Today has proven how simply smeone can make their life so "depressing"
I guess I'm going to do what Aerean did, ignore shina.
But I'll wait until she can see that she has a perfect life. > . >
BIG ******** WHOOP. Amber didn't want to be her friend anymore.
Hmmm... Let's go take pills and cut myself to make it all better! C:
I cling to people, so it's hard for me!
Oh my god, life isn't crappy because of that. Life goes on.
Friends come and go.
Something I learned at a young age.
I'm surprised that I even try to keep contact with everyone anymore! >:0
But I actually thought that we would all stay friends forever. Everyone would stay the same! Happy and together.
******** that. > . >
Obviously, things don't turn out right.
I understand Heigher's situation, living the way she does, having to deal with her parents all the time.
And I understand what Aerean is going through. What happened and everything. To have someone do that to you, it scarrs you mentally and emotionally. I can't even stand it sometimes. But I don't cut myself. I don't take pills. I don't live in a worl of depression JUST because of that!
If there's one thing that I have taught anyone, it was to be posative despite the odds.
Heigher said that when I showed up, she wasn't invisable anymore, I made her happier.
Aerean too, I made her happy as well. I made her smile and such. > w >
And I miss the old Shina, happy all the time. Making jokes to make us laugh. Doing funny things. XD I miss those days...
But seriously?
All because of some stupid person?
I would understand if maybe you were friends with that person for a long time, but it didn't seem that long. > . >
but whatever.
Obviously everything I tried and said to shina wouldn't get her to stop.
She said it did matter to her but it didn't because she only cares that Heigher is doing things so she has to. Or some nonsense like that.
I give up on her.
I hate to.
All this time, having to hear her talk about how horrible her perfect little life is, I just couldn't stand it anymore.
How selfish could you be?
Yes, I must admit that I cling to my past, I don't let go of things. But atleast I don't let it drag me down. Unless my memories were to pop up then there's no hope. But I don't try to bring everyone around me down with me! I don't push people away. I listen, try to assure, and make people happy. That's all I do. I befriend people, though I suck at making them happy at sad moments...
But whatever.
Right now, I only feel that I can only talk to Heigher, Aerean, and Choya about things. Possibly Mikoto, but I still don't know a lot of things...
Even though Aerean hasn't been around that much, but i still trust her more than anyone else.
Yes, I've missed out on a lot when I moved. But no one tells me anything.
So I'm left in the dark while everyone else fights.
But it's not my place anymore.
Though, I do feel lonely sometimes.
Seeing that I have limited times to talk to Heigher.
I gave up on Shina.
Choya has his on life to worry about. And Mikto doesn't have her phone.
Aerean, well she hasn't really ben around.
And I can't just text one of my friends from my school, they'll have no ******** clue about what the hell I'm talking about. D:
Uhg....
Anywho, for those who actually give a s**t, I dunno. Do whatever.
I just feel,sad. >///> I hate saying it. I feel selfish. D:
- - -
On the brightside, we got an aiirconditioning until to cool down our house! ; w ;
Well, the main part of it... D:
Not my room. -_-;
But! When I get money from my baysitting job, I'll by myself a fan! >:3
And go from there....
Errr.... see ya.
I guess I'm going to do what Aerean did, ignore shina.
But I'll wait until she can see that she has a perfect life. > . >
BIG ******** WHOOP. Amber didn't want to be her friend anymore.
Hmmm... Let's go take pills and cut myself to make it all better! C:
I cling to people, so it's hard for me!
Oh my god, life isn't crappy because of that. Life goes on.
Friends come and go.
Something I learned at a young age.
I'm surprised that I even try to keep contact with everyone anymore! >:0
But I actually thought that we would all stay friends forever. Everyone would stay the same! Happy and together.
******** that. > . >
Obviously, things don't turn out right.
I understand Heigher's situation, living the way she does, having to deal with her parents all the time.
And I understand what Aerean is going through. What happened and everything. To have someone do that to you, it scarrs you mentally and emotionally. I can't even stand it sometimes. But I don't cut myself. I don't take pills. I don't live in a worl of depression JUST because of that!
If there's one thing that I have taught anyone, it was to be posative despite the odds.
Heigher said that when I showed up, she wasn't invisable anymore, I made her happier.
Aerean too, I made her happy as well. I made her smile and such. > w >
And I miss the old Shina, happy all the time. Making jokes to make us laugh. Doing funny things. XD I miss those days...
But seriously?
All because of some stupid person?
I would understand if maybe you were friends with that person for a long time, but it didn't seem that long. > . >
but whatever.
Obviously everything I tried and said to shina wouldn't get her to stop.
She said it did matter to her but it didn't because she only cares that Heigher is doing things so she has to. Or some nonsense like that.
I give up on her.
I hate to.
All this time, having to hear her talk about how horrible her perfect little life is, I just couldn't stand it anymore.
How selfish could you be?
Yes, I must admit that I cling to my past, I don't let go of things. But atleast I don't let it drag me down. Unless my memories were to pop up then there's no hope. But I don't try to bring everyone around me down with me! I don't push people away. I listen, try to assure, and make people happy. That's all I do. I befriend people, though I suck at making them happy at sad moments...
But whatever.
Right now, I only feel that I can only talk to Heigher, Aerean, and Choya about things. Possibly Mikoto, but I still don't know a lot of things...
Even though Aerean hasn't been around that much, but i still trust her more than anyone else.
Yes, I've missed out on a lot when I moved. But no one tells me anything.
So I'm left in the dark while everyone else fights.
But it's not my place anymore.
Though, I do feel lonely sometimes.
Seeing that I have limited times to talk to Heigher.
I gave up on Shina.
Choya has his on life to worry about. And Mikto doesn't have her phone.
Aerean, well she hasn't really ben around.
And I can't just text one of my friends from my school, they'll have no ******** clue about what the hell I'm talking about. D:
Uhg....
Anywho, for those who actually give a s**t, I dunno. Do whatever.
I just feel,sad. >///> I hate saying it. I feel selfish. D:
- - -
On the brightside, we got an aiirconditioning until to cool down our house! ; w ;
Well, the main part of it... D:
Not my room. -_-;
But! When I get money from my baysitting job, I'll by myself a fan! >:3
And go from there....
Errr.... see ya.
Community Member
Hey, Masha. I'm sorry that I haven't really been there to talk to you. There are some days where I could only get on in the morning and some days when I could get on all day.
I gave up on Shina with the same reason you did. She always assumes the wrong things. She thinks she's loosing everything but she isn't. She still has her family to care about her. Same with everyone else, and yes, including me. I've even talked to mom a bit about my problem with Aniki and she would quietly listen to me.
I'm sorry if I was one of the reasons of making you feel lonely. I know what it feels like. sweatdrop
But.....Masha.. Let me tell you something.
It's okay to be a little selfish. Being at least a little selfish can be good for you. At least state out your real feelings so that everyone can know what you're going through.
Through this journal, you've made me realize a few things and now I kinda realize what I was doing was kinda wrong. XP
But I for one don't want to be a burden to anyone. That' why I decided to stand on the side lines and watch everyone right there. I'll go at my own pace while trying to keep up with everyone and help in any way that I can.
Once again, I'm sorry for not being there to talk to you and all.
~Aer-Chan