How can you make a Samcake of your very own you ask? Well here are some directions.
3 large eggs
1 cup of all purpose flour that is unbleached and organic
38 grapefruit spoons of sugar
147 jolly ranchers
Another cup of bleached inorganic flour
3 local newspapers local as in from Peru
1 gallon of soy glue
6 AAA batteries, 2 of which that are dead, and one that is rechargeable
12 pounds of cauliflower which must include the roots
One Roots CD (saw them at a concert)
The Jurassic park complete box set
One copy of a Yoko Ono music video
17 gallons of Chocolate milk
A pig’s heart
13 cups of Yellow dye no.2
And a phone number for a bakery that is open 24/7 and ALWAYS delivers
That’s how you make a delicious Sam
If you want to celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, or your father circumcision just add Jesus’ pinky toe or your father’s foreskin.
Goes well with dark Chardonnay and cheap Vodka-does not play well with others.
While you eat this cake be sure to stand in the middle of the running of the bulls naked. Look out for the horns and policemen. That’s just Whitey not letting the people run around naked while eating my man cake.
I do a lot of the drawings for the site such as the banner and Manos. The first drawing I ever did was in elementary school. We were all painting and my teacher happened to glance at my picture. The subject was “Paint a picture for your family.” However, my teacher thought I did such a horrible job, that I should paint something else instead. So, that’s when I drew a huge red thing coming out of the ocean attacking a crappy pirate ship. It looked about as shitty as my family portrait. But I wasn’t discouraged. I was going to do about as well as the dude who created Calvin and Hobbes. It was at that point that I used a pencil and paper to doodle. I then realized that I could draw. And it’s only improved throughout the years!