The tears keep coming. For the past five days I have not been able to stop crying. My soul is torn apart. What once seemed safe feels distant. I hate crying. When I cry I feel weak, and when I feel weak I feel like hurting myself. If I hurt myself though, they win. They win because they were able to destroy me. So I have to stay strong. I have to fight back the tears. I have to show a smile, even though inside I'm dying. I have to believe I can get through this. If I lose all hope, what's the point then? I can't let them destroy me. How can I be there for others if I'm gone? What kind of message does it send to those who have no fight left? That we can just quit life? No. That's not the message I want to send because that's not an option. So I have to stay strong. For those who are counting on me. For those who need to know it's possible to come out of this alive. So I will fight back the tears. I'll bury my emotions until there is a time I can freely let them out without the fear of hurting myself.