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I almost always forget I have a journal. = 3=;;;;

*meh*

Well, I can say one thing: As long as I know I'm loved by someone, I'm good. :3
It's weird, though. I got this text from one of my friends saying that they like me how I am and they don't want me to change, I've felt different towards myself. O 3O;;; I'm not even doing it on purpose, either, it just happened.

I have such low self-esteem and I'll admit, certain areas on me look a bit chubby, but I call myself fat. >.>;;;;

I don't do that any more unless it's in a joking way. O.o;;;;

Well, there's that and I've been so much happier lately. O.o;;;;;

I should be sad (for reasons that I won't discuss =X ) but I'm not. I'm.... Content. Satisfied, I guess.

I mean, well... I guess you can say I screwed my possibly only chance but some how... I'm fine with that. I'm not even sad about it, I'm... content?

God, I really don't know how to put it except like that. Or maybe the term is relieved that I've even had a chance in the first place.

Remember when you were little and you saw something in the toy store but your parents said no, not right now? Well, then you wait 2-3 years and you still want it. You ask them again and they say yes and you're so excited, but they get you a boot-leg version of it or then it breaks. . _ . You're so upset and ask for another or something and they say yes, but then you can't find it ever again. Yeah... That's the best way I can put it. But then they say they'll keep looking for it and you're satisfied with that. Yeah... That's the best way I can put it into words without really saying anything.

*nod nod*

I guess... Well, the little things have always counted to me, but I never knew just a few words would change my whole perspective on myself. I guess friends really do change you.

So if you ever get into a fight with someone you really, really care about, just remember the good times before you ******** up your whole friendship.
heart Nya