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Different Perspective on Life |
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I am amazed at the change in my life, and outlook.
I was positive before, but now it's just.. emphasized so.. -wow-! lol. I feel so much happier and fluffier than before, rofl. I thoroughly love and enjoy it, and don't understand those that are freaked out by the nice people like myself. Being optimistic and happy-go-lucky is, in my opinion, the way to go. Letting everything slide off your shoulders, only allowing some things to pierce your anger or sadness or whatever... and generally not even for that long. So wonderful feeling. smile razz I enjoy that side of me, lol. 4laugh ;
On to the purpose now. sweatdrop redface xd
When I was really young (around 5..) I was super out going and lively/friendly/open... though that was primarily with those I felt comfortable with, or close to. Then I slowly lost that and it was just with those I was reallyyy close to (best friends). Then I retreated inside and became shy. I only opened up to one person, truly opened up to them, in Junior high. As soon as that friendship died, and the others linked to it as a result with it, I became even more shy than I was before. Painfully so, rather. It was disgraceful, really. No one should have the misfortune of being so lonely and reserved. It's such a hollow and empty life.
I had thought I was happy then and such, at least happy enough to consider myself feeling happy, lol. It helped that I was so open and had so many wonderful friends online. smile
Upon high school, I met a wonderful friend, but I was still painstakingly shy after all my years of shyness, that I was too afraid to let her in, certain that, like the friendships before, ours would end. Thankfully, it hasn't. In fact, it's grown and I've added to my friendship circle a little (sort of), and have been becoming more open like I once was. Part of my openness is, of course, due to my friend.
The other half is thanks to one particular college class in particular. My listening skills class. It has provided me with a confidence I would not have believed possible to achieve simply through listening! It has taught me soo much, and led me to dream of dreams I never would have imagined or thought of, were it not for this class. I am still struggling with keeping it up, with all the poor listeners around, and some bad habits (computer talking), still in tact.... but the change it has provided me is so incredible. Before I loved the world, but I never truly saw it. Now I am truly, deeply in love with the world, and see all of it clearly. I have opened my eyes more than I thought possible. I no longer look down (or rarely, if for long look down), while I walk... Instead, I face the world, dead on... or up towards the sky and glorious trees, pleased with the picturesque images planted before my eyes. Basking in the radiant glow of the world that I took for granted for so long...and am sure I still am... There is so much to see in this life, so many things to observe.... how did I ever let myself get so self-conscience and afraid of being seen and seeing, that I stopped looking (except when I felt more open- typically when I thought no one was around, or I was walking)? Truly amazing. I hope I continue to grow openly, into what I dream, instead of retreating inside myself in rejection, fear, failure, etc..... For that world, is a lonely, boring one.... that I wish not return to.
The rest of it, I have learned through my personal studies, of trying to make myself a better, more interesting and worthwhile person. Where I have learned a few key tricks that have helped open up worlds to me, where I would still be lost in loneliness had I not learned how to master these techniques. For I would still make all the wrong signals and, though at times I may have tried to seem more approachable, I was too shy and self conscience to truly be so. So, thank goodness for this new perspective! The world seems a much brighter, better place than ever, despite these dark times!
Some people fall in love with love and people..... But I, I have truly fallen in love with the world/Earth/Life itself. biggrin
 *whispers softly in your ear*Can I KeepYou?Hold me close,
Kiss me passionately,
Weaken me slowly,
Love me deeply, heart
heart Show me that you want me & you'll never let me go,
& I promise I'll do the same. AimiToraChouKokoro · Tue Oct 06, 2009 @ 06:46am · 0 Comments |
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