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So I wrote a crazy story for my friend dino zombie rawr and I showed it to my friend Azurae Skye and she said I should post it in a journal entry, so here it is, the oddest story I have ever Written!!!
Title: Not Enough Space ((I don't write stories often, so bare with me!)) Once upon a time, there was an old farmer whose name was Jamal. Jamal lived in the mountains with his wife, Merriam and handsome son Oliver. Oliver owned a flock of twenty llamas, and the son was very lazy, so everyday he made his crippled father heard the llamas up to their feeding ground and back to the little house again. Jamal did not complain, but his anger grew considerably with each passing day. One hot day in July, Oliver was sitting on the front porch, playing with a ball of yarn, waiting for his father to return home with his llamas. As the sun was setting over the horizon, Jamal and the llamas crested the hill and made their way to the house. Jamal stood panting before his son and said “Oliver!! If you do not start to take responsibility for these llamas, I will kill one for every day you neglect to take them over the hill!” and he waved his arms with finality. Oliver just shrugged and swatted at a fly, he then looked up and said to his father, “Fine, daddy’o! How hard can it be?” He made a snap with his fingers and opened the door, retreating to the dark inside of the house. Jamal followed him into the living room where his wife sat making a sweater for Oliver. “Do you here that Merriam? Oliver has just agreed to take responsibility for his llamas!” he waved a hand at Oliver in mocking. Merriam nodded and continued to knit the sweater in silence, she would make a comment after she had seen how Oliver handled the llamas in the days to come. ((So this is where it gets weird)) The sun burned bright the next day as Oliver dressed himself to lead the llamas across the hill. “I must be straight out o’ my mind, yo” he said as he donned his leather hiking shoes and headed out the door. The llamas were lazing about in the front yard as Oliver approached them, putting his iPod earphones in his ear. Two llamas walked over to Oliver, the first one tugged on his tunic and said “Where are we off to today, Oliver?” in a spritely British accent. “Just shut up and follow me, foo!” he replied in an angry tone. The second llama turned to the first and said, “I think I liked the old man better,” in a gruff Scottish accent. This is going to be a piece of cake! Oliver thought to himself as he started up the hill, twenty sleep deprived llamas in his wake. But just as they reached the top of the hill, a booming voice sounded in Oliver’s head and he spun around looking for the source. “IF YOU DON’T BUILD IT, THEIR NUMBERS WILL GROW” it said. He looked at the llamas to see if they had heard it as well, but they were just stupid llamas, what did they know? He decided to think nothing of it, and continued on his way, unhindered. Nothing out of the ordinary happened the rest of the day. He led the llamas up the hill, and back down to the house, without any mishaps. He walked pompously in the front door and announced jeeringly to his father that everything had gone well, and he planned to do it again in the morning. Still, as he went to bed, there was a nagging voice that told him, something was up. Sure enough, when the sun rose the next morning, Oliver walked outside and let out a great cry “WHAT THE BLAZING HELL, MAN!?” he screamed as he looked around the yard at forty scruffy brown llamas. “What is wrong, my friend?” said the llama with the Scottish accent as he strode over to Oliver who was still panic stricken. “What’s wrong?!” Said Oliver as he ran his hands through his hair frantically “What’s wrong is that I have twice as many stinking llamas as I yesterday, foo! That’s what be wrong!!!” he stomped around, his feet pounding the ground in anguish. He decided there was nothing wrong with a few more llamas, and did his job for the day, without a mishap once again. But as he lay in bed that night, he knew that if this happened again, he would have no where to put those llamas. Sure enough over the next few days, it continued to happen. On the fifth day Oliver woke up to find 640 llamas sitting in every unused space in their tiny valley. All he could do was stare, and his parents were even more confused. “You better find a way to get rid of these llamas!!” Exclaimed Jamal as he threw a kick at the nearest one that happened to be lounging on his designer rug. Oliver hurried up the hill as fast as he could, harried by dozens of dozing llamas, hopping they would see him and follow. As he got to the top of the hill, he saw a man in a white robe, sitting on a rock, in a surprisingly llama free patch of grass. It was Jesus. Of course it had to be Jesus, he had to come into the story somehow. We all knew it would happen. Anyways, there was Jesus, sitting on a rock. Oliver went up to him and said “Jesus!? You have to help me with all these llamas! Make them disappear!” Jesus looked at Oliver and shrugged, “I’m afraid I cannot, you see, I am the one who made them appear!” he said with a wave of his hand. At this, Oliver made a rude gesture and stomped his feet. “But why, home-dog?!” He said pacing up and down. “Because,” said Jesus calmly, “you refused to build my all llama inclusive hot springs resort and theme park.” Oliver stared at him blanked faced and raised his eyebrows. “Yes,” said Jesus to his confused look “Llama Mountain. The Llamas paradise… The Disney Land for llamas!” He made a grand sweeping motion with his hands and smiled jovially. “So all I had to do was build this… Llama Mountain? And they would all disappear?” Oliver said with a dumbstruck face. “Yes!” Said Jesus still smiling. “But that completely defeats the purpose of a moral to this idiotic story, so I’m going to say you had to do it to earn your place in the world, become helpful to your family, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda, etc, ect!” And with that, Jesus and Oliver flew off into the night to go and build Llama mountain, with the help of Richard Simmons and 40,000 extreme home makeover crew members. THE END
yeahhhhh......thoughts??? Comments??? XD
Pelagic Paladin · Sun May 24, 2009 @ 08:40am · 2 Comments |
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