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My love, where are you now?
My love, you said you'd be here.
So where are you my love?
We waited so long for this day.
Today, we finally run away together.
Or, at least, we were supposed to.
You said, long ago,
if there ever was a time that I truly needed you,
you would be there.
But you aren't.
Oh my love, why aren't you here?
I stand alone in the night,
people pass me by,
looking, as people do,
and passing on silently.
My love, I am scared.
Where are you?
Why aren't you here by my side?
Why aren't we half the way to anywhere already.
I wait alone in the darkness,
my heart slowly succumbing to sorrow and darkness.
Suddenly, a noise brings my eyes up to you.
Finally, my love, my heart sings at your arrival...
then falters.
Something is wrong.
Your head facing downward,
you're slouched?
"L-love?..... What's wrong?"
I come closer, but hesitate.
Scared.
Is that a dripping sound?
No.....
My eyes finally take in the scene before me and I step back in fear and non-acceptance.
My mind works so slowly, it's annoying.
Shot.
You've been.......shot.
Why? How?
You fall to your knees in front of me.
Before I can think, I go to your side.
I catch you before you fall to the ground completely.
I'm holding you now, trembling as I do so.
You close your eyes for a few seconds but it feels an eternity to me.
But you look so peaceful.
Oh by the gods, no.........
Timidly, I stroke your cheek.
My body is working on it's own.
My mind feels afar from it all.
You finally open your eyes.
Your beautiful eyes.
I gaze in and I find myself kissing you.
My body stopped trembling.
I return to my body partially.
Enough to feel your breathe and to smell your scent.
Your intoxicating scent.
But now isn't the time.
You look up into my eyes as I cradle your head in my lap.
You look so sad and I see the pain in those eyes that I love.
It breaks my heart but I continue to stroke your hair,
hoping that I'm adding the slightest comfort to your pain.
I'm waiting for you to speak.
To say something.
Just to hear your voice.
As if reading my thoughts,
you smile and sigh happily.
But what is there to say?
How long will you stay in this world for me?
Minutes, hours, days, a week or two?
No, not that long.
I look up at the starry night sky as tears fall from my eyes.
I sigh and I begin to talk.
I start talking about how much I love you,
then I start talking about when we first met.
All the while, you lay in my lap, silently listening.
When my tears finally fall from my face and land on my leg, you reach up to my face.
I grab your hand and hold it to my cheek.
My tears won't stop.
"My love...."
you say those simple words and I begin to sob.
It's too much.
What am I going to do?
You wrap your arms around me and I sob even more.
"You can do this. I know you can. Please. You can do this."
"No, not without you. No, what am I going to do without you?"
Silence and then a single word.
"Live."
I say nothing but continue to sob.
You just hold me close.
"Don't leave me. Please. We're supposed to leave together. It's not supposed to be like this. Don't. Just don't go."
"I love you."
You hold me like a child and I sob like an infant whose parent's just died.
"Tell me you love me." I hear you say.
"I love you. Don't go. I love you so much. Don't....."
"Remember, I'll always love you. Nothing can stop that. Not even death. But you have to live. Live. Don't let me be the end of you. Promise me you'll live."
"No, please, no........."
"Please?"
You look into my eyes and plead with your eyes.
Finally, I nod. I kiss you and say quietly, "Okay. I promise."
You smile and you sigh.
"Thank you."
And you close your eyes.
I start to sob again and hold you tight as your grip loosens on me.
We stay that way until morning.
Somebody must have called the police because an ambulance showed up.
All I could do was cry and watch as they took you from me.
I can't even get up for a long time.
I just want to curl up and cry myself to death.
But I promised.
So I finally stand.
I look around me.
I wipe my tears away and sigh.
And I start to walk.
Walk away from it all.
As if it was all just a bad dream.
 Ayala55 · Wed Nov 17, 2010 @ 11:39pm · 0 Comments |
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