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So....today...lonely....
other then my ligthening talk with Natalie, nothing more interseting has happened.
I've been blowing off all these other emotions. God....I'm really starting to hate this.

I'm so sick of playing this freaking game. I'm done, ok, I'm freaking done.
I dont know what the hell I've done in past lives, I don't know even if I HAVE past lives! I 'm just tired. I'm sick of all of this. I was sick of it before any of this s**t started! I'm so tired of playing this game. I feel like I've done it time and time again, but I keep loosing it! ARGH! God, I'm so tired of all of this.

See, I don't want to "die" because when you "die" you still live. I want to cease to exist. Just fade to nothing nothing. Just go. That's the way to do it. I want to be able to close my eyes and not get pulled into any kind of dramatic needless s**t.

I could freaking care less about the rest of what's going on. It doesn't affect me, so I'm not concerned. Yes, it's selfish thinking, but I'm tired of getting worked up because of other people's s**t. I'm tired.

I'm done, I'm tired. I just want to go home. I don't know where home is yet but I'm going to find it and get there. I'm sick of doing all of this! I just want to leave. Why is this so frusterating!?