It doesn't have to be perfect, just write.
everytime I hear from him, I think my heart breaks all over again. What's more, he won't directly write to me, but to all of his friends on here. I never understood if it was me who was avoiding him, or him avoiding me. Maybe neither of us knows what to say to the other, but I still have to try.
For all of my years I always let people close to me fade away, as if they never were. I lose touch with my friends and start over. And it never seemed to bother me; I'd move away, lose track of time to where I doubt adresses and phone numbers would still be the same, and then think that they probably wouldn't care to hear from me anyway.
I think I still act like this in some ways; am I just better at being alone?
I have trouble making friends and harder still to keep them.
But I will always hold some love for my old flame, no matter the passing of time nor in realizing the pain he has inflicted.
The heartache is in the sorrowful knowledge that what once was will never again be; it is in the nostalgia of every good memory, every secret, every connection that was made between you and the person that became so close to you, that it becomes painful to break that apart, and to try and forget all that.
Why can we not realize, that the past can never be the present, nor the future?
Of course people change, and our surroundings change, but we still stubbornly hold on to the past.
But we cannot move on this way, and we continue to feel hurt over and over again.
I think those who stay together for many years must accept the fact that one cannot stay the same forever, and that you cannot keep reliving the past, but rather you create new memories all the time.
And if the changes are too hurtful to bear, than all you can do is start over, and pray that wounds will heal with time.
archresskagome Community Member 
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