..... I dont understand anything anymore .... just for the mere fact i love this guy, who no doubt is a total errrr.. i forgot whati was going to say ... but he made me fel loved and all that other happie go jolly shyt ...but to face reality when psh came to shove ...or when it came to the time i needed him most i cant have him... our parents dont want us together... we were going for about ..hmm almost 11 months .. i thought he was the one ... i wanted him to be.. hes not perfect in any way.. but he perfect for me .. hes everything i have well most things i have always wanted in a guy.. i still say its sad how i fall for the bad boys .... * am laughing as am thing of what to write next* .. i remember almost everything we have been through... most of them make me smile.. or vlush.. am big on the whole blushing thing. lol.. its not my fault.. its his.. he did it not me .. eh heh .. but theres only like 2 things that i have actually cried ....wait... wait..no there have een a couple times that i have cried bc of him.. well things about him.. but err its hard to explain... WELL NOW FOR REALITY .... its been a long time since i have seen him last.. i have many dreams of him.. i wake up at night and cry... i use to wear a band that he gave me ... but it hurt me more to no that everyday i wake up i dont get to see him to feel him.. * think am going to cry lol* he always put a smile on my face even when i was mad or sad .* smiles at the thought*when i needed him he was there but now hes not...i live 2 fukkin hours away...i would give anything to see him again to be with him again... ok but eah back to what i was saying.. i dont wear the band anymore.. because it hurts alot.. he tells me one day that we should take a brake and get back together in a month or so ... but to hear that made me thing that hes just saying were over.. i hate myself for waiting for him.. because i dont think that he'll be with me .... he wrote me something a letter .... it was nice i still have it i dont no why... i read it but it just makes me cry.. (not like he'll read this but ).... Andrew Teeluck you taught me how to love but you never showed me how to stop.... you still have my heart... i feel so cold inside am still waiting for the day i die... but i need my heart to succeed ... when are you going to give it back. why did i hve to fall in love with you. just ...why cant you tell me you never loved me .. maybe just maybe then i could get on with my life .. crying gonk confused
luv is never fair u can never be loved more then another ....... we r never equal....... u just can happen to love if u hate soooooooooo much shall always livein hell
 LaDy_LuNa_1229 · Sat Dec 12, 2009 @ 06:08pm · 0 Comments |
