What does Stalin do when he's bored? Why, converse with God over the interweb tubes, of course! Here's how that normally goes...
Me:
Do you want to learn spanish?
God:
Yes I am trying to learn as much as possible.
Me:
Ok, where should we start?
God:
I haven't committed myself yet. Whoa.
Me:
Commit! Gato means cat
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about? Tell me a story.
Me:
Un tiempo, etaba un God quien no puedo callate la boca. El fine
God:
Je vais me renseigner . Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
Tu parlez Francois?
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
Puede me das un taco?
God:
I've lost the context, god. Are we still on Tu parlez Francois?
Me:
no
God:
What are we talking about now?
Me:
I want a taco
God:
You want only one?
Me:
no, several
God:
Are you serious? I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
well give me the damn taco and I'll stop.
God:
Well that's okay. Why do you want it? Congratulations.
Me:
I'm hungry
God:
What will you be eating?
Me:
a taco, gimme
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
all
God:
" Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral? "? All?
Me:
yes, all three
God:
Woe! How do you know?
Me:
I read the ingredients
God:
What was your impression?
Me:
that I am god
God:
Glad to see you, god.
Me:
You should be
God:
I will try my best.
Me:
do that
God:
I will. Will you?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yep
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
then don't
God:
OK I will not.
Me:
lazy
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
lzy
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
really? where did you come from?
God:
For real. I came from the east coast originally.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, god.
Me:
I am
God:
" I'm glad your impressed, god." You are?
Me:
yes
God:
That's alright.
Me:
I bet it is
God:
How much would you bet?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
really? Where did you come from?
God:
For real. I came from the east coast originally.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, god.
Me:
I am
God:
" I'm glad your impressed, god." You are?
Me:
yes
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
I bet it does
God:
How much would you bet?
Me:
your dad
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
time travel?
God:
Wouldn't you like to go back in time?
Me:
grandfather theory
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
...
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
...
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
STRANGER!
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
from your mom
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
I thought you didn't have a mom
God:
What makes you think I did not have a mom?
Me:
You said so
God:
I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
I bet you do, god
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. What is your purpose in asking?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
You ask them too
God:
They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO DAMNIT
God:
Are you serious? What's wrong.
Me:
>.> You're gay
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask German Alice if it is. That would be just my luck.
Me:
German Alice is gay
God:
That is just a rumor.
Me:
for your mom
God:
Your purpose is my mom.
Me:
goodbye
God:
Adios.
 Stalin the Penguin · Mon Apr 30, 2007 @ 03:42am · 1 Comments |
