I've been feeling really fat lately. I lost about 10 pounds, and I think I gained most of it back. Wow. I basically stopped eating and lost weight. I'm trying to force myself to do that again, because it did work, and I didnt gain all the weight back crazy fast like people are telling me. Or maybe I should shove my finger or toothbrush down my throat after every meal...Maybe I'll feel better about myself :'D
I don't know. Maybe its because it's 1am, maybe its because I saw some Jeffree Star pictures, but I'm having bad body image. I know, I'm stupid to let someone like that bother me, but I do. He has a lot of people rooting for him because hes "pretty." I'm sorry, but he actually is. Hes not like OMG SO PRETTY, but hes not ugly. Hes thin. He's living a life I want. I can't have that life being the moo I am.
I'm going to get told "URE NOT FATZ DB<"
Shut up, I am. I mean, I'm a 26 some days a 24. I know I'm not MASSIVE, I can still walk, and wear slight normal sizes, but I am fat. I categorize myself as fat. I draw the line at where I'm at. Me and up Fat. Anything lower chubby to skinny.
I'm just tired of building up my confidence, and thinking I'm doing good, to get knocked down, and made to realize I'm really not. I was supposed to get a surgery (not stomach staple), and of course that ******** through. I'm just tired of being like this, and no matter what I do, I fall into the bad habits that got me like this.
What ever will we do with you Matthew?
MatthewxLov Community Member 
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