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I MAED YOU A DRABBLE, AND I POSTEDE IT |
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Painfully Tripping, a KiwixSatu fic
Satu tripped along furtively. He was on his way to meet his lover, Kiwi, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a bunny hopping along, carrying a balut in its mouth.
Satu was almost with a bucket of soup when he came across a hopeful cake, lying alone on a sleepy plate. "That must be a treat from my glorious bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked feathery, so he ate it.
It gave him the most 2D tingling sensation in his eye. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Kiwi.
When Kiwi came out to meet him, she took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Satu cried eagerly.
"Your back! And your forehead!" Kiwi said. "They're red! Can't you feel it?"
Satu felt his back and his forehead. They were indeed quite red. "Oh, no!" Satu said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that hopeful cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Kiwi said. "I got you a coin. It must have been that Corinthian man who lives nearby. He acts a little joyfully, ever since he danced a pixel."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Satu sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Kiwi said snarkily, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your back is really slick like that."
"Really?" Satu dried her tears. Satu kissed Kiwi and it was an entirely jibbering sensation, entwined as tightly as that two-flavor entwined string cheese that is orange and yellowish-white, the orange probably being a bland Cheddar and the white … Mozzarella, although it could possibly be Provolone or just plain American, as it really doesn't taste distinctly dissimilar from the orange, yet they would have you believe it does by coloring it differently.
They spent the night having entirely jibbering sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
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The Miracle Of The Puppy, a Mon/Woru fic
Woru hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like one was a colony of E. coli, and the other was room-temperature pork chops.. He loathed it.
Every December, Woru would feel himself getting all holy inside. He refused to put up a Christmas egg, he snapped at anyone pretty enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, Woru had to go to the mall to buy a wibbly-wobbly baptism. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing softly around and so much Christmas music blaring quickly, he thought his hair would explode.
Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a swooshy man collecting for charity. Woru never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the swooshy man dropped his bells and ran on a ********' boat. There was a sparkly puppy right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the swooshy man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Woru rushed out and sadly pushed them both out of the way. There was a carrot-like bang and then everything went dark.
When Woru woke up, he was in a glowing room. There was a Christmas egg in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Woru's freckle hurt. A lot.
The swooshy man came into the room. "I'm so spiky!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Mon. You saved me from the truck. But your freckle is broken."
Woru hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas egg up and his freckle was broken, he felt quite white, especially when he looked at Mon.
"Your freckle must hurt scratchily," Mon said. "I think this will help." And he hugged Woru several times.
Now Woru felt very white indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Mon. "I love you," he said, and kissed Mon squeamishly.
"I love you too," said Mon. Just then, the puppy ran into the room and nuzzled Woru's nose. "I brought him home with us," Mon said.
"We'll call him Miracle," Woru said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.
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MAKE YER OWN HERE.
 Chili Cheese Danish · Sun Aug 23, 2009 @ 04:27am · 1 Comments |
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