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I honestly.... it just........no it absolutely......... no, nope, the is no way that I am falling for two people I barely even know. Well one of them I don't know at all and he other......... I told myself I wouldn't allow this to happen. There is no way on God's beautiful green earth that I will ever allow myself to fall for anyone. No one will ever know what it's like to be loved by me. They will never ever know it. I shall never ever do it. No I shall not. I told myself that a long time ago. I don't want to get hurt. I would rather stay in the house all day and never know anyone than to be out and get my heart broken. I just won't allow it to happen to me. Everyone else who thinks it is so great to fall in love, I wonder how long it will last. I don't love people. Sorry. It just won't happen. You can be my friend if you want to be, but my lover....... that would just never ever ever happen. I don't care what people say about it, but when you ahve your hearts broken......... it won't be my fault cause I warned you. Can I have a crush? Hell yes. But will I ever allow my feelings to get past that. Hell no! I don't love people and the people dont' love my back. Whatever you have to say about it is your business. And yet somehow, I find myself wanting to be more open to people everyday. I want to love people,but I just can't. I want great things to happen,but they just won't happen to me or for me. My associates all have ......people, but I don't and I feel like an odd number. I hate myself for it.