Author's Note: This is the second Character Situational piece, this time regarding how it is important to be sure of the wishes you wish to have granted, so as to avoid unintended consequences. Enjoy. smile
Be Careful What You Wish For
Simon wondered what exactly the package from his brother over in England was. The attached Customs form just said ‘Antique.’ Opening the top, he saw a bunch of packing peanuts, and as he reached his hand in, he felt something cold and hard. Metallic even. Wrapping his fingers around it, he drew the object out, a heavily tarnished brass oil lamp.
He set a few paper towels down for the lamp to sit on while he polished it. It began to shine once more as the tarnish was cleared away, exposing a bright golden-like hue beneath.
When he’d nearly finished with his polishing handiwork, the lamp suddenly seemed to shine even brighter. Suddenly, a voice seemed to come out of the lamp itself. No visible genie per say, however, it was interesting how only Simon could hear the voice, as his wife Charlotte seemed too engaged in her book.
“Ah, that’s better.” the voice said as it gave what sounded like a stretching groan, and similar in nature to that of Gilbert Gottfried’s voice. “I finally can enjoy the view out of my lamp again after having spent ages not being able to see out from all that tarnish. Some of you humans really are a pain to work with. Where am I? Dammit! I want my agent! I never signed up to be treated by humans as just a plain old lamp. I expected the glitz and glamor of the theatrical life… Man, the Roman Empire sure treated me with better respect than that cocky and arrogant Shakespeare ever did.”
“Did you hear that?!” Simon asked Charlotte.
“Hear what?” she replied, looking over at him.
“That voice just now.”
“No, I didn’t.” she responded, seemingly disinterested, before returning to her book.
“Don’t pay attention to her right now. She’s not important. Listen only to me.” the lamp said with conviction. “I suppose that I will allow you some wishes in return for freeing your new master—I mean friend—from his bonds. Uh… Yeah. Let’s go with three wishes.”
Thinking that this was some sort of joke, Simon then said “Alright. For my first wish then, I would like you to tell me who you are.”
“Well, that’s rather pathetic, but a wish is a wish. The name’s Nero, just like that of the greatest emperor to ever lead Rome back in its hay day. I’ve lived comfortably in this lamp for thousands of years, which is similar I suppose to the tale of the old lady who lived in a shoe. Alright then. Next wish please…and be quick about it. I’ve got a world of fame and fortune to conquer. Hollywood has never seen talent quite like me.”
“Um… I wish…” Simon thought. He knew from stories like the Monkey’s Paw, and movies like ‘The Wishmaster,’ that one should be careful about the wishes they make. “I wish that my younger sister Haylee could own her very own brand-new red Lamborghini Aventador.”
“Done. She now owns a brand-new red Lamborghini Aventador. Granted, it’s only a simple children’s model which one can get from Amazon.”
“Dammit!” Simon muttered. “I should’ve been more careful. Still, I’m sure she’ll appreciate that it’s the thought that counts.”
“Right. Only one more to go. And make it quick. I need everyone to worship me as the greatest idol of all time.”
“Well, the first two were ill-planned.” Simon thought as he considered his final wish, before he then got an idea. “Alright then. For my final wish, I would like unlimited wi-”
“Hold it! No wishing for additional wishes beyond the three which I had offered to you.”
“Worth a try, I suppose.” He thought again, however Simon just couldn’t think of anything right now. “I wish that I knew what to wish for…” he muttered, unaware that he had just made his final wish.
“Okay, that’s the third wish, and it’s granted. You should’ve gone and wished to be a deity among all life.” The lamp then paused for a quick second before continuing. “And with than, I am now free! Thus, I bid you adieu.” With that, the lamp vanished, leaving Simon completely in shock over the whole situation.
“Well, at least I didn’t wish for anything that could have been a disaster for me or my family.” he said, looking at the bright side of it all.
Meanwhile, upstairs in her bedroom, Simon’s older daughter Sarah was busy doing her homework, when there came the sound of a loud clunk in her closet, as if something had just fallen. Getting off her bed, she made her way over and opened the door, before seeing a shiny oil lamp on the carpeted floor.
“Where did this come from,” she wondered as she picked the lamp up.
There was the sound of coughing before a voice much like that of Gilbert Gottfried’s was heard.
“Say, uh, you wouldn’t happen to know how to get to Hollywood, would you? If you help me out, I’ll even give you three wishes. How does that sound?”
Waffle King Richard · Fri Jun 07, 2019 @ 05:50pm · 0 Comments |