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Chasing Dreams and memories |
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I came as a stranger, expecting little. My expectations have only decreased. All I ask, all I want, is for you to remember me fondly after I have gone. I’ll forget, I know I will. I want to forget, to let the memories and the pain wash away. I want to let the distance come between us, I want to forget, there’s so much that I want to forget, need to forget. I have yet to see a place that doesn’t look better looking back. Through the rearview window things always look better. I want to look back through the window and see this place fading in the distance. I need the distance, and the time it brings. I’ve always been a stranger, I’ll be a stranger somewhere else. I want to go home. You tell me home is here, you say my family is here, you say my friends are here. My family is scattered to the four winds, and I have friends everywhere. I make friends easily. My home is where I make it. Maybe it’d be better if I didn’t, I wouldn’t cause so much pain. I can’t help it. I’m like the bird that you found in the yard, injured, the one you cared for, and loved, the one that got better and flew away. I’m like the bird, I fly away. I always do, always. I’m a hard person to hold onto, like trying to catch moonbeams in your hand. We laughed and loved together, sure I know. Good memories, good times, I’ll remember those. But there’s so much that wasn’t good, so much pain I have to bury. It doesn’t help that I can’t stop moving. I never could. You wanted to sit, and just watch the sun set. I figited, I moved, I could never stop. In the end, I’ll just keep moving, searching for this thing I cannot name. I have to find it, have to travel. I don’t know what I’m looking for, I’ll know it when I find it. I’m chasing a dream, a hope that I cannot name, I’ll find it someday. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I told you I would leave, I warned you. It wasn’t enough. I’m sorry, but there was nothing I could say to make you understand. I’m sorry. I love you, I admit it, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I love deep and truly, but it won’t keep me here. I gave my heart to you, and now I’m going to leave. It will hurt, I know. Pain isn’t something that I’m scared of. It just is. I know a lot about pain. I’m chasing a dream, but I’m running from memories.
Silvery Shadow 13 · Wed Jul 15, 2009 @ 04:44pm · 0 Comments |
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