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I've been reading more than usual lately and I've come to understand that I like or dislike books for reasons that I can't remember... So I'm going to start writing this down. The order follows the order I read them in, so no, it doesn't really make sense.

Resident Evil: Caliban Cove by S.D. Perry
The first original novel in a seven volume series revolving around the Raccoon City Incident of 1998 (I'm going to write the RE reviews as though everyone knows what I'm talking about). This novel introduces a new branch of branch of S.T.A.R.S.--the Exeter S.T.A.R.S.--and pits them, along with Rebecca Chambers, against a madman scientist who plans on releasing his own airborne version of the T-Virus.

Due to the fact that Perry had no game to base this story upon, she had to create her own Umbrella facility. Taking artist's license, she created a series of new creatures for the S.T.A.R.S. to face off against and presents a puzzle that has them running from building to building. She also created a new type of virus that is far superior to the previous incarnation of the T-Virus. These aspects were done well with the exception of the facility. It seems more bland than those presented in the game and it is set no where near any form of civilization. Also, the classic Tyrant smashing things and "self-destruct sequence" ending is missing.

Perry was able to give more background and detail to Rebecca than previously explored in the original game (this book was published before "Resident Evil 0" was released). Her experimentation with additional S.T.A.R.S. units makes the organization broader, but sadly these stories are not canon.

Resident Evil: Underground by S.D. Perry
The second and final original novel by Perry. This time, Leon, Barry, Claire, Rebecca, and Exeter S.T.A.R.S. captain David take on an underground facility in the desert. Again, with no game to base the storyline on, Perry takes artist license. This time she improves upon her design of the facility and turns the giant puzzle of Caliban Cove into a complex trap.

The team finds themselves separated and up against new creatures and crack Umbrella agents alike. All the while, one of Umbrellas top brass controls the facility and decides to do a field test of the recent additions--including the first reptilian Tyrant: Fossil.

This novel feels more like a true Resident Evil spin-off. Even though the build-up is original to the series, the Tyrant finishes off the story nicely. By now Perry has gotten a feel for the universe and is having fun developing the characters in a way that makes the most sense. Again, this story is not canon.

Alice's Aventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carrol:
With so many people making such a big deal about the new movie, I dug this two-in-one book out of my closet and dusted it off. That's right, there are actually two Alice stories. I'd never read the stories before, but I am familiar with the Disney film. After reading this, I realized that Disney had screwed up in just about everything. For one thing, both stories have been merged into one.

Let's get on with it: Wonderland has the basic storyline found within the Disney flick. Alice floats--not falls--but floats down the rabbit hole, changes sizes, gets washed away, and meets all manner of odd talking creature. It ends with Alice going behemoth on a court room after being sentenced with decapitation. She wakes up a realizes that it was nothing more than a dream. The freakiest thing about this book is the Cheshire Cat. If you read the version illustrated by John Tenniel the Cat's bizarre--if frightening--features burn a permanent image into the back of your mind that won't go away. People might like him from the Disney film, but his appearance in the book in downright scary and he's a turd--refusing to help Alice.

Looking Glass theoretically revisits Wonderland, although nothing is the same save the Mad Hatter who appears as a different character entirely. Speaking of the Hatter, he's a minor nothing of a character, so it's curious how he ever became popular in the first place--Disney sure failed at portraying his character properly. And if you think the Jabberwocky has any actual important, think again. Anyway, a war has broken out... between chess pieces. The two sides don't actually seem to clash, but instead pester and annoy. Alice, caught in the middle, doesn't seem to give a crap so long as she's crowned queen. This story seemed a bit more random than the original and honestly wasn't that memorable.

If you're excited about the new movie, you're probably going to be disappointed. Alice is a venture into the nonsensical dreams of a seven and a half year old girl. While it's fine as the recounting of odd dreams, it's really nothing to get your hopes up for.

Resident Evil: Nemesis by S.D. Perry
Perry's third game retelling takes on Resident Evil 3. Jill is trapped in a city full of the walking dead while a giant Tyrant known as Nemesis hunts her, her compatriots, and anyone who gets in its way. As with previous titles, Perry has had to cut out a lot of the action from the games in order to make the story run more smoothly. The important parts are there, but don't expect everything to be the same.

In the remaining hours of Raccoon City's existence, Jill meets survivors of an Umbrella special operations squad and fights off the horror of the demolished streets. Facing explosions, betrayal, and creatures around every turn, Jill makes to way to the edge of town in hopes of finding a ride out.

Perry fills in gaps left by the game by adding her own version of the story in: namely Nicholai's story. As with other game-based titles, Perry cuts the crap and has her mystery character, Trent, meet with a character and tells them what to do. This makes the storyline no less of a frantic sprint to freedom and at the same time adds to a growing subplot that was sadly cut short. This book is a good retelling--even down to the details where Jill feels her heart in her chest before a big decision needs to be made--but don't read it until you've already played the game.

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton
"Jurassic Park" is one of my favorite movies from my childhood and Crichton is the author that transitioned me into the world of adult fiction at a young age. I read the sequel before the original, but I still ate them both up.

Grant has become apart of a tour of a new zoo in Costa Rica. This new zoo is home to over a dozen species of cloned dinosaurs. The staff, confident and cocky, have to watch as the park falls apart after a programmer lets lose a flaw he built into the works. As the park employees work to reconstruct downed fences, herd animals, and get the system running, the survivors must fend off pterodons, velociraptors, and one pissed off T-rex.

If you're expecting the movie, it ain't gonna happen. Both versions have their strong points, but I find that the book is more flawed than the movie. Both versions have seriously awesome scenes with the T-rex escaping, but the book puts far more emphasis on the velociraptors than the movie does. I wanted to nuke the dang things after a first couple of incidents. What's worse is Crichton, really for no good reason at all, has three of his character dive into a raptor nest to COUNT them. This scene honestly made me mad and I had to re-read the reasoning behind it three times to determine it was pointless. "Get on the evac 'copter? Nah! Let's go count super intelligent, super strong, super fast, sport-hunter dinosaurs!" I wanted to punch Grant.

Aside from the nonsensical ending, it's still a great read with plenty more dinosaur action and more character detail.

Resident Evil: Code: Veronica by S.D. Perry
Perry's last entry into the RE continuity follows Claire as she continues her search for her brother. She is captured by Umbrella and taken prisoner on a remote island. When a military strike unleashed the T-Virus upon the island, Claire must work her way among the wreckage to an escape plane. Along the way she's stalked by the psychotic commander of the island and a mace-fisted Tyrant. After being hijacked to another facility in Antarctica she must face off against the commander's father and eventually his demi god sister.

This book is actually cleaner than the game. While playing, I found myself running back and forth a lot, but the linear feel of the book helped cement the storyline into my brain better. Simply put: it's easier to digest--especially without the added stress the game provides. There isn't much else to say about this title, but it was nice getting this entry into the RE universe.

Resident Evil: Zero Hour by S.D. Perry
The final publication of Perry's RE series is actually the first book in the series. Based off of "Resident Evil 0", Perry adds huge chunks to the prequel's storyline which might as well be considered canon. Reading the book and then playing the game will help you better understand and better imagine the behind the scenes work that Birkin and Wesker are doing.

Rebecca is separated from her team in the opening act of the Raccoon City Incident. She meets a wrongly convicted felon named Billy and the two must stick together as they explore an abandoned training facility and learn about the birth of the T-Virus. Facing off against even more new creatures and a hive of mutant leeches, the pair must navigate their way out of the seemingly endless Umbrella facilities so that Rebecca might meet up with her teammates.

By now, Perry has got the RE series down pat. You can tell it by her writing that she could produce a dozen more books in the series without even sweating. This makes the book the best read in the entire series. Sadly, this was and probably will remain the last book of the series.

How to Be A Villain: Evil Laughs, Secret Lairs, Master Plans, and More!!! by Neil Zawacki

This book is a quirky fictitious non-fiction title. Ever though about becoming evil? Well this tomb tells you everything you'll need to know!

Honestly, the book is just one big joke--and it's worth a few chuckles. It's also a quick read as the pages are dominated by images. If you're a fan of cartoons or old films, you're bound to know what's already written inside. Sadly, nothing is really new material, but it does make for a decent reference book when looking into cliches. If you ever come across it, you'll probably only read it once.

Resident Evil: The Umbrella Conspiracy by S.D. Perry
The original chapter in the Raccoon City Incident. This also Perry's first RE title and it's also her roughest. It's too be expected when starting a new series, but she did well with condensing the story and creating her own original character, Trent.

Jill, Chris, and Barry go looking for their missing compatriots only to watch as one of their own is eaten my a mutant dog. Seeking shelter within a nearby mansion, the group discovers rooms full of zombies and conspiracy that is guaranteed to destroy the lives of everyone in Raccoon City if someone doesn't put a stop to it.

While the game presented a maze of rooms and dozens of puzzles, Perry skips a lot of the wandering around in favor of progressing the storyline more quickly. Jill is given information and a map by Trent and with the combined efforts of her teammates, makes her way out of the mansion and into the research facility hidden within. Not a bad choice, in my opinion. What's the point of reading about someone running back and forth because they forgot an item or they can now unlock an armor door? In all, it's a good start to a great series.

Indiana Jones and the Army of the Dead by Steve Perry
I've been a fan of the Indy movies since I was a kid, but I never expanded my experience with the universe until now. Army of the Dead is my first venture into the series of novels inspired by the films. What a load of crap.

Indy and Mac set out for Haiti where they hope to find a giant black pearl. Along the way, they pick up tails from Nazis, Japanese, and an ancient witch doctor. Once they obtain it, they all have to face off against an army of zombi slaves loyal to the witch doctor.

There are MANY things wrong with this book. For one, Indy just happens to know where this pearl is. He gets the information from someone prior to the beginning of the book. Indy also never sets foot inside a temple or ancient ruin. He just finds the pearl in a dirt field. He uses his whip only once--ONCE--to fend off enemies! Also, that hat pisses me off. Perry (different from the RE books) spends pages rehashing events that occurred in the movie. I don't know how many times I had to read about his stupid hat and Elsa's betrayal over the Grail. It drove me bonkers, but before I knew it, it was over. EVERYONE was dead save for Indy, Mac, and the female lead. You kind of know that no one stands a chance when someone gets ripped apart every other chapter. Did a mention the typos? Did they stop paying their editors or are they just as big a turd as the author? As an adventure/horror novel it's fair--just fair, not good or even fine--but as an Indy book it SUCKS. I had to watch "Temple of Doom" just to clear it from my mind.

Next by Michael Crichton
Don't get me wrong--I love Crichton's work, but seriously: What the Hell? This book is not only his final work (since he died in 200 cool , but also his most complex. New characters are introduced hundreds of pages into the book (it's just over 500 pages long) and the main focus of the story doesn't even appear until the dead center of the novel.

It chronicles a series of genetic crimes committed by numerous individuals--some geneticists; some morticians; some business execs; some bounty hunters--and their victims. The story snowballs as characters are added--including three talking animals (one of which is half human) and a group of them wind up having a clash for the climax. Characters come and go at fairly even intervals, allowing just enough story to slip through to keep you wanting more. Unfortunately, not everyone appears to have a purpose and the loose story ends fall flat with weak explanations.

I'm at a loss for what to say on this book. It's rather... jumbled. There's kind of a main plot, but then again there isn't. Thankfully, everyone is connected in one way or another (except for the talking orangutan, go figure), so this pattern at least gives you a false sense that you understand what's going on. Confusing, disturbing, and frustrating sums it up nicely. In all, not Crichton's worst, but most certainly not his best.

Currently reading: Resident Evil: City of the Dead
Yet to come:
9 Stories
Door to December
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
The Hound of Baskersvilles (maybe...)
The Invisible Man (assumingly...)
Life, the Universe, and Everything
The Lovely Bones
Mostly Harmless
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
So Long and Thanks for All the Fish
State of Fear
To Kill a Mockingbird
World War Z
Young Zaphod Plays it Safe
The Zombie Survival Guide

You know, I've read stuff since I posted this, but I've already forgotten what they were...