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------You told me last night that they were important to you, and that you couldn't lose them. So you ran home to them to make things right again. I support every decision you make. A part of me doesn't understand though. Why you hold them in such high regard. I don't understand why they're so important to you. It clicked on me then, that I probably won't understand because I probably have never felt the way you felt towards someone before. I've always been alone. I've let friendships expire, and fade away. All my life I've just been hopping through different friend groups based on circumstances. Your friendships on the the other hand, they could last a lifetime. I could tell because of what you did last night. What you have is Selfless love.

------I envy that to be honest. I want friends that would last forever too but I know that won't happen. That will never happen with me because... I'm selfish. I'm afraid to let people in, because that they'll find out that I'm not real. And that they'll judge me for who I am and the things I've done.

------My name is Ani, and it is a name that I've given to myself. It is a name that I love and, it is a person who I love. I am Ani. I've learned to accept that a long time ago. I will never experience your level of friendship you had towards them because I never had people like that. I never had people worth losing myself towards for. What ever choices I make or have made whether I regret them or not, I accept them all. I'm selfish because I put myself and my wants first and foremost. Because I love myself and no one can shame me based on my decisions/regrets. Because I wouldn't let anyone dare to hurt Ani.

------But, I just want someone to love Ani as much as I do, but no one will ever love me as much as I do. I guess that makes me selfish. I guess I'll always be alone.

Thanks for listening, This is Anikacy, and remember to love yourself.