On to the list:
Researchers and Personnel
Resident (Mad) Scientist/Scholar: Professor Mordarm
Name: Professor Mordarm
Codename: The Professor, The Mad One, The Bookworm, The Idiot, etc.
Quote: "Note to self: Subjects get angry when not fed regularly."
Professor Mordarm is a rather mellow fellow when not experimenting or doing
research on the latest subject of interest. Hobbies include music, reading, making clones, and
making the occasional doomsday device.
Name: Orianna Dulcina
Codename: The Questioning One
Quote: "And its name shall be A-Tb* #3." "Thats not a name." "I know a name when I see one. I am a Chemist."
This one came to my attention quite by happenstance.
While I was compiling my next set of chemicals I head a voice behind me saying I was doing it wrong.
After the sudden explosion was cleaned up (I was distracted) this quite Mad Chemist introduced herself.
Why do I call her mad? Well anyone who would dare to interrupt me in mid-testing qualifies for that title in certainty.
Smexy Lab Nurse:
Name: Morrighu
Codename: The "Helllloooo Nurse!"
Quote: "Touch me and gain a stump."
Well, like any master of mad science you need someone to take care of those inevitable injuries that one accumulates.
And with this lab that is more than common. Enter Morrighu: a very nice, sweet young lady who has a tendency to
kiss/lick "boo-boos" away than to use bandages. Strangely enough this seems to work more often than naught.
Must research this ability further. Some say that is this one the benefits of being a mad scientist/scholar. Who knows?
Disturbed Biologist:
Name: The Infamous Eternal Doom
Codename: TIED "Dye"
Quote: "Yes I am a talking toad. Try any funny business and I will eat j00"
Now why would I hire a talking toad? Well the question you should ask is why should I not hire
one? I think he will provide an unique viewpoint on the matter of DNA and mutation splicing.
Also he would make a great icebreaker in lab parties. I must remember that I need to order
more mayflies as well. Or would meal worms be appropriate? In any case I can't have a hungry
talking toad, can I?
Mad Psychologist:
Name: psychotic__Gal
Codename: The Head Gamer
Quote: "Hearing voices again? Oh don't worry. Those are normal."
Now psychotic__Gal became the only (living) person to try to analyze and question my mental
state. Her attempts to stick ink-blots to my face and ask really annoying questions would drive
me insane, if I was not already. So instead I let her loose on the other personnel, with their own
neurotic personalities, to keep her busy and distracted from me and my work. Though I have
to admit that is rather entertaining to watch her try to practice some "Shock Therapy" on some
of my more obtuse and resistant staff members/subjects of my laboratory.
Clumsy Surgeon:
Name: F r o z e n V i n e
Codename: Dr. Butterfingers
Quote: "Crap, I left my watch in him! Oh well."
Now I had my doubts when I first viewed this application at first but as I interviewed him my
impressions changed. I don't know if was the bleeding eye sockets on his face or his skill
(or audacity) to wield a katana like a scalpel. I will put him on a few of my more difficult
cases and see how he handles it. Maybe he will be able to solve the "extra limb" issues that
tend to plague my experiments.
Lab Assistant #1:
Name: poojuiceCodename: The Meddler
Quote: "The secret ingredient is LOVE!"
An apprentice mad scientist-in-training, poojuice works as my assistant in the laboratory.
He usually to go to the black market to pick up chemicals or to purchase a burger for lunch. But I find it
kind of strange that no matter what kind exposure he gets in the lab, he seems to be immune.
Maybe he should become my next test subject for my G-Force Generator. No, knowing him
he'll end up causing a mess in the lab again.
Trap Tester:
Name: Jiji le Meep
Codename: The Meep Maker
Quote: "Be alert. The world needs more alerts."
Now Jiji le Meep (formerly know as Miss Jii-ya) was initially my first live test subject for my
cure the dreaded "Meep Virus" (meepus virlentos). Unfortunately this tended the subject
the side effect of giving her purple (yet pleasing) polka dots. She somewhat took it personally
and proceeded to enter my lab unannounced. She tripped every trap and security measure I had,
even ones I did not know were still active. Miraculously enough she emerged unharmed (though
a little upset) and so to make it up to her I hired her on the spot as my new Trap Tester.
Hope she lasts for awhile.
Poison Tester:
Name: Tetsudai-chan
Codename: The Master Slacker
Quote: "My soul aches with grief… wait no, that’s just Maja torturing me again.”
Years of exposure has rendered Tetsu to have an ability to be near-immune to toxins that will kill
the normal lab monster. Because of this valued ability she had become my official Poison Tester
for many of my vile elixirs and potions. Unfortunately this had also caused her to develop a slow-moving
mentality and motivation to work. She has also has the develop an unexpected side-effect
to be unusually "tasty" to the critters and subjects in the lab, much to my amusement.
Lab Monster:
Name: Xenu The Almighty
Codename: Ol' Big Head
Quote: "What do you mean, get that out of my mouth? It's mine... mine I say!!!!"
Subject shows mental aberrations, believing itself to be the Galactic Ruler of the Universe.
Must be kept in glass cage, as creature's bodily fluids can melt almost everything else.
The creature is also kept for testing of physical effects from various prototype equipment.
However if anything indigestible needs disposing of, Subject is perfect for that. Including beef jerky.
Gender of Subject is unknown, thus the term "neuter" seems most appropriate, with the pronoun "It" used when referring to the Subject. Though with long hair I'll end up with a "Cousin It" lookalike instead.
Mascot (Guinea Pig):
Name: Pixelated Chibiety
Codename: The Uber-Cute One
Quote: "-Squeak- I don't appreciate being poked like that. And my tummy hurts."
Kept in a padlocked steel cage and on a steady diet of aspirin, this subject is used the most for experiments.
Though born in the local Pets R Us, year after year of testing and treatment gave rise to the ability to be fluent in 7 languages, including English and Latin. I have fondly named this subject Timmy shortly after purchasing it,
though I found out it is female shortly after; and it prefers to be called Chester.
I call it Timmy anyway. Though I like to think the contrary, this subject is prone to escape due to, quote, "abuse."
Mutant Test Subject A:
Name: Maja81
Codename: The Caffeine Bloodhound
Quote: "I don't have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine!"
This Subject had an unusual fondness for coffee and all things caffeinated.
Subject has also express the unique talent to find and access sources of caffeine when personal stores are low.
Despite several efforts to increase security in the lab,
Subject still is able to access my personal stores of coffee with little or no difficulty.
Will investigate if ability is able to be copied into other subjects via DNA experimentation.
Lab's Den Mother:
Name: Totally Not Gay
Codename: The Nagging Nanny
Quote: "Now just where do you think you're going with that, young man?"
Do you know of the sweet, little lady who comes in and plays with the infected lab rats?
The oblivious old woman who interrupts the evil genius as he is speaking to leaders of the free world
about his plans of world domination? Or freely tells about her evil genius (in front of said leaders)
about how his undies have just come out of the wash and to make sure he folds them.
A woman who keeps the lab sparkling cleans, bakes kick a** cookies but has no idea what
the experiments and cleans up the new life form because it was "icky?" This is such a woman (to my distress).
Footnote: Special thanks goes to Pixelated Chibiety for suggesting a large amount of Personnel positions here. I bow to her wit.
