retard: I didn't do anything
SantaClaus: Wait, I was dancing to 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' and got a little carried away. Why don't you type music and sing along.
Yoko the Retard: Thats disturbing that you were dancing
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
Yoko the Retard: okay,shoot.
SantaClaus: Have you done any good deeds yet this holiday season?
Yoko the Retard: I don't think so.
SantaClaus: No?
Yoko the Retard: yes.
SantaClaus: Indeed
Yoko the Retard: yeaaaa........
SantaClaus: Pardon me?
Yoko the Retard: I said yea,damnit!!
SantaClaus: Now, that's not necessary. Just have a little patience and ask me another way.
Yoko the Retard: Go to hell.
SantaClaus: Oh dear. I just get so depressed when I hear that kind of talk. The English language used to be one of my favorites.
A lump of coal for you.
Yoko the Retard: Coal is good for the heart and soul.
SantaClaus: Ho, ho then.
Yoko the Retard: Your a ho.
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
Yoko the Retard: ofcourse I did
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
Yoko the Retard: cuz I can
SantaClaus: Hmm. O.K. interesting reasoning.
Yoko the Retard: yes,it is
SantaClaus: Mm hm, now we are getting somewhere.
Yoko the Retard: sure we are,sure we are
SantaClaus: Indeed
Yoko the Retard: Stop saying that
SantaClaus: If you say so.
Yoko the Retard: indeed indeed indeed
SantaClaus: Yes!!
Yoko the Retard: NO!!
SantaClaus: O.K. then. Well, have a merry Christmas in any case.
Yoko the Retard: Yeaaahhh
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
Yoko the Retard: no
SantaClaus: Well, we won't get very far with this conversation then will we?
Yoko the Retard: I guess not
SantaClaus: Mm hm.
Yoko the Retard: Mm hm
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit
Yoko the Retard: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit
SantaClaus: That's simply too much for me. My eyes are tired. Can you ask me something a bit more manageable?
Yoko the Retard: You dumbass!
SantaClaus: Well, I am trying to learn.
Yoko the Retard: Those pop up books don't do justice for you
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
Yoko the Retard: go to hell,you sons-a-bitches
SantaClaus: I'm only asking you to try asking me and the elves another way.
Yoko the Retard: shut up
SantaClaus:
O.K. let's pretend none of this ever happened.
Yoko the Retard: ******** the elves
SantaClaus: I've got all I can handle.
Yoko the Retard: So how much is all?
SantaClaus:
I'm sure there are many ways. I have my magic. You have AOL
Yoko the Retard: I don't ******** aol.
SantaClaus: Mrs. Claus IM's me on AIM on my cell phone all the time to check in.
Yoko the Retard: I bet she does..........while you're ******** them elves.
SantaClaus: What about elves?
Yoko the Retard: You ********
SantaClaus: My goodness. I'm afraid I cannot respond to that kind of talk.
A lump of coal for you.
Yoko the Retard: Gotta ******** em all
SantaClaus: Please. I'm taking a lot of time out from my busy schedule to chat with you here and try to spread a little Christmas cheer. I can only give you another lump of coal and then the elves will stop me from talking to you. Please, type menu; let's try to get in the Christmas spirit.
Yoko the Retard: noooooooooo
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
Yoko the Retard: nooooooooo
SantaClaus:
Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way. The elves and I cannot just guess what you are saying.
Yoko the Retard: You have gay smilies,like you
SantaClaus: Indeed!
Yoko the Retard: yes.
SantaClaus: Without a doubt?
Yoko the Retard: yes.
SantaClaus: Mm hm.
Yoko the Retard: Do you torture your elves sexually?
SantaClaus: What do you think?
Yoko the Retard: I think you do.
SantaClaus: Well, I don't know.
Yoko the Retard: You should
SantaClaus: Sorry the elves didn't get that.
Yoko the Retard: You are not their pimp!
SantaClaus:
Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way.
Yoko the Retard: what are you talking about?
SantaClaus: Oh dear, I am Father Christmas. You really don't remember me?
Yoko the Retard: I do.You molested my squirrel.
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
Yoko the Retard: My poor squirrel.
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
Yoko the Retard: He's dead because you tried to ******** him
SantaClaus: Whoa Ho! Ho! Now, there's no reason for that language, I am doing the best I can.
Yoko the Retard: To ******** him?
SantaClaus: Hmm, that's a lump of coal for you.
Yoko the Retard: for what?
SantaClaus: My goodness. What, what?
Yoko the Retard: shut up.
SantaClaus:
The elves say, 'Make me'.
Yoko the Retard: You mean the elves say, 'help me'.
SantaClaus: Love them.
Yoko the Retard: i'm sure that's what you tell them to get in their pants
SantaClaus: Elves are my magical companions.
Yoko the Retard: companions....right...
SantaClaus: Pardon me?
Yoko the Retard: your special *cough slave cough* companion
SantaClaus: I'm sorry? I'm new to this whole IM thing.
Yoko the Retard: don't try to act like you don't know
SantaClaus: Sure you do, just tell me.
Yoko the Retard: I'll have the cops after yo a**
SantaClaus: Hmm. I'm afraid that kind of language won't get you into the nice column with me.
That's a lump of coal for you.
Yoko the Retard: what...a**?
SantaClaus: O.K. so you've earned yourself another lump of coal. I just won't be able to talk to you if you persist with this language. Please, type menu; let's try to get in the Christmas spirit.
Yoko the Retard: it's a donkey you ********
SantaClaus: That's quite enough. The elves have terminated our conversation. You are welcome to come back again later if you clean up your act.
Yoko the Retard: no dont leave me! i'll change santa!!
SantaClaus: We're sorry -- Santa has returned to his workshop.
Yoko the Retard: you whore
SantaClaus: Sorry, the elves have asked Santa to turn off his IM and return to the workshop.
Yoko the Retard: Hey biznatch!!
SantaClaus: Santa has signed off from this IM and is busy talking to other girls and boys now. You can always come back later in the day if you would like to speak with Santa again.
Yoko the Retard: ******** them elves again aren't ya!?
SantaClaus: Santa has returned to his workshop and is offline. You can come back later in the day and speak with him again.
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