Well here I am writing in this thing again. I have neglected it for so long but it doesnt really matter anyway again no one reads it. I go on about that to much. But anyway moving away from the obvious.....I think this kid in my social studies class said the most weirdest thing to me today. He told me that he used to have a crush on me. I'm actually consider this guy one of my best guy friends. But thats all I have ever considered him as....Ever. He used to hit me alot and we only had one class together last year and only one this year as well. But the whole thing sounded funny because of 2 reasons. 1 being no one ever says it like that anymore (when there being serious) I think and I say I think because of 2 which is no one has ever in my whole life said anything like that to my face. Not even my boyfriend sweatdrop And I dont even know if he was being serious. He kept telling me to look in his eyes to see if he was lying but that really didnt help at all I was so embaressed. Ugh and to make it worse are you ready my only friends in that class where guys and one of them annoys me to no end. He doesnt mean to at all but ugh I just want him to LEAVE ME THE F**K ALONE!!!!! But back to the main topic here they obviously did not understand my embaressment at all. and the whole class time the kid was calling me cute and pretty. and theeeeeeen the worst part. He explained to me why he NO LONGER HAD A CRUSH ON ME................*warning im about to open a huuuuge can of sarcasim* Apparently im not as cute anymore. The course of a year must have done some maaaaajor damage to my skin oh and my nails must have gotten worse and blah blah blah! I WAS NEVER CUTE DAMN IT AND I DONT SAY THIS TO GET ATTENTION. I DONT WANT YOUR F*****G PITY I WANT YOU TO ACCEPT IT BECAUSE ITS THE TRUTH! I AM FAT I DO BITE MY NAILS SO THERE HORRABLY SHORT MY ARMS ARE HAIRY AS HELL MY FACE ALWAYS HAS A FUNNY LOOK TO IT AND MY HAIR IS A COMPLETE B***H! I ACCEPT IT THOUGH IM PERFECTLY OK WITH IT!!!!!! But you all lie to me and tell me im "cute and adoriable" EVERYDAY!!! I know its not true. God it amazes me how I have friends much less a boyfriend! but ya main topic again. Why would you even tell me that you used to have a crush on me? I actually hear that alot and I think most of the time its out of pity... again I DONT WANT IT!!!! but it really hurts. I dont care that you USED to what about now?? what did I do wrong?? Whats wrong with me?? Did I make you mad?? Im sorry really?? What is it that I did though?? your still my friend I dont want to hurt you! Why WHY are you telling me this?? Are you trying to hurt me?? Is this payback?? Revenge?? Whatever it is... Its working. And What about the way I changed made me worse?? Should I change back?? will people hate me if I do change?? apparently I already changed but I never noticed. How did you notice I only saw you once a day for a half hour and we barely ever talked normally you where always hitting me? AND WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY LEGS!?!?!??!? YA THERE COVERED IN SCARS I FALL ALOT I GET BIT BY BUGS ALOT TO!!! YOU STILL PET THEM THOUGH WHY THE F**K DO YOU EVEN PET THEM. And ya I understand that Me having a boyfriend kinda doesnt help but you know I only saw him once a day to and I still only see him once a day. (I am not encouraing cheating on my boyfriend lol i loooove him I just think this guy gives up easily) And this weird freak that after all the crying he made me do is still gonna be my friend told me that he has another crush (and I know the girl she is amazing XD) but wont ask her out so he can hit on women............. I question my friends. Some of them are just more trouble than there worth. I still Love them all though equally to. Theres just different catagories that they all fit into.