I left this in the comments of the previous entry. I figure it can be its own post too I also added some things. And deleted the comment and just made it a post here instead. just incase it's missed as its important to note.

When I share my thoughts I’m an open book. More so than most. Even as an adult. Most things I don’t mind sharing. And in the case of this journal. I don’t mind what the world knows. I’ve made private some things. As I should have probably held back on exposing some of what I did to the world the way I did. And at the same time, I don’t mind having my story out here now. I deliberated for a long time do I make my journal private.... do I keep it? Do I leave it alone and let it die? I shared so much on here before because I was at a breaking point in most of my friendships and in my life. As stated it was a place I put all my pain. I'm not proud of this its just what happened. At that time it was very hard to talk about conflict in my life..... in person or privately because it resulted in explosion or I would be invalidated and trash talked. Judged harshly. Or i often was told by some it was fine when it wasn't even when I would ask. I reached the level of I don’t care what people think..... as a safe guard back then and as a way to handle those issues because I felt trapped..... not proud of that and it’s just what happened. What I can do is authentically share now with positive intent of growth. leave this up for others growth too.continue my story or whatever I feel like sharing. now if I share I share openly. In hopes that my life inspires and provides hope in helping others know they are not alone in their struggles and insecurities. I will be the first to admit I was insecure back then. To me it takes strength to own up to your weaknesses. That is what I shall do. Treat this journal as a learning experience. How can I be better? How can we all grow together? Thats what this explores. Love to all!

Music: Nightwish - I want my tears back