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okay so your probably thinking that I'm going to tell you how happy I am with him....well Im not...

So it all started with a dream and i can't remmeber much of that dream but the one thing i do remmeber is kissing him (btw his name is jordan).....now after that i became more aware of him everywhere i went.Whenever he was sick i got worried and became sorta lonely...now at lunch he sat next to me and we would always talk and laugh and it was nice to see his smile i felt warm and calm being beside him.

Finally all of that was ruined....I told a couple people at the dance and they started telling everyone else..OMG i got so friggin upset because i didn't want to become distant with him....his friends probably made fun of him or something because........he became distant...And i hated it!!!

I finally gave up feeling guilty and wrote him a letter (knowing i couldnt summon the courage to speak with him, and i still can't) I told him i was sorry to cause him so much trouble...and after that we started talking abit more. I got curious and as they say curiousity killed the cat and well im the cat...I wrote another letter telling him that "yes i do like you" and i wanted to know if he liked me. A couple of days went on and he replied saying "i like you too smile " I was jumping for joy that day!!!! but it probably was also the chocolate he handed me with that letter that made me so hyper heart

well after that he started talking to me less.. and less i got confused and wrote him another letter and another until i got to the point that i was probably annoying him to high hell.

Its been two months and now he doesn't even talk to me and he sits at another table during lunch now. So i never talk to him ....Im scared to know what he's thinking but yet i want to know if he's just shy....or if hes playing games with my head......I want to think that his letter was the truth..but i don't know what to think anymore.....I never stop thinking about him and it drives me crazy (especially when I'm trying to do a test ;p)

I hope he does really like me........And i want to ask him I see him every morning during morning band practice but I'm very scared and For the people who know me Im not the type to be put down but yet Im being put down by something so scary im having nighmares about it.......I love Jordan, I really do and im crossing my fingers that he truly loves me too.....or maybe im just delutional. cry