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for geebus's sake JUST BECAUSE I'M GAY DOESN'T MEAN I CRUSH ON EVERY GIRL I MEET. get. this. through. your. heads.
i bet i can't even say that i like 3% of the girls i meet, and three is my favorite number!!!!!
i swear if i DO like you it will go like this:
a) you don't like me back. i assume this from the very beginning, so i don't do anything. i completely and totally ignore the fact that i'm attracted to you, but seriously, i can't control it if you wind up in any of my dreams (not that all of you do!!)
b) you do like me back!! d00d just tell me. you don't even HAVE to tell me. i can totally deal with playful flirting, and who needs a "do you like me?" stage anyway? just ask to go somewhere with me but call it a date, and i'll get yo drift. n_n
if you like me:
a) you're a guy. zomg i'm so so so sorry ;______; i'm really comfortable around you, probably, but just because i'm okay/enjoy hugging you (hey guys can be snuggly!) doesn't mean i like you. just be laid back, and for gah's sake don't try to impress me @___@ most guys that do that get all...weird. i end up avoiding them. it's freakin' weird. guys feel like brothers to me. tell me, how would YOU feel if YOUR brother had a crush on you? yeah.
b) you're a girl. i may like you, but like i said, i'm not attracted to every girl i meet. @_@ if i do though then you look at the previous b. if i don't, then i may or may not hug/flirt?! back. my definition of flirting varies, but it often involves somewhat excessive touching, as in touching you a lot/hugging you a lot/whacking you(but i do this with friends too grawr i'm a girl & complicated rolleyes ). but i promise you i'd turn you down as nicely as possible, and it wouldn't change our friendship at all(or i'd do my best to not let it). i wouldn't let you touch me any less or anything.
geebus. you guys can get so confused. >_>
just a lil note: i usually get along better with laid back people. boy or girl, you'll probably be one of my closer friends if you don't worry about a lot of stuff. i'm pretty sure this is the main reason most of the time i find myself hanging around guys. @___@ it's okay to worry, i guess(attempting to clarify), but i mean like.... you don't let little things make you explode? note that this is USUALLY. i have some really good emotional friends. idk. i just felt like putting it out there.
i bring this up because apparently according to someone i'm gay because i've kissed a girl before?!?!?!? WHAT KIND OF LABEL IS THAT .____. what is your definition of gay, guys, srsly?!?! the closest i've ever gotten to that was when my bestestestest friend (at the time) came over after we hadn't seen each other for a full year, and she kissed my cheek. and how old were we? 8? 9? geez.
some people also think it's a choice and just assume that i can change my mind whenever i want .____. no? just no? if i've got a crush on someone i certainly CAN ignore it, but why would that stop me from having dreams about them? why would it stop me from spacing out, and then finding that i'm pretty much ogling them? if i DON'T have a crush on someone what do you want me to do? "oh gee he sure is hot i want dat heart " >___> no not really. i'd be lying to myself. try ogling your brother sometime, and you'll know what i mean. TALK ABOUT A TURN-OFF.
or, maybe, let's say he wasn't a brotherly figure at all. let's say he's a big fat jerk. could YOU be attracted to a big fat jerk? mr. yates worded it really spiff-ily, something like "you're hot but you're a JELLYFISH!" you know? how jellyfish are pretty but then their stings have been known to kill yeah ._. i can certainly think that a guy is attractive-looking(not that i want him. i haven't WANTED a guy in well forever), and then you know what? i often find out that he's gay.
and gahhh. > neutral one of my biggest pet peeves is that if you find out i'm gay, you think i'm gonna rape you or something crazyinsane like that. since when do i have no self control? if i ever snap at someone it's because i'm cutting myself a break, and i probably have pre-monster-syndrome. even if i DO have a crush on you, i swear if you find my hugging you suddenly uncomfortable, just tell me so and i'll stop. easy as that.
but really. "i'm sorry but i can't spend the night at your house anymore because i think it'd be awkward."
...srsly?
& then my own parents even doubt me. they actually considered the idea that girls aren't allowed to spend the night at my house anymore, nor guys. DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS TO MY CHILDHOOD? do you know any high schoolers that have gone through high school without a single sleepover!! apparently guys might ~~do something~~ or, in their words, it's not ~~socially acceptable~~. and then they also think that if a girl spends the night at my house we're gonna end up making out or something crazy like that. ohmygod i know ONE bisexual girl in the whole school, not a single lesbian. i don't even like her that way. and they actually think i'm that crazyinsane, to start making out at 1am with a girl that's spending the night for the first time THAT'S STRAIGHT?! WHAT. what. I AM NOT A RAPIST OKAY? I'M NOT EVEN A KISS..IST. i'm not going to assault you!!!
& THEN because i'm so comfortable around guys people think i'm slutty or something crazy like that. ahahahawut? really? a freshman slut? yeah, i've heard of it happening, and kind of distantly know one, but what the fish. i like hugs. i like snuggly hugs. and you know what those are? THEY'RE HUUUUUUGS. yeah let's have hugsexahahano. what the bageebus is hugsex o_o maybe i'll catch a disease from you, known as cooties. >_> HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A FRIENDLY PERSON?
yeah. okay. phewwww. venting sure takes a lot of energy @_@ i'm going to bed. or not. idk. w00t.
 Anna Godly · Sat Oct 24, 2009 @ 06:55am · 0 Comments |
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