my favorite song lyrics!:
1)amish paradise by weird al
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies all I agree I look good in black... fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Caruso
It's as primitave as can be
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish paradise
Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
Think you're really rightous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might just have to get medieval on your heinie
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an Amish paradise
Yuck
2)yoda by weird al
I met him in a swamp down in Dagoba
Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda
S O D A, soda
I saw the little runt sitting there on a log
I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said "Yoda"
Y O D A, Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Well, I've been around, but I ain't never seen
A guy who looks like a muppet, but he's wrinkled and green
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Well, I'm not dumb, but I can't understand
How he can lift me in the air just by raising his hand
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Well, I left home just a week before
And I've never ever been a Jedi before
But Obi Wan, he set me straight, of course
He said, "Go to Yoda and he'll show you the Force"
Well I'm not the kind that would argue with Ben
So it looks like I'm gonna start all over again
With my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
So I used the Force
I picked up a box
I lifted some rocks
While I stood on my head
Well, I won't forget what Yoda said
He said, "Luke, stay away from the darker side
And if you start to go astray, let the Force be your guide"
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
"I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed
But remember, if you kill him, then you'll be unemployed"
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Well, I heard my friends really got in a mess
So I'm gonna have to leave Yoda, I guess
But I know that I'll be coming back some day
I'll be playing this part 'till I'm old and gray
The long-term contract that I had to sign
Says I'll be making these movies till the end of time
With my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Amos moses by jerry reed:
Yeah...
Here comes Amos
Now Amos Moses was a Cajun
He lived by hisself in the swamp
And hunted alligator for a living
He'd just knock 'em in the head with a stump
The Louisiana law is gonna getcha you, Amos
It ain't legal hunting alligator down in the swamp, boy
Now everyone blamed his old man
For makin' him mean as a snake
When Amos Moses was a boy
His daddy would use him for alligator bait
Tie a rope around his waist and throw him in the swamp
Ha ha ha
Alligator bait in the Louisiana bayou
About forty-five minutes southeast of Thibodeaux, Louisiana
Lived a man called Doc Milsap and his pretty wife Hannah
Well they raised up a son that could eat up his weight in groceries
Named him after a man of the cloth
Called him Amos Moses
Yeah
Ha ha
Now the folks around south Louisiana
Said Amos was a hell of a man
He could trap the biggest, the meanest alligator
And just use one hand
That's all he got left cause an alligator bit it
Ha ha ha
Left arm gone clean up to the elbow
Well the sheriff got wind that Amos
Was in the swamp trappin' alligator skin
So he snuck in the swamp gonna get the boy
But he never came out again
Well, I wonder where the Louisiana sheriff went to
Heh heh
Well you can sure get lost in the Louisiana bayou
About forty-five minutes southeast of Thibodeaux, Louisiana
Lived a cat called Doc Milsap and his pretty wife Hannah
Well they raised up a son that could eat up his weight in groceries
Named him after a man of the cloth
Called him Amos Moses
Sit down on 'em Amos
Make it count son
About forty-five minutes southeast of Thibodeaux, Louisiana
Lived a man called Doc Milsap and his pretty wife Hannah...
4)cotton eye joe by: Rednex
If it hadn't been for cotton-eye joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from. Where did you go?
Where did you come from cotton-eye joe?
If it hadn't been for cotton-eye joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from. Where did you go?
Where did you come from cotton-eye joe?
If it hadn't been for cotton-eye joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from. Where did you go?
Where did you come from cotton-eye joe?
If it hadn't been for cotton-eye joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from. Where did you go?
Where did you come from cotton-eye joe?
If it hadn't been for cotton-eye joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from. Where did you go?
Where did you come from cotton-eye joe?
If it hadn't been for cotton-eye joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from. Where did you go?
Where did you come from cotton-eye joe?
He brought disaster wherever he went
The hearts of the girls was to hell broken sent
They all ran away so nobody would know
And left only men cause of cotton-eye joe
If it hadn't been for cotton-eye joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from. Where did you go?
Where did you come from cotton-eye joe?
If it hadn't been for cotton-eye joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from. Where did you go?
Where did you come from cotton-eye joe?
(solo)
He brought disaster wherever he went
The hearts of the girls was to hell broken sent
They all ran away so nobody would know
And left only men cause of cotton-eye joe
(solo)
If it hadn't been for cotton-eye joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from. Where did you go?
Where did you come from cotton-eye joe?
If it hadn't been for cotton-eye joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from. Where did you go?
Where did you come from cotton-eye joe?
(solo)
If it hadn't been for cotton-eye joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from. Where did you go?
Where did you come from cotton-eye joe?
If it hadn't been for cotton-eye joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from. Where did you go?
Where did you come from cotton-eye joe?
(solo)
If it hadn't been for cotton-eye joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from. Where did you go?
Where did you come from cotton-eye joe?
5)hardware store by Weird al yankovic
Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town
Feelin' low down (down) not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right out of my mind
Until a friend told me the news
He said, Hey! You know that vacant lot
Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it
And on that spot they're gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy bolts and screws
Since then I've been walking on air (air)
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care
I've been waiting since last June
For this day to finally arrive
I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive
'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside
Well, I hope they open soon
I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight
Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out
I pressed my nose right up against the glass
You know, I had to be first in line
Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom
Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house
See those hacksaws? Very, very soon
One of them will be all mine
Guys with nametags walking down the aisles
Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles
Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles
All arranged alphabetically
And they're doing a promotional stunt
There's a great big purple sign out front
That says every 27th customer
Will get a ball peen hammer free
I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
Would you look at all that stuff...
They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractors, shower rods and water meters
Walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifires
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables
Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles
Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
Metal roofing, waterproofing, multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers
I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
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